Charleston, Charleston

We're in Charleston, and this guy in a suit has to leave because he's having a baby, and it's his anniversary. Way to have your priorities straight even going to "American Idol," dude.
First is Raysharde. He says he sounds like Clay Aiken, although he is black. Randy is amused right away. Simon says "I wouldn't have been surprised if you had done a magic trick in the middle of that."
DeAnna swears before her audition starts, about the customers where she waitresses. They eat too much brunch. She is also a theatrical performer, and sassy. She corrects Simon on mispronouncing her name, and he tries to make jokes with her about not eating too much lunch. She gives him a death stare. She's out.
Randy and Crystal met "right over there, right by that trash can." Yow. Actually they met on "American Idol" message boards, which raises Ryan's eyebrows. They are singing, and Simon is frowning. "If I was in your family, I'd ask you to stop (singing)," Simon says to Crystal.
A huge, happy brother and sister come in, Michelle and Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he wears dog tags because Simon has a "military presence." They both get in! They are so adorable! I love them!
Amy says "whatevs!" and she preaches about abstinence. Randy says "Simon needs that" and she sort of accuses Simon of being gay. Surprise, he doesn't like her. "I think it's a bit much for you to say!" she says when he insults her. She makes it even though Simon says no.
London took care of her dying father before her audition. Ever get the feeling these people use these family tragedies? She gets through.
Fifteen make the cut the first day.
Lyndsey flies huge jets. She sings pretty well, but she doesn't make it.
Aretha is named after Aretha Franklin. She says she is as good as all the other Idols. She has the biggest breasts I have ever seen, and she can't stop arguing with the judges. Paula asks "is she married?"
Joshua sings "I am Telling You I am Not Going." Why do people even attempt this song? Even sung properly, it's horrible! When the judges reject him, he says "this show is fake and rigged!" and Simon says "you are rude and deluded." Then he storms out.
The baby daddy is back! Oliver has a weird audition, and gets rejected by everyone, but still brings his baby in, so I guess his priorities are OK after all. Simon says "I feel like this is my baby!"
Eight more make the cut the second day.