tv jedi

Why the Lost finale did not "suck"

2010-05-24T09:32:00.000-05:00

ABC image/ Jack and Vincent prepare for the end.

WARNING: I am going to talk about the end, because last night the show "Lost" ended. I think it's OK to do that.

Last night, while I was waiting for the "Jimmy Kimmel Live" special to start, I popped on Facebook and Fark.com to see what people were saying about the "Lost" finale. Overwhelmingly, one word was coming up again and again - "sucked." I won't get into why we can't be more eloquent in our criticism here, but I am here to tell you why it did not, in fact, suck.
This obsession with answers that cropped up in season six of "Lost," and became almost deafening the closer the finale got - I'll admit, I got a little caught up in it early in season 6.
The closer it got to the end, the more I reverted to my "Lost" mantra, I am along for the ride. And today I understand perfectly what they were doing.
The "Lost" finale was about closure, not answers.
As I watched people reunite, still wondering what was going to happen, I didn't even think about wasting time, or what made the island so special. Because who cares. In the end, the island was mystical and had electromagnetic energy and a lot science geeks got off on that, but what really kept us watching were Jack, Sawyer, Hurley, Sun, Jin, Locke, Ben, Charlie, Claire, Desmond, Sayid and Kate - well, maybe not so much Kate (although she was awfully good in the finale). It was the characters.
The last 15 minutes, I could not stop sobbing. I was sobbing as much about saying goodbye to the show as what was happening on screen. And the final image, although it now seems obvious, I never tried to figure out what it would be, and therefore it was a beautiful, perfectly appropriate coda.
You can say I'm thick for not figuring it out. I will tell you I got to experience it fully for not obsessing about being "first" for knowing what it would be.
And when you think about it, many of the answers were already there. I read a particularly annoying article the other day with "50 questions 'Lost' must answer!" - What was the Dharma Initiative? - seriously? A failed attempt at Utopia thwarted by a murderous Ben Linus. Next question? No wonder Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof did an interview with Wired magazine where they basically said "Lost" fans are toddlers always asking "why? why? why?"
I miss the characters already. Namaste.

Coming soon to a TV near you

2010-05-19T17:15:00.000-05:00

The fall announcements are coming in -- "upfronts" to people in the biz -- and one of the quirkier offerings is the reboot of "Hawaii Five-O." It just seems to me that the ship may have sailed on this one. However, Daniel Dae Kim from "Lost" is in it, with Alex O'Loughlin from "Moonlight," Scott Caan of the "Ocean's Eleven" movies and Grace Park from "Battlestar Gallactica," so it could be good.

Here's the opening credits. This is a test of how you are, whether or not this makes you smile.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0i0ik3WO68

Dancing with the Stars - Buzz's ouster

2010-04-07T11:30:00.001-05:00

In this ABC photo, Evan and Anna show how it's done.

No one can be shocked, and most must be a little relieved, that poor Buzz Aldrin's dancing was put out of its misery this week on "Dancing with the Stars."

His reasons for doing the show kind of said it all - he was doing it for fighter pilots, veterans, the space program, old people - but was any of that about dancing?
The 80-year-old was a charmer, no doubt - although his early constant flirting with dance partner Ashly kind of came off as "creepy old man" more than "grandfatherly."
This week, the rehearsal footage revealed a lot of drama in the couples, but not for Evan and Anna, who soared to the top of the leader board, and dazzled with their quickstep. Evan's broken toes did not affect his performance in the slightest.
Several of the other dancers pouted and bickered - some broke the rules, like Nicole and Derek, who may have given a show-stopping performance, but there is a week devoted to freestyle and this was not it. Some gave performances that were best described by the judges themselves, as "odd" and "hard to watch" - looking at you, Kate Gosselin.
Early concerns were Evan may just come off as too "boring" and "normal" for this glittery program. But this week certainly showed that being good at what you are supposed to do and following the rules holds its own benefits - a chance to move on to the next week.
So there are benefits to being the nice, good, hard-working guy after all. I for one hope it continues to work for Evan.

Dancing - Shannen's ouster

2010-03-31T11:31:00.004-05:00

Shannen Doherty and partner Mark Ballas on Monday on "Dancing with the Stars." / AP photo

The internet is abuzz with speculation since Shannen Doherty's unexpected elimination last night on "Dancing with the Stars."
What it came down during the broadcast to was three surprises, two within the first minute of the show:

1) Buzz Aldrin was safe

2) Pam Anderson was in the bottom two

3) Kate Gosselin survived, and was not in the bottom two

I would not call Shannen's elimination that much of a surprise and will explain why here. Let's go point by point.

1) Buzz got sympathy votes. He clearly cannot dance, but he's a sweet old guy and people felt sorry for him. I would contend a better way to show him support would be to let him off the show - he does not know what he is doing - but he wants to be there, so I don't think I am right about that.

2) Think about this. Do we really think "Dancing with the Stars" demographic and Pam Anderson's fanbase are the same? Maybe we did before last night, but they are obviously not. I thought Pammie laid it on a little thick for both dances - but showed more talent in her foxtrot. The judges loved her both times. America's housewives didn't want to watch her exude her Pam Anderson-ness any more. If she's going to survive, she's going to need some Maxim readers, stat.

3) In this contest, we vote FOR someone, not against him or her. If the voting was against, I still think Kate and her tantrums and hair extensions would be out for sure, but there are some people out there who look at Jon with his Ed Hardy shirts and skanky girlfriends and think it's a wash, they're both awful - so it looks like she squeaked by for now. Plus, we love the drama. The tabloids wouldn't keep putting her on the cover if we weren't buying. Remember, "Jon and Kate" only became a real hit after their marriage hit the skids.

And that's what did Shannen in, too - drama, or more precisely, a lack of it. She and her partner were all smiles, she was doing it for her dad, she was crying and grateful - she was the anti-Kate. People made their choice. They voted off the woman who talked about her dad and got along with her partner, and kept the one who treated her partner like one of her kids and caused him to walk off at one point during the second episode (a first, host Tom Bergeron chirpily said).

If it's something different than that, prove me wrong.

Anybody else worried about Evan Lysacek about now?

Dancing with the Stars

2010-03-31T09:37:00.004-05:00

My latest project is I have been following Olympic Gold medalist Evan Lysacek in his quest for the mirrorball on "Dancing with the Stars."

I have been Live Tweeting the episodes and they show up on this page on Monday and Tuesday nights. Also, I do a recap that runs in the Naperville Sun.

Here are the first two stories.

http://bit.ly/bz1AAJ http://bit.ly/9pc6e4

http://bit.ly/bz1AAJ

It's the Oscars!

2010-03-07T17:54:00.047-06:00

I am tweeting the Oscars for work, so I will updating my blog here from time to time.

Why is Amanda Seyfried at the Oscars? Because she looks like a dress hanger. Can't wait until her 15 minutes are over.

Sandra Bullock looks like an Oscar herself. She says she's always pessimistic - she should have been a little more about "All About Steve."

Ryan Seacrest just told Tyler Perry that Mo'Nique "is here." No way, she showed up? Why would she do that?

As I struggle not to throw up during Red Carpet coverage (I've already switched from E! to the TV Guide Channel), quick quiz - who saw all 10 Best Picture nominees? Yes, I did and yes, I am showing off.

Oh my God! Antonio Banderas has a grey beard!

So far, people who should not be allowed at the Oscars: Melanie Griffith, Sarah Jessica Parker, Miley Cyrus, Rachel McAdams....

