I don't like 'Sex and the City'

OK, I can appreciate rabid fandom. After all, I am a "Star Wars" fan, and this is the second time in a week I have posted a "Robot Chicken" clip on this site.
But what I cannot - and will never - understand, is the appeal of "Sex and the City." The problem is not only that four full-grown women sit in public places and loudly discuss sex (watch the clip below and note the reaction of the guy at the next table "Lookin' for the check!"), or that each of Carrie's outfits would cost more than, oh, a lifetime's worth of paychecks for a freelance newspaper columnist. After all, who expects TV to be realistic, right?
There's the rub. Now that the movie is being released this week, people are once again using one word to describe this show - relatable. Which part? The inappropriate public sex talk? (Who has EVER sat in a restaurant with three other people and discussed sex this frankly? Bueller?) The ridiculous "fashion"? I understand that it is nice to have three friends who stick by you through everything, but surround it with all this bull, and all hope of realism disappears.
If my show is going to be a fantasy, I prefer something that is at least FUNNY, as well. This. Show. Is. Not. Funny. "Scrubs" is fantasy, and it's funny. "Arrested Development" is fantasy, and it's EXTREMELY funny. "Sex and the City" is not funny. It's whiny, rude, obvious, overindulgent, stupid and offensive, but it's not funny.
And I have watched it, so don't give me that. The very first episode I ever saw was about Samantha complaining about the bad taste of her boyfriend's semen. And I actually watched it again after that - but not until it was on TBS! I saw an episode about Miranda dating a guy who previously only dated models (I hated all the times that happened to me!). I saw Carrie pissed off because her 50-year-old, married '50s throwback boyfriend didn't want to meet her friends. I couldn't figure out why he had wanted to meet HER. I saw Carrie cheat on her fiance Aidan and then whine when he was upset about it. I saw Carrie, again, upset in Paris (!) because her boyfriend Mikhail Baryshnikov (!) didn't pay enough attention to her (!) (Mr. Big showed up to save the day, and again, WHY?).
So I gave it a chance before I decided it was worthless. Have fun at your little cosmofest this weekend, ladies. I'll be watching "Robot Chicken."

http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=3306512d41a010000eb401668a881793

The return of 'Heroes'

NBC has released its fall premiere dates. Is it just me is this info trickling out slower than ever? By September we should have all the networks' full schedules, at the rate we're going.

"Heroes" will start with a one-hour long clip show bringing us up to date since it has been so long since it's been on.

Friday, Sept. 12
7 p.m. “America’s Toughest Jobs”
Monday, Sept. 22
7 p.m. “Heroes” clip show
8 p.m. “Heroes (two hours)
Tuesday, Sept. 23
9 p.m. “Law & Order: SVU”
Wednesday, Sept. 24
7 p.m. “Knight Rider”
9 p.m. “Lipstick Jungle”
Thursday, Sept. 25
7 p.m. “My Name Is Earl” (one hour)
8 p.m. “The Office” (one hour)
9 p.m. “ER”
Monday, Sept. 29
7 p.m. “Chuck”
9 p.m. “My Own Worst Enemy”
Friday, Oct. 3
9 p.m. “Life”
Thursday, Oct. 9
8:30 p.m. “Kath & Kim”
Friday, Oct. 17
7 p.m. “Crusoe” (two hours)
Thursday, Oct. 30
7:30 p.m. “30 Rock”

Happy Indiana Jones Day!

Here's a "Robot Chicken" sketch based on everyone's favorite archaeologist, to mark the release of the new movie today.

http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=f342569017d92a110d806060aa07107b

The wait is over - the next 'American Idol' is...

... and we'll tell you in the next post. (Just kidding, that's just how Ryan does it on the show.)
This finale has seemed inevitable for about 12 weeks now, and here it is. David Cook is the winner, and next season promises lots of changes.
If I may suggest one change, less is more! Enough with the hour-long results shows, two-hour finales, and so forth. It's too much for anyone over 14 to deal with.
As for advice for the new Idol, let me quote Randy by saying "OK, OK, check it out. You can sing the phone book, dawg! That was hot! You are in the zone! Still, it was a little pitchy, dawg. I'm not mad at you for that." If you could program a robot to say just those things, Randy could spend more time on his eyewear line and MTV dancing show.
I can't really quote the others, even though like Paula I could do the critiques before the singing. Simon, on the other hand, is usually right.
See you next season, dawg!

