It's the last night of auditions

We start right off with terrible people. Not a good sign for the night.
Amy is gorgeous, and she sings "Blue Bayou." She gets in, with the possibility of her future.
Tiffany is wearing an awful dress and sings the weirdest scales I have ever heard. She starts singing this church song, horribly. Ugh.
Next we meet this weirdo love triangle. Chris and Cory are brothers. They do a rap, and it was cheeseball. Then Ashley, their girlfriend -- ick, comes in with a puppy and Simon kisses it. Her singing is "torture," according to Simon. The guys put her up to it. None of these people get through. She is very cheery about it.
Cardin is a waitress and she's pretty good. Simon says she's too theatrical, but Randy and Paula like her.
JoAnne sings a Celine Dion song, and she gets through.
Alesha also sings Celine, and she is really lousy. She has this stupid little girl voice. Simon calls her audition dreadful. They all say learn a Dolly Parton song and Ryan tries to teach her "9 to 5." She comes back to sing "Islands in the Stream." Wow, they really know their stuff. She sounds much better doing the Dolly Parton song! Simon says he hates to admit it but they were right! She gets through.
Montage of people singing badly. One guy adds swears to the song.
Josh calls himself J Smoove. He sings a song called "Beautiful Lady." Simon says "that was catchy," dripping with sarcasm. Then he calls him "revolting." Simon offers to sweep up the rose petals and he says "what do I do with this thing?" It's called a broom, Simon.
Chikezie has auditioned before. Randy wasn't feeling him. This time he gets through. He has clearly improved, because he was good!
Danny has been here before too. He is quite the femme, but he's more confident this time. He sings "Proud Mary," a weird choice.
One hundred and sixty four people make it to Hollywood.

"Idol" hits the beach

San Diego bound. Paula looks drunk!

Tetiana sings "Someone to Watch Over Me." Simon thought she was really obnoxious (I agree with him!) but everyone said yes to Hollywood anyway.
Perrie is a single dad with a wonderful little boy. His mom was killed. I like him. He sings Boyz II Men. He is going to Hollywood.
Michael is a white soul singer. Votefortheworst.com said he's already a pro, though. He gets to Hollywood.
Montage of bad people.
Valerie thinks she sounds like Mariah Carey. She does screech like Mariah, and might resemble Mariah at her most unbalanced, like that day she was handing out ice cream on "TRL." Simon tries to imitate her. She realizes she is "going to be on the rejects, this is so not cool!"
Montage includes a mime with a guy wearing a sombrero.
Simon notes that Monique looks like three different people dressed her. She is singing Whitney Houston. Simon says "I think this is going to be pointless" and she keeps singing. She goes on and on as the judges throw insults at her. Then she cries, and says "I know I can sing."
Her friend Christopher screams "The Greatest Love of All" and he is also a bad listener. He is also terrible. Simon asks "does that sound good to you, Christopher?" and he keeps singing. They seem to have a strategy of never stop singing. Grizz and Dotcom walk him out finally.
Simon lets Samantha's sister sits next to him for the audition. Samantha is not bad, singing Aretha Franklin. The sisters give Simon some love as Samantha goes to Hollywood.
Blake was "the idiot as the Statue of Liberty," in Simon's words. He has auditioned 10 times before. Blake's mom says this may be more her dream than his. He gets turned down, again.
Another bad montage. lots of crying.
Alberto is a g-d hippie. They show him spinning a Barbie and smelling flowers. And he belly dances. Again, He. Belly. Dances. He wrote his own song called "Live." He is nowhere near as fun as Renaldo and "Brothers Forever." Alberto says Simon kept interrupting his song. Later he hugs his ugly family. His family member says "he is talented in many different ways -- artistic, floral (?) ..."
Back from commercial with another montage.
David is also mentioned in votefortheworst as someone who has been behind the scenes at "Idol" for some time. Randy sings backup for him. he goes to Hollywood. Paula wants to squish him.
Last is Carly, who is also on votefortheworst. Simon says "that wasn't as good as two years ago!" and she glares at him. Still, she goes to Hollywood. Her and her freakishly tattooed husband are very cute as they cry.
Thirty others go to Hollywood.

Tomorrow is South Carolina.