Kathryn Bigelow is a FOOT taller than Ryan Seacrest! Hilarious.

More people who don't belong: Jennifer Lopez, her husband Skeletor, Demi Moore (the white haired freak on E! only wants to talk these people)

Nice try at lurking, Clooney.

More people who don't belong: Keanu Reeves (whoa) - on the screen on E! at the same time as Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner. Nice.

More people who don't belong: Keanu Reeves (whoa) - on the screen on E! at the same time as Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner. Nice.

Robert Downey Jr. Siiigghhhhh.............. That is all.

I saw a trailer "Tron Legacy" today and it looks awesome. (Sorry, Jeff Bridges was just on)

Anybody else want to stab Guiliana and the white-haired guy on E! in the eye yet? SO glad it's almost 7!

It was funny to watch the opening montage on ABC and see if any of the couples were still together. I don't think a single one was.

The parade of WTF continues: Cameron Diaz, Jake Gyllenhaal and his dumb video game movie, Zac Efron...

There may be a divide between the movies I am looking forward to and the movies "America" is looking forward to. Hence these presenters.

It's NEIL PATRICK HARRIS! I am cheering! Is anyone else?

Oh, and look, there's that damn Helen Mirren. ... Steve, that's DAME Helen Mirren.

Oh, is it too late? My big prediction is Josh Larsen @larsenonfilm will not like the Oscar hosts and I will love them. Every year.

Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz ("Inglourious Basterds") That's an uber bingo! His speeches are weird, but at least he writes a speech.

Best animated feature: "Up" The people who work on animated films seem so much happier than regular people.

Best Song: "The Weary Kind" by Ryan Bingham and T-Bone Burnett from "Crazy Heart"

This show is really moving along. Everyone is going to win their Oscar pool, the way this is going...

RDJ, what with the sunglasses?

Best Original Screenplay: Mark Boal "The Hurt Locker"

I love Mark Boal's story. Embedded reporter with an idea. It's the dream.

John Hughes tribute time. Matthew Broderick, cute story. I imagine he really does hear about Ferris every day.

I think the John Hughes character that I resemble most closely is Duckie. Think about which one you would be.

The animated short feature was actually pretty interesting. Perish the thought, learning something during the Oscars.

Animated short: "Logorama" Nicholas Schmerkin (which actually looks pretty cool)

Documentary short: "Music by Prudence" Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett

Live Action Short Film: "The New Tenants"

Ben Stiller's a Na'Vi! Ben Stiller's a Na'Vi! I really don't care what he does, I laughed the whole time anyway. DON'T TELL ME IT'S NOT FUNNY JOSH I DON'T CARE

These clips are reminding me of great moments from these films. Like "the parking lot" rabbi in "A Serious Man."

Best Makeup: "Star Trek" (I missed this earlier during Ben Stiller's silliness)

Adapted screenplay: Jeffrey Fletcher "Precious"

Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique "Precious" The second leas surprising award of the night.

Art Direction: "Avatar"

Costume design: "The Young Victoria." Quick poll: how much do you hate it when a winner points out "wow, I already have two of these." Esp. when you haven't heard of the person.

Come on, salute to horror films. We still have 2 sound awards, score, cinematography, documentary, editing, visual effects ...

Sound editing: "The Hurt Locker" Score one for Team Bigelow

Ha, look at this sound guy. He looks like someone from one of the horror movies.

Sound mixing: "The Hurt Locker"

So now we can forever say Academy Award nominated film "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." @larsenonfilm did say it had good sound.

Cinematography: "Avatar"

People with dead careers talking about dead people. How fitting.

WHY IS THERE DANCING? Interpretive dancing "The Hurt Locker"? I believe the young people call this a FAIL.

Some things are controversial, but I have never heard anyone say "you know what I love? The dancing."

Original score: "Up"

Visual effects: "Avatar" Well, duh.

If you have not seen these films, these clips are awfully revealing.

Best Documentary Feature: "The Cove"

That's right Tyler Perry, they will NEVER say your name at the Oscars.

Film Editing: "The Hurt Locker"

Best Foreign Language Film: "El Secreto de Sus Ojos" ("The Secrets in Their Eyes")

This Best Actor intro is eating up a lot of time.

Best Actor: Jeff Bridges "Crazy Heart." If you ever wondered how many times you can say "man" during an Oscar acceptance speech and still sound cool, that was it.

Best Actress: Sandra Bullock ("the Blind Side") Sandra Bullock thanks her mom while her husband, the motorcycle man, cries. Ain't that America?

YEAH! Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow "The Hurt Locker." I wish her speech wasn't so dull.

Best Picture: "The Hurt Locker." I had a feeling about "the Hurt Locker" since I saw it in June. I've been pestering people to see it since then. it's just a great film. I don't want to say I told you so, but, well, I think I told you so. Good night, everybody.

I want to go to there

2010-02-01T20:02:00.003-06:00

Hi Jon!

This week Jon Hamm hosted "Saturday Night Live" and proved something that I have been saying for a long time - "Saturday Night Live" can still be funny. It seems to all come down to the host these days.
The worst show this season, ironically, was hosted by January Jones, Hamm's co-star on "Mad Men," who proved she hadn't spent one second thinking about the gig since she said she'd host.
The best, like Hamm and Joseph Gordon Levitt, who used his monologue to perform an homage to the classic song "Make 'Em Laugh" from "Singin' in the Rain." Levitt indicated he started working on the bit as soon as he got the hosting job.
I could show you so many bits - and I suggest you look up the digital short "Sergio" and the sketch "New Senator." I will leave you with this, my personal favorite, featuring Hamm and musical guest Michael Buble as restaurateurs.

Extraordinary Measures and healthcare

2010-01-25T08:52:00.004-06:00

Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser hash it out.

"97 percent of people will not have the courage to post this as their status update. Women are dying of breast cancer and this is wrong. For the 3 percent who post this, it is an important issue. Only 3 percent of people will have the courage to take this stand. If you are one of them, post this as your status update for an hour to pass it along."
Status updates like this are showing up on Facebook like wildfires. And like everything else about this ever-present social network, they have fans and detractors.
I read an article recently that summed it perfectly for me: slactivism. You post an update, but have you really "done" anything? Will any minds be changed because of what you had the "courage" to post?
My husband and I have further wryly noted to each other that these "controversial" statuses are rarely things that people would ever come out against. Really, do you know anyone who roots for cancer?
I would call "Extraordinary Measures" a slactivism movie. You go to it, feel good that you feel bad for those poor people, and go on with your life.
The problem was, I didn't have that reaction at all.
The film is competently acted - after all it features Harrison Ford, albeit in a completely made-up character in a "true story." But that's only part of the issue, as far as I am concerned. This is the first movie that made me not want to jump up and cheer, but jump up and poll the audience's political views.
The audience, besides my son and I (who was assigned the film for his freelance movie reviewing job), was composed entirely of elderly people. The film centers on a family with two children with a terrible genetic disease called Pompe disease. In simple terms, the disease chokes the body to death by enlarging organs to the point where the person cannot breathe. Persons afflicted do not live past childhood.
Treatment, as you can imagine, is quite expensive. The Crowleys manage because Mr. Crowley (Brendan Fraser) works at a pharmaceutical company (one of the more interesting, and actually true, elements of the story) at the beginning of the film. They meet an eccentric scientist (played by Harrison Ford) who may hold the key to curing their children.
At one point Aileen Crowley (played by Keri Russell) says plainly it costs $40,000 a month to care for the children. It was at this point I simply wanted to stop the film and start questioning the audience.
What if these people were poor and had no insurance? What if they were black or Hispanic? Would I hear sniffles then? Would you clap at the end then? What if they needed the government healthcare I have seen elderly people (granted, maybe not these exact elderly people, but maybe, who knows) on television screaming their heads off about?
It's no longer a nice Hollywood movie with well-behaved, pretty white children with means. What then?
I realize slacktivism is easier. You get your happy ending, and you can go home to Fox News. But I'm just asking questions. Isn't that what they do on Fox News, too?