'American Idol' finale

It appears that the fact that they have two guys in the finale made them want to try out a "Let's get ready to rumble" opening. With David Archuleta in a boxing robe. Uff...
It must be deafening in the Kodak Theatre tonight. And Simon gets a lot of screaming.
Big David and Little David? First the boxing robes, and now this? They're both bigger than Ryan I bet. Hee.
The mentors are Clive Davis and Andrew Lloyd Webber. God, Clive Davis looks like the Crypt Keeper!
Simon says, "you have to hate your opponent!" Oh, come on. Instead of that, the Davids gush about how great the other one is.
Now we learn the structure. First song is chosen by Clive Davis. (OK, I am already sick of the stupid boxing guy.)

David Cook
Song: "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" (yay!)
I think: He's not making it his own, but he is ably handling the huge vocal.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says "I'm gonna call you DC," (whatever) but it was a great song choice and it was "hot, baby!" Paula says "we have found David Cook, and we need to look no further." Simon says he looked very tense "but it was phenomenal."

David Archuleta
Song: "Don't Let The Sun Go Down on Me"
I think: He sings this song beautifully, but it's not a very contemporary sound. He does keep his eyes open, ANDREW.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says this was the right time for such a great performance. Paula has chills and "the sun is never going to go down on you!" Randy is still yelling about it being "hot!" Simon says "tonight's performance was the best you've done so far. Round one goes to Archuleta."

The first commercial after this is for "Beverly Hills Chihuahua." I literally yelled "What the hell!" for 30 seconds.
The next song is chosen from a pool of new songs.

David Cook
Song: "Dream Big"
I think: This track, sung by David, is radio-ready. Fantastic long note at the end.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says the song was just OK, but "you were singing your face off there." Paula says "this is great way to take a song we don't know and fall in love with it." Simon says "it was a bit of a lightweight, but you made the most of what you had. It didn't feel like a winning moment to me."

David Archuleta
Song: "In This Moment"
I think: He should have chosen a faster song, just to get out of that sincere David thing. It is not a bad song, though.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says once again, the song was just OK, but interestingly enough, he thinks David could sing the phone book. (What an original thought!) Paula says it was another great performance, and that's why he is where he is. Simon says "I love the egotistical lyric" and "Round two goes to David Archuleta."

The third song is whatever the contestants want.

David Cook
Song: "The World I Know" (I was hoping it would be the phone book. Wouldn't that be awesome? Maybe someone should HIT Randy with a phone book.)
I think: Simon totally disagrees with me tonight, but I think Cook is just more contemporary. This song is a bit slow, but he's still singing it very well. And he finally breaks down at the end.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says the cool thing about David Cook is that he is showing all the different sides of him. Paula says "you're standing in your truth." She also applauds him, David Cook. Simon says he is "one of the nicest, most sincere contestants that we have ever had." He then says it was utterly the wrong song. He also winks when David says "I understand what you're saying."

David Archuleta
Song: "Imagine"
I think: I'm going to go out on a limb here and say his version of this song is boring. It's too perfect. I disagree with Simon, who said to Cook that he should have done a song that he nailed previously, like "Billie Jean." I would have liked to hear something new.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says "you are exactly what this show is about! The best singer of season 7 is right here!" Paula says he has left her speechless (all evidence to the contrary) and "you were stunning tonight." Simon says "tonight we have witnessed one of the great finals, and what we have witnessed is a knockout." (I feel so sorry for him right now I can hardly stand it. He's so clearly overwhelmed, I'm surprised he could sing as well as he did.)

I think David Archuleta's going to win. And I think they both have recording careers.
Ruben Studdard sings us out, and I have to say I could see Archuleta singing this kind of song in a couple of years, possibly even for "Idol."

'90210'? Really?

Have things gotten so bad that this passes for exciting news? Another generation has passed, so now we have '90s nostalgia, which follows '80s nostalgia, which follows '70s nostalgia... someday this will happen to you kids of the 'aughts, too.
This promo promises that it will be more "provocative," which shouldn't be hard, right? Or maybe you don't remember "Donna Martin graduates!" In the age of "Gossip Girl," promising to be provocative means the new mantra may be "Donna Martin has threesomes!"
And is that Jessica Walter? How sad, that this is what follows her awesome turn as Lucille on "Arrested Development" (which hopefully will get its own revamp in the 2020s).
I just don't get it.

The best new comedy

I don't know what you think, but this seems like the best show of the new season so far.
Get it?