Screen Actors Guild Awards

2010-01-23T19:02:00.033-06:00

A bunch of people talk about being actors to introduce this show instead of Ricky Gervais fake (or real?) pissing everyone off. This seems to go over better.

Best male actor in a TV comedy series: Alec Baldwin ("30 Rock"). Don't they call lady actors actresses? Not any more! Larry David did not clap for him. Probably sick of him winning... Alec thanks the union, and reminds us all that negotiations are coming up. Oh swell. No more strikes!

Christoph Waltz and Diane Kruger introduce the first nominated film ensemble, "Inglourious Basterds." Nice dress, Diane.

Anna Paquin has boooobs and she wants you to see them.

Best female actor in a TV comedy series: Tina Fey ("30 Rock"). Why can't I have hair like that? She wanted to tell NBC that they are very happy. Cute.

There was a "Team America" clip in the funny moments montage. Did you see it?

Best TV comedy ensemble: "Glee." What is funny about people singing obviously lip-synced songs? Just askin'. (I personally laughed at every clip but theirs, did anyone else notice that too?)

The second nominated film ensemble is "Precious."

Best male actor in a film supporting role: Christoph Waltz ("Inglourious Basterds"). I see he remains committed to his "making the speech related to the event" with his convoluted Screen and Actor and Projectionist speech. Still, he's so sweet.

Felicity Huffman is screwing up again?! UNREAL! Alec Baldwin saves the day. Take that conservatives!

Best female actor in a drama TV series: Hollywood love them some Julianna Margulies ("The Good Wife"). "My parents have been so supportive of every role ... well, except 'Snakes on a Plane'...."

Best male actor in a drama TV series: Michael C. Hall ("Dexter").

The third nominated film ensemble is "An Education."

Best ensemble performance in a TV drama: "Mad Men." It was nice to see "Mad Men" get something again!

Blah blah blah blah Ken Howard, no Haiti doesn't have anything to do with tonight, and George Clooney doesn't want any more attention for the telethon.

Sandra Bullock finds Betty White annoying. Here here! "She named four shows after herself - most people would give up after three ....." Wow, there was a time when Betty White was not really old. She has been around forever, hasn't she? Betty came up and the first thing she says about Sandra Bullock is "Isn't it wonderful to see how far a girl as plain as her can go?" Plus she has made at least three sex jokes in her speech, which is hilarious and more gracious than anything else tonight so far. She is 88!

Best female actor in a TV movie or miniseries: Drew Barrymore ("Grey Gardens"). Her entire speech may be composed of the word "um."

The fourth nominated film ensemble is "The Hurt Locker." Also, I think Jeremy Renner is wearing a velvet suit.

Best male actor in a TV movie or miniseries: Kevin Bacon ("Taking Chance"). The guy who helped Kevin learn how to act like a Marine is on his third tour of duty. No fun.

Sigourney Weaver got to do the death montage. So she's got that going for her.

Best female actor in a film supporting role: Mo'nique ("Precious"). She is getting more confident.

The fifth nominated film ensemble is "Nine." And after Mo'Nique's powerful speech, these skinny minis and their little dresses all look a little silly.

Best male actor in a film lead role: Jeff Bridges ("Crazy Heart"). I just saw this film and Bridges is very good in it, but I am getting a little worried about "Up in the Air" and "The Hurt Locker." These two films aren't getting the awards they deserve. "Bone turned me onto a great singing coach ... he does it over the phone ..." This guy is about 93% The Dude.

Please, for the love of God, keep Warren Beatty away from the actresses!

Best female actresses in a film lead role: Sandra Bullock ("The Blind Side.") Wel, well, now she's beaten Meryl Streep. It is ON. I predicted this week that she would beat Meryl Streep at the Oscars this year. Mark My Words.

George Clooney said he was on "The Golden Girls" in 1986 and he thanked Betty White for her discretion.

Best ensemble cast is: Inglourious Basterds! What a shocker! I couldn't help but cheer, even though it was still a disappointment for "The Hurt Locker." Who doesn't love an underdog story? The cast of "Nine," maybe.

Lost meets 24

2010-01-21T19:36:00.003-06:00

I found this on FARK.com. It's a 24-style real time video of the Lost plane crash a fan made from clips from various episodes. It is pretty well-done, and should leave you anxious for the premiere, which is in 12 more days.

Lost returns at 8 p.m. Feb. 2! See you there!

How can they not find 10 movies?

2010-01-20T14:42:00.010-06:00

In honor of this blog post, which states that Motion Picture Acedemy members are struggling so hard to find 10 movies to name to the newly expanded Best Picture category some are considering Sam Raimi's "Drag Me To Hell," I have decided to release my top ten movies of the year.

The Academy does not send me free screeners. I am just your average movie-loving normal person. I actually go out and SEE movies, or rent them. And I managed to find 10 good enough to make a list! Imagine if I was invited to premieres and received them free in the mail! Get off your duffs, Academy members! Check these out, anyway...

These are in no particular order, after the first three... It's just too hard. And my criteria, which I learned from my friend Josh Larsen (check out his list here) is does this film make me feel something? Does it stay with me after I have left the theater?

1. The Hurt Locker: The first war movie to really engage me, about a bomb diffuser who can't quite tone it down at the end of the day. On the edge of my seat from start to finish.

2. (500) Days of Summer: Joseph Gordon Levitt and Zooey Deschenal in a one-sided love story so real you'd swear they peeked in your windows. You may need a hug when it's over. Everybody's been through this.

3. Watchmen: Screw "The Dark Knight" (yeah, I said it). This film, based on a landmark graphic novel, gives us a peek at what the world might look like if there really were masked heroes. Who would want the job? Be careful what you wish for.

Inglorious Bastards: Quentin Tarantino's usual brand of insanity - this time contemplating a world where the Jews had defeated the Nazis. Audacious doesn't begin to cover it.

Up: Pixar never leaves home without the whole bag of tricks, but I would pay special attention to the way this film treats the lifetime love affair of Mr. and Mrs. Fredericksen. The short, silent montages of their relationship are more romantic and fulfilling than most of what passes for movie romances today.

Fantastic Mr. Fox: Simply the funniest, most surprising film to come from the mind of Wes Anderson (with some help from Roald Dahl). So light on its feet, and hysterically funny.

Up in the Air: You've heard it all, so I'll be brief. Watch the wedding scene and tell me that Jason Reitman is not on his way to becoming one of the great American film directors of the 2000s. Go ahead. I'll wait.

District 9: A sweet but bumbling civil servant (Sharlto Copley) walks into an alien slum known as District 9, and changes everything he and the world knows about these misunderstood "prawns." A dizzyingly original, thought-provoking picture, "District 9" will stay with long past its final heartbreaking image.

Where the Wild Things Are: Spike Jonze's underappreciated gem based on Maurice Sendak's classic book reflects the chaos of childhood and what it really means to be a wild thing at 9 years old. Does the fact that it connected with adults more than kids say more about them or about us?

Away We Go: As a vagabond young couple about to face parenthood, John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph give out-of-nowhere performances in Sam Mendes' funny, surprising journey about what a family is.

It's Golden Globes time again!

2010-01-17T18:57:00.043-06:00

Tonight, Golden Globes night, it had the nerve to rain, and all the stars were very, very brave about walking around in it and not complaining too much. There should be special awards just for that.

The Red Carpet is done and it's time for the first big award show of the year - the Golden Globes! As the show begins, I am becoming increasingly aware of NBC's crappy lineup. No wonder I only turn it on on Thursdays.

Ricky Gervais immediately lit into Steve Carell, so the night is off to a good start.

First award of the night: Best Supporting Actress - film: Mo'Nique ("Precious")

Best Actress in a Comedy - television: Toni Collette ("United States of Tara"). Tina Fey losing to "Glee" chick, OK, (even though I don't watch "Glee"). This, oh, come on! NO ONE WATCHES THIS SHOW!

Best Supporting Actor - television: John Lithgow ("Dexter"). A little reality sinks in as Lithgow thanks Michael C. Hall, who recently announced he has cancer.

Paul McCartney introduces the Best Animated Feature Film category with some genuinely funny banter. "Up" wins.

Kate Hudson looks like a cake wreck. And even though her film ("Nine") is supposed to be terrible, why is it I still REALLY want to see it?

Oh Ricky, you are such a loveable brat. I love you, anyway. Good God, Felicity Huffman has gotten so much less cool since got on "Desperate Housewives," that now she can't even read?

Best Actor in a Drama - television: Michael C. Hall ("Dexter")

Best Actress in a Drama - television: Julianna Margulies ("The Good Wife")

Boy, how cheeseball does that "Extraordinary Measures" movie look? Does Harrison Ford need to get out of the house THAT badly? It looks like Lifetime movie, at best.

Let me get this straight. CHER thinks Ricky Gervais is being tacky. Okee dokee.

Best original song - motion picture: "The Weary Kind," T-Bone Burnett and Ryan Bingham

Best original score - motion picture: "Up," Michael Giacchino

Every time I see a Luke Wilson AT&T commercial, I am just so very sad for him. Is he supposed to be a movie actor? Also, I don't care how many times you say "The Marriage Ref" is produced by Jerry Seinfeld, it's still reality trash.

Best Miniseries: "Grey Gardens." This drove me nuts at the Emmys too. No one saw this! No one cares about the eccentric unknown relatives of the Kennedys.

Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy - film: Meryl Streep ("Julie & Julia") She looks really pretty tonight. She was really delightful as Julia Child, too.

Best Actor - miniseries: Kevin Bacon ("Taking Chance")

Best Actress - miniseries: Drew Barrymore ("Grey Gardens"). What a charmer.

Best Screenplay - motion picture: Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner ("Up in the Air"). What was the deal with that woman married to Ivan Reitman?

Best actor in a comedy or musical - television: Alec Baldwin ("30 Rock")

Best Foreign Film: "The White Ribbon"

Best drama series - television: "Mad Men." Peggy looks hot! This is a big award for so early in the night it seems.

OMG it's Taylor! TEAM JACOB!!! (That is for my niece Lauren) I could hardly love Joseph Gordon Levitt more. Isn't he adorable?

Best supporting actress - television: Chloe Sevigny ("Big Love") I do not like this woman. OMG Playtone?!? Did we know Tom Hanks produced this show?

Best supporting actor - film: Christoph Waltz ("Inglorious Basterds"). He seems like such a sweet, non-evil man.

I think Robert DeNiro just went off the teleprompter. It's during the part about Martin Scorsese having sex with film. Scorsese is being presented with the Cecil B. DeMille award.

Best director: James Cameron. Come on, say "Eywa has heard you!" He's kinda downplaying it. He is freaking speaking Na'vi though, which is so James Cameron! He'll never stop being James Cameron! His wife is a skeleton, by the way, yuck.

Best TV show: "Glee." OK, "Glee" is about the importance of arts education? That's like "The Office" being about Human Resource training. FAIL

Ah Mike Tyson, that loveable rapist! Maybe I'm the only one who remembers this...

Best Musical or Comedy - film: "The Hangover." Golden Globe-winning comedy "The Hangover." It was a really funny film.

Did Arnold just say "This is Avada"? What is Avada?

Ricky Gervais is afraid of Mickey Rourke!

Best Actress in a drama - film: Sandra Bullock ("The Blind Side"). She first took a swipe at Ricky Gervais for making a joke about the awards being bought off. It kind of made the rest of what she said sound a little less sincere.

Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical - film: Robert Downey Jr. ("Sherlock Holmes") "First I'd like to thank Susan Downey for telling me Matt Damon was going to win and not to bother to prepare a speech." I couldn't type fast enough, but look up his speech on youtube. My God, could I love him more?

Best Actor in Drama - film: Jeff Bridges ("Crazy Heart")

Best Drama - film: "Avatar" "Eywa has heard you!" Please say it this time! Just give it up for yourselves? Really, James? I think I'd rather you spoke Na'vi.

Ricky got some good shots in, although most of the people as expected, were not very good sports. I was a little surprised "Avatar" did as well as it did. It did not seem like an awards-y kind of film.
And I still wish James Cameron had said "Ewya has heard you."

The 'Lost' Supper

2010-01-05T11:14:00.004-06:00

OK "Lost" fans, here we go. One month to go, and it's getting serious. I saw this done for "Battlestar Gallactica" too. Clearly Locke is the diety, but what else do we know? In the original Judas is on the left, and the reactions of the disciples are important. What does this tell us about the end of the series?

Let's speculate, Losties!

"Lost" returns at 8 p.m. Feb. 2 on ABC!

Do I have to remind you guys it's only a movie?

2009-12-20T19:15:00.008-06:00

Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) and Jake (Sam Worthington) in "Avatar."
It appears when you are James Cameron, there's only one way it's gonna go. Of course, the guy didn't help himself by declaring himself "The king of the world!" with an armful of awards when his last movie swept the 1998 Oscars. There's gonna be a backlash, and it's gonna happen before your movie even comes out.
Because of this kind of thing, I was a willing participant in the pre-release anti-"Avatar" bandwagon. After all, the first trailer didn't give us much of a clue as to what the film was about, and ended up bearing a more than casual resemblance to a dismal animated film called "Delgo." Check it out on Youtube sometime (it won't stay up here). It's eerie.
Then there was the hype itself. "The first fully animated characters ever featured in a live action film." Um, are you kidding? You're gonna hang your movie on a Jar Jar Binks? Good luck with that.
Fast forward to a couple months later, and the reviews started coming out. And they were good. My friend Josh Larsen at larsenonfilm.com gave it 3 and a half stars, and he was as skeptical as I was (check his review out here). An 83% on Rotten Tomatoes. The same on Metacritic. Big budget action movies by popular guys like James Cameron don't usually do this well. So pretty soon I was done making fun and fully in the "OK, I'm checking it out" crowd.
"Avatar" is an astonishingly rich film, one that needs to be experience in a theater. The visuals are gorgeous, and it must be said immediately, the Na'vi are not Jar Jar Binks. But there is much more to this film than pretty pictures, although they are beautiful. The story is better than average for a film like this, which is admirable. So often the plot gets lost with science fiction and fantasy. Clearly this film was a labor of love for Cameron, who wrote it and spent many years on it, and he should be proud. It was also nice to see something that Cameron has always featured in his films, strong female characters, in particular Neytiri (Zoe Saldana), the Na-vi heroine.
The story is a classic one about an indigenous population and what happens when it is found that they have something valuable on their land. And that's where my headline comes in.
In the past week I have read everything from this movie being an inexcusable example of white guilt to it anti-American. What it is, is a movie, and a good one, with a good story, fantastic visuals and a nice message.
Let's not get all riled up now. Let's just have a little fun.

FlashForward - an exercise in tedium

2009-11-29T20:21:00.006-06:00

Bryce, back from Japan

This fall I was looking forward to three heavily hyped dramas - ABC's "V" and "FlashForward" and AMC's miniseries "The Prisoner."
All have been huge disappointments, but "FlashForward" has been the most frustrating, because at least "V" and "The Prisoner" had the decency to end - "V" until March, anyway.
If you have not seen "FlashForward" - first, good decision. It is about the consequences of a worldwide event in which virtually everyone blacks out for two and a half minutes and flashes forward to April 29. You would think a phenomena like this would be enough for plenty of drama - how did it happen? What are the ramifications of such an event? - but sadly, too often this show focuses on mundane daily events in the characters' lives in a maddening way, or takes stupifying leaps of logic.
"The Prisoner" and "V" suffered the same fate - one of having a wonderful premise (in the case of "The Prisoner" an excellent show had already been made) and botching it in mind-blowing ways. This column will focus on "FlashForward."
This plotline, from the Nov. 19 episode, is typical of this show's complete lack of continuity. A minor character from the show, Bryce (Zachary Knighton), was revealed to have cancer for the first time.
Never mind that the show has been airing for around two months now, and all everyone does is talk about what happened to them before and after their flashforwards, when they aren't whining about their relationships. The fact that millions died on that day and no one spends a second mourning any of them is only one of the many annoying things about this program that I now suspect is written by teenagers undergoing ADD treatment.
Anyway, back to Bryce. Though Bryce discussed his suicide attempt, which occurred during the blackout, extensively with his friend Olivia (Sofia Walger), he has never mentioned the cancer. Why? Who knows? Anyway, now it's all he talks about, so he suddenly becomes obsessed with finding this Japanese woman. We also see Japanese woman's story.
The Japanese woman's deal is basically this - she starts out as this brilliant engineer and her flashforward shows her with Bryce. He is obsessed with finding her because she is happy and pretty and it proves he is still alive on April 29 (the date of everyone's flashforwards). She doesn't care about finding him, only about getting away from her job, which turns out to be boring.
In one insufferable scene, he goes to Japan to find her because he finds out that her T-shirt reveals where she likes to eat, and it's a small restaurant, and meanwhile she decides to shake the dust off this Japanese life and flees to - wait for it - America.
Do these two idiots really deserve to find each other? This kind of stuff happens all the time on this show, where people seem to have lost all their sense during their blackouts.
By the end of the show we still haven't seen how they hook up in the flashforward. They haven't met. It would be typical of the show to just drop their storyline all together.
Another problem is the show has a wonderful cast - Joseph Fiennes, John Cho, Sofia Walger and Dominic Monaghan from "Lost" - all charasmatic actors who are awful here. It's not their fault. They have nothing to work with almost all the time.
I bet you have figured out the most irritating thing of all. I am still watching.

I (heart) this boy

2009-11-22T16:49:00.003-06:00

Joseph Gordon-Levitt...

... Makin' 'em laugh.

On a weekend that saw the world going cookoo for Cocoa Puffs for a bunch of pretty boys in "The Twilight Saga: New Moon," another boy captured my heart on "Saturday Night Live" by quite literally falling on his face.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, most recently of "(500) Days of Summer," went on "Saturday Night Live" and did a few things that you just cannot do if you want to escape my ardor.
First of all, he bounded out on that stage with so much enthusiasm, you might have just thought he was TRULY thrilled to be there. After the debacle that was the January Jones episode, just a week prior, it was like watching a different show. After saying the customary "I'm happy to be here" he proved it by admitting he's been contemplating a monologue since he found out he would be on the show two months ago.
What he decided on was a tribute to Donald O'Connor's number "Make 'em Laugh" from the classic 1952 musical "Singin' in the Rain." He nailed the number, and it was unlike anything I've seen on "SNL" in some time. If you hit the link above, you can watch it, too, and I recommend you do.
After that, the episode became more like a normal episode, with good and bad points. The "Palin 2012" was an unfunny attempt to do a Palin book joke. Surely there was something better. Kenan Thompson's "What's Up With That" is quickly becoming a hilarious new segment. The digital short featured Kenan Thompson, who had convinced Andy Samberg he was Reba McEntire by putting on a red wig and doing nothing else, was pretty good. There was more singing than usual overall, which I like.
There are always going to be people who say "SNL" is done, and I'm sure opening with a number from a 60-year-old musical will do little to change that opinion. But I thought it was pretty gutsy.

It's like 'Mad Men,' with consequences

2009-11-21T10:16:00.004-06:00

Where would Don Draper be without his drink and his smoke?

Last night I watched a movie which really got me thinking - "The Days of Wine and Roses." It was released in 1962, and stars Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick as a devoted married couple who also happen to be a devoted pair of alcoholics.
Watching it, I was struck again and again by how our culture downplays alcohol use and alcoholism.
Very few films deal so honestly with the horrors of alcoholism as this one. In one scene, Lemmon's Joe returns, drunk, from a party and shames Remick's Kirsten for no longer drinking with him. Kirsten, who is nursing their baby at the time, pleads that the doctor says it will get in her breast milk and Joe spits at her "you're going to lose your shape" and other cruel comments until she reluctantly drinks.
In another Joe is so desperate for a drink that he tears apart his father in law's greenhouse looking for a bottle he stashed there. As he whines, "he stole it, he stole it," it's hard to look at him, he is so pathetic.
I couldn't help but think of Betty Draper from "Mad Men," sitting there glamorously with her cigarette and glass of wine, pregnant and then with baby Gene, or Don, coolly sipping his scotch, never seeming to get very drunk. Sure, their characters are not supposed to be a full blown alcoholics, but the relationship with alcohol for the characters on "Mad Men" is almost played for laughs on the show, and this movie takes place at the exact same era. It's almost as if 40 years of culture enlightenment have left us more in the dark as to how to deal with alcoholism.
Freddy Rumsen, the one character on "Mad Men" who was singled out as having an alcohol problem, was played off as a joke. Meanwhile, the other characters clearly use alcohol to hide from their problems, especially Betty, who drank to excess constantly while pregnant this season, and it is not addressed at all. Was it really that normal? In the film, Joe was fired from his job, and he and Kirsten lost everything because of their alcoholism.
I love "Mad Men," but it's clearly supposed to be a cool show. And whether we like to admit it or not, we certainly live in a culture that treats adults who don't drink as weirdos. I'm just raising a question.

My name is Wendy and I like "Modern Family"

2009-11-15T14:28:00.001-06:00

A TV family that doesn't make you wince, ABC's "Modern Family."

It's about time I came out and admitted something that I have been keeping from even my best friends - I LOVE the new ABC comedy "Modern Family."
It doesn't look like my kind of show. It's traditional family sitcom, although blessedly laugh-track free. And even when I saw the promotional pictures in Entertainment Weekly, I made a face. It looked like the typical family sitcom stacked with smart-ass kids, cynical parents who hated each other. Plus it stars Ed O'Neill. You know. "Married with Children"? Ugh.
"Modern Family" is not that. It started showing up on all the TV critics lists as one of the top shows of the year, so I thought I'd check it out, and it turns out, it's my favorite new show of the year.
And best of all, it's popular! I can't tell you how many times I love a new show, and it's the first one to get canceled. It took years before anyone else I knew was watching "Mad Men" except my husband, so I am used to being alone on these things. But this show is being written and talked about all the time. And it's damn funny. My whole family watches and enjoys this show. And here's why:
1) It's not just funny, it's sweet. But it's really funny. Although we have a debate about clueless dad Phil (played by Ty Burrell) nearly every week, he is the best character on the show. His idea of keeping up with the times is understanding that LOL means laugh out loud, and then adds WTF means "why the face."
2) It's loaded with TV veterans who have deserved a better show. Julie Bowen (most recently of "Lost" in a small part as Jack's wife), Jesse Tyler Ferguson of CBS' "The Class," Sofia Vergara of ABC's "The Knights of Prosperity," as well as Burrell of FOX's "Back to You", and it could even be argued O'Neill, who recently told EW this was the first show he was in where when people said "I love your show" he was actually proud instead of wanting to reply "really? Why?"
3) It's one of the rare shows that I like that doesn't require a lot of thought or attention, but it's still worth watching, and I even look forward to it. Like "The New Adventures of Old Christine," "The Simpsons," "The Office," "How I Met Your Mother" and "30 Rock," it's one of a number of half-hour comedies that I tune into weekly and truly enjoy. Take that, those who insist the sitcom is dead. And unlike "FlashForward" and "V," two of the most overhyped shows of the year, this show is delivering, every time. I'd love it if you checked it out - because I said so.

'A Christmas Carol' wants you to know it's time to start buying stuff

2009-11-07T14:11:00.005-06:00

Jim Carrey looks mad!

I went to see "A Christmas Carol" in 3D today and I am shocked to report it is not the worst movie ever. My son does mini-reviews for the local paper so I went in with him, my other son and their friend, who all were excited, with as much enthusiasm as I usually approach root canals and mammograms.
This movie had a lot going against it. First, is it based on a beloved tale which has already had several - not one but SEVERAL - distinctive definitive movie versions made of it already. It also features director Robert Zemeckis' latest attempt to force that creepy "realistic" animation on everyone, which manages to make people look like dead-eyed robots.
Why anyone has embraced these films is beyond me, but his previous movies featuring this technique, "The Polar Express" and "Beowulf," did well enough I guess. "Polar" was a big hit anyway. When "Beowulf" did not connect, I guess they decided, stick with Christmas. People like Christmas.
The movie is too dull for too long, but it takes a sudden and bizarre turn while Scrooge is talking to the Ghost of Christmas Present. It starts to get kind of weird, and this is where it becomes an interesting adaptation. Even the grotesqueness of the animation is useful here, as things we have seen and read again and again, like the servants picking over Scrooge's clothes, take on a new life.
Sadly, it doesn't last long, and then it's back to boredom. The Cratchits in particular suffer from from the terrible animation, which takes all the heart out of the exchanges between the parents (some of the best dialogue in the story).
It's sad when the very best thing about the moviegoing experience is the trailer to Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland," which will also be in 3D. Now, THAT made me gasp.

What you really need to know before you see "Transformers"

2009-06-28T14:20:00.005-05:00

Since my only "readers" are my friends, and most of my friends will never see "Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen," I thought I would entertain you with the more hilarious parts of the movie. I am not sure any of these were intended to be hilarious, since I am relatively sure that director Michael Bay thinks everything he does is AWESOME, including taking a pee.

1) Rainn Wilson is featured as a sexually aggressive college professor who wears a scarf. In his scene, which like everything in this movie, seems to last forever, he takes a bite out of an apple, lets it drop to the floor and suggests that one of his adoring "fans," a gaggle of hotties who hang on his every word, "finish it" for him. If there was a an Oscar for most misplaced cameo in a motion picture, Wilson would walk off with it, and I am sure he would enjoy every second of it.

2) Speaking of those hotties, Bay takes his objectification of women to new heights in this movie, even sexualizing Sam's (Shia LaBeouf's) MOM, during a campus visit, which again, is endless, considering this is a movie about transforming robots, and none of the bots are even in the college scenes. After a student gives Mom some pot-laced brownies, she trips around campus and ends up led away by Sam's dad. Is it Sam or Shia, who recently confessed to Playboy that he is in love with his own mother, who doesn't seem to care that his mother is tripping her brains out all over campus?

3) One more thing about the women. There is a female Decepticon and when she is revealed, it's about as subtle as something out of Pink Floyd's "The Wall." As she mounts Sam, her Decepticon tail first comes out of her back, revealing her still-hot body and perfect rear end, but she is interrupted. A couple seconds later, it emerges from a her tongue! It's the most obvious case of misogyny since Robert Rodriguez put the vampire monster head on Salma Hayek's still-hot body in "From Dusk 'til Dawn," and yes, I hated that too. At least that was rated R, though. This is a movie for 6-ear-olds? Why are my first 3 items about sex?

4) Yes, as you have heard on NPR, there are two bots called Skids and Mudflap, and it is exactly like having TWO Jar-Jar Binks in your movie. They are given way too much screen time, their "riffing" is nails-on-the-chalkboard irritating, they are never around during the action (suggesting no real purpose), and your innocent kids will think they are funny. Mine did, anyway. I did not see the gold tooth, but all the rest is true, unfortunately, and it is painful.

5) The whole thing reeks of an indulgent Hollywood system. Couldn't someone have suggested that we didn't really need to see the racist stereotypes for 20 minutes? Or the long college scenes? I watched "Synedoche, New York" the same night, a movie I had been warned repeatedly by my good friend and great critic Josh Larsen not to watch if I was in a depressed state, because I was depressed about the state of movies. It cheered me up.

10 years of new "Star Wars" movies!

2009-05-31T16:00:00.003-05:00

Remember when no one had heard of Jar Jar Binks? When there was no chance getting caught in a conversation with some jerk who would go on and on about George Lucas doing weird things to your childhood?
It was about 10 years ago, and 10 years ago this weekend "Star Wars: Episode One - The Phantom Menace" was released in theaters. I still have such fond memories of this movie and taking our five-year-old Eric to see it. Finally, I would not only be able to see a new "Star Wars" movie, but introduce my child to it as well!
As the lights dimmed and the familiar "a long time ago in a galaxy far far away ..." flashed on the screen, it brought a tear to my eye.
And yes, there were things wrong with the prequels, particularly "Episode II," but there were great moments too, plenty of them. The lightsaber duel between Obi Wan, Qui-Gon and Darth Maul at the end is still one of the best "Star Wars" fights ever. I still prefer to think of the fond memories with my kids - and honestly - myself, enjoying those new movies in a way that a movie like "Fanboys" could never hope to capture.
May the force by with you.

’12 Rounds’ and the Cousins o’ Kunka

2009-03-28T14:13:00.003-05:00

I have never met Daniel Kunka. But that barely mattered Friday night when my 15-year-old son, Eric, myself, and about 50 of his closer relatives crowded the Loews Woodridge theater lobby for champagne, photos and laughs to celebrate the release of the movie “12 Rounds,” which Kunka wrote. By the time the evening was over, I felt pretty close to him.
Kunka’s story is one you can’t help but root for – a 30-year-old South Sider’s first screenplay, a WWE fan whose film stars WWE star John Cena, a humble guy whose father describes the thrill he felt at having his film debut at Mann’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood.
Friday night was all about supporting Daniel from halfway across the country – and it started early. From my desk I had to laugh as I read the Facebook updates from “Cousin O’Kunka,” but I was admittedly a bit concerned about the planned tailgate. A tailgate at a movie theater? It sounded a little dangerous, but also fitting for a WWE movie, to be honest. It went off without a hitch; they even played bags.
When my aunt arrived with a bottle of champagne, I thought, “this is it, they’ve gone too far,” but she promptly charmed the burly manager, and soon the adults were sipping champagne from tiny plastic medicine cups.
But we weren’t there just to drink and play bags. There was a movie to see.
As a writer I got my own little personal joy from clapping when the writer’s name came up in the opening credits. This should definitely happen more often.
Daniel’s father had patiently and meticulously explained over and over the scene that the parents appear in (many of us still managed to miss it, maybe it was the eyedropper of champagne?) and held court in the lobby, beaming with the kind of pride that only the proudest of parents can feel. His mother was quieter, and let Dad do the talking. When their big moment on screen arrived, he whispered afterward in awe “that was it.”
The movie itself was a thriller, a story about a decent policeman who is haunted with guilt after accidentally killing a criminal’s girl while arresting him. Still, when the bad guy breaks out of prison, all he wants is revenge. It is one of those films that keeps putting the good guy in impossible situations, and just when you think he is going to be all right, something happens to mess things up for him. You really want him to win, especially since the bad guy is going to kill the hero’s pretty wife.
During the movie, I started thinking about box office and business, and what Daniel’s future may hold. Occupational hazard, I guess (I’m an entertainment editor by trade). Renny Harlin is a big-time director, and the WWE seems like a prosperous company to hitch one’s wagon to, but there had been no advance screening. Still, there were a lot of commercials, which means there was a big marketing push. He’s probably got a pretty good chance at a decent career.
The evening ended with a group photo, and I was astounded as to how many people were in it. I knew we took over the theater, I just didn’t realize to what extent. I found myself thinking of another movie line, one focusing on one of the more important things in life. “To Daniel Kunka, the richest man in town!”

81st Academy Awards

2009-02-22T19:22:00.035-06:00

We're still in our preshow "bitch, please" segment. My husband is now telling me that Penelope Cruz sometimes looks like a boy (uh, not tonight she don't), and Anne Hathaway often does not look good on the red carpet (also, not tonight). I yelled "who is good enough for you?" and he answered "YOU!" Oh.

Jack Black! AAH! I didn't think I'd get to see him tonight. Could they have made it a little more obvious he was not a big priority for them? I love you Jack, and I always will, and I don't care that you never comb your hair.

Marisa Tomei is wearing three dresses that have been maybe stapled together. No clothes in the movie, three dresses to the Awards.

If anyone did not like the opening number that Hugh Jackman did kindly keep it to yourselves because it was an utter delight. Have a sense of humor.

Best Supporting Actress: "Penelope Cruz"

I love how she says "Woody." She thanked Pedro Almodovar. Awwww.

Tina Fey and Steve Martin are a good team.

Best orginal screenplay: Dustin Lance Black "Milk"

Sweet speech. The politcs of this film seem to be its trump card, as my friend Josh Larsen predicted.

Best adapted screenplay: Simon Beaufoy "Slumdog Millionaire." And the race is on.

Jack Black, squee!

We have a family joke about "Space Chimps" and let's just say, Jack is very annoyed right now.

Best animated feature: "Wall E"

Nice cut from Jennifer Aniston to Brad and Angelina's reaction. Stay classy, Oscar cameramen.

Best Short Animated Feature: La Maison en Petits Cubes" Kunio Katô Aw I was rooting for the other one. Did he just say Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto? I believe he did.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Daniel Craig landed the plum presenting gig, if one like to be on stage for a long time.

Best Art Direction: "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Donald Graham Burt, Victor J. Zolfo

Best Costume Design: "The Duchess" Michael O'Connor

Best Make Up: "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Greg Cannom

And now, YOUNG PEOPLE PLEASE TUNE IN! It's Edward! and I still think Wall E and Eve might be the most romantic couple at the movies last year.

Ben Stiller is doing the Joaquin Phoenix thing with Natalie Portman. She looks pretty. What is everyone going to do when he comes back? Well, this is awkward.

Best Cinematograghy: Anthony Dod Mantle

James Franco and Seth Rogen laughing through "The Reader" and "Doubt" = AWESOME.
Janusz Kaminski holding his Oscars and watching "Zohan" "I liked this movie" = possibly MORE awesome.
Then Kaminski comes on and says "suck it, Anthony Dod Mantle!" Someone will write a column about how undignified this is tomorrow. I want to know why they still even present best short film during the show. No one cares. I mean they sure dispatched the geek awards quickly enough this year.

Best Short Film, Live Action: "Spielzeugland" Jochen Alexander Freydank

John is sitting next to me clearing his throat every five seconds, but I like musicals, so he can suck it.

This is really neat, having the former winners come out and say nice things about the nominees. It gives both their moments.

Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger "The Dark Knight"

His parents and brother are accepting. Everyone is pretty moved by this moment.

Best Documentary: "Man on Wire"

I think that's the first time a documentary winner was so entertaining. The Man on Wire of "Man on Wire" did TWO magic tricks!

Best Documentary, Short Subject: "Smile Pinki"

I am officiallly getting a little tired.

Will Smith just said he prefers that have fans.

Best Visual Effects: "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton, Craig Barron

I was just checking a name spelling and you know what the number one movie this weekend is? "Madea Goes to Jail"? How much money did it make? $41 million!

Will Smith said "Boom goes the dynamite"! Some guys at my office are going to find this hilarious.

Best Sound Editing: "The Dark Knight" Richard King

Best Achievement of Sound: "Slumdog Millionaire" Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke, Resul Pookutty

Best Achievement in Editing: "Slumdog Millionaire" Chris Dickens

Eddie Murphy looks like he's still pretty mad he didn't win for "Dreamgirls" as he introduced Jerry Lewis.

Best Original Score: "Slumdog Millionaire" A.R. Rahman

When all the music is played like that, it really shows how boring most movie scores are.

Best Original Song: "Jai Ho" A.R. Rahman, Sampooran Singh Gulzar

I wonder how many people woke up because of those giant "Slumdog" drums. On another note, I don't remember the last time there were three such great songs nominated for Oscars.

I'm going to put Freida Pinto's picture here, because I love her blue dress, and she and Liam Neeson presented this award.

Best Foreign Language Film: "Departures" Japan

No one is clapping for any of the dead people this year. Harsh. Well, Paul Newman got a hand.

Best Director: Danny Boyle "Slumdog Millionaire"

One down, one to go! He jumped up and down like Tigger. I agree with him, it is a very nice show. Did you heard what happened with this movie? It was almost never released! Can you believe it now?

It's weird every year to realize who has won Oscars. Oscar winner Reese Witherspoon, for instance.

Best Actress: Kate Winslet "The Reader"

Halle Berry is so ugly, isn't she? I mean, why does she even get out of bed? And Sophia Loren, who are you kidding? this is just a stage full of ugmos, isn't it? (In the words of Homer Simpson, in case you don't realize it, I am BEING sarcastic!) I'll be honest, I didn't at all care for this film, and the other film Kate did this year, but I love her as an actress and think she is very deserving of this recognition.

Best Actor: Sean Penn "Milk"

I think Sean Penn's had a little work done. And I think DeNiro wrote what he said about Sean Penn.

Best Picture: "SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE"! The kids are on the stage. This pleases me.

Hugh was a great host, the stage was cool, and the show ended in about the same time as ever. But I predict a bunch of articles tomorrow saying he sang too much and the show was too long. Weber out!

2009 Film Independent Spirit Awards

2009-02-21T16:00:00.021-06:00

First off, the name of this show is always like "Film Independent Spirit blah blah blah" ....

Ben Stiller looks cute with more hair. More hair for Ben Stiller. Steve Coogan starts out pointing it really bothers Ben Stiller that he is only the third biggest star in the world. Already better than last year's endless Rainn Wilson and Dennis Hopper weirdness.

James Franco, sigh.

Nice one: Woody Allen's "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" brought a new category, "Best Girl on Girl Action Disguised as Art."

"Man on Wire" would have been better if he had fallen at the end.

Cut to Lucy Lui with a giant bottle of Jameson in front of her. Party!

Funny bit about Steve Coogan running into Jonathan Demme in Whole Foods and imitating Hannibal Lecter. I bet that happens to him all the time.

People are seriously more dressed up this year. They used wear jeans and stuff.

More James Franco. Could he be nominated in every category? He is so cute! OK, that kid is "Ballast" was awesome, but I am still glad Franco won.

Best supporting actor: James Franco "Milk"

Ben Kingsley and Mary Kate Olsen could have used a screenplay - and some acting lessons - for their best first screenplay award presentation. They were not believeable as humans. And could this be the last time we hear of the existance of "The Wackness"? People said "Milk" was "awfully gay"? Come on!

Best first screenplay: Dustin Lance Black "Milk"

That "Afterschool" movie looked seriously messed up.

Does anyone get the feeling Aaron Eckhart could have worn a bathrobe and looked as good?

Best first feature: "Synedoche, New York" Charlie Kaufman

Charlie Kaufman is a hilariously strange person who would probably be awful to know in real life.

I would think the Independent Spirit Awards is the one place we wouldn't have to see Jessica Alba. Chiwetel Ejiofor, there's a tall drink of water, though.

Best supporting female: Penelope Cruz "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"

"They told me to swear a lot." You do that, Penelope. She then told an awesome story about Woody Allen going to the dermatologist the day she was kissing Scarlett Johansson.

Ugh, they brought back the parody songs from last year. I was really hoping they would not. I rememeber vividly the "Diving Bell and the Butterfly" song from last year. "I can't feel my toes and I can't feel my nose..." FAIL.

Ack! Mickey Rourke just flipped off the camera!

John Cassavates Award: "In Search of a Midnight Kiss"

Nice hooker outfit, Sandra Oh

First f-bombs, 50 minutes in. Six in one speech.

Phew, "Rachel Getting Married" got to have a real song, by Robyn Hitchcock no less. Lucky them. Note to 2009 films, always have music.

Note to anyone who hasn't seen "Rachel Getting Married," it features the coolest wedding ever. Everyone's wedding is lame next to this film.

Oh dear, we appear to have another attempt at a joke. "Joaquin Phoenix" and "Christian Bale." Decent line: "You look like a homeless munchkin!"

Best documentary: "Man on Wire." The documentary winner did not look amused at the intro team.

Jason Bateman and Ellen Page should go out on the road because they are just so damn cute together.

Tarra Riggs looks GORGEOUS.

Best female lead: Melissa Leo "Frozen River"

Melissa Leo's hairstyle and outfit had better be totally different at the Oscars tomorrow or the fashionistas are going to eat her alive. OH MY GOD THOSE GLASSES! IS SHE A SHUT IN? WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH HER? Her speech was sweet and all, but still THOSE GLASSES! MY EYES!

These parody songs are just so undignified. During the one for "Wendy and Lucy," Michelle Williams just looks confused. You aren't the only one, Michelle.

Claire Danes looks mean. Be honest. She looks mean. I bet she yelled at John C. Reilly backstage.

Who is this douche next to the winner of the Someone to Watch Award?

Producers Award: "Frozen River"

Truer Than Fiction Award: "The Order of Myths"

Man, Bradley Cooper is handsome.

Best Screenplay Award: Woody Allen, "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"

Rosie Perez just said "I just want to say I hate Penelope Cruz." She then called what she had to read corny. I love these dresses with pockets. They rock.

Best foreign film: "The Class"

Best cinematography: "The Wrestler"

Darren Aronofsky is suck a loveable dork.

Robert Altman Award: "Synedoche, New York"

During "The Wrestler" parody song, they did not get anywhere near Mickey Rourke. I am just trying to imagine the threats. Earlier they showed him writing the name of his dog who just died on the wall.

Best male lead: Mickey Rourke "The Wrestler"

Hey Phillip Seymour Hoffman, the hat, not working. However Mickey is a snappy dresser. His speech starts out talking about how Eric Roberts deserves a second chance, then said he's going to beat Rainn Wilson's ass, and then he finally gets to his speech. The audience yelled to him to thank Marisa Tomei. "Thanks to the wrestling community. We exposed some issues, like bangin' the girl in the a** in the bathroom ..."

Ugh. Then right after John Waters and Zooey Deschanel came on and did stupid banter they were WAY TOO INTO.

Best directing award: Tom McCarthy "The Visitor"

Kudos, Alec Baldwin. "I want back into the movie business so bad. I'm going to get a dog, start working out, and I want to second, whatever Eric Roberts did 15 years ago, let it go!"

Best feature: "The Wrestler"

Hopefully, Mickey Rourke, who is so happy he just picked up Darren Aronofsky, is too happy to beat up Alec Baldwin later.

We can be “Heroes,” but just for one day?

2009-02-03T16:20:00.005-06:00

At least we still have Hiro

When “Heroes” started two years ago, I was pretty excited about a live-action, network show about superheroes. I don’t know what I expected, and I still don’t. But I know I expected more than the show as is. Sometimes I think its companion, “Chuck,” is a better superhero show.
Last night, “Heroes’” latest chapter, “Fugitives,” started, and while it was better than the season two I’ll never get over, it was still below expectations. “Heroes” has simply never been as good as its first season, although at least its last chapter, “Villains,” was an improvement over the dreaded season that must not be named.
What’s the problem? On the surface, not that much. Many of the most problematic characters have either been purged (goodbye Wonder twins!) or their roles have been diminished (please let a side effect of the new world order be the banishment of voiceovers by Mohinder forever). Last night, Hiro and Ando had banter, and Sylar kicked some ass. Nathan was bad and Niki was naked.
But then Peter forgot he could fly, on a plane no less. Or maybe he lost the ability to fly? And HRG turned out to be the head of the baddies? And the guards on the plane were the worst henchmen since that stormtrooper who hit his head in the Death Star in Episode IV (classic moment, if you’ve never noticed it. It’s the scene where C3PO and R2D2 are hiding out in the little control room waiting for Han and Luke).
I’m … worried.

Can't keep up with 'Lost'?

2009-01-24T21:17:00.001-06:00

This is all you need to know.

How is this that Jorge Garcia has not even been nominated for an Emmy yet?

Isn't this what American Idol is really about?

2009-01-14T12:19:00.003-06:00

Last night, on the premiere of "American Idol," Ryan Seacrest high fived a blind auditioner. And isn't that what this show is all about -- people making fools of themselves? In this case, it was Ryan, most of the time it's Paula or the contestants, but isn't that really why we still watch "Idol" in its eighth season? I mean, is any one out there still taking this seriously as a way to choose new talent, after all the fixed contestants and top 10s featuring people who can barely carry a tune? Here's the moment from last night's show that everyone wants to see.

"American Idol" continues tonight on Fox from 7 to 9 p.m.

Revolutionary Road vs. Mad Men

2009-01-12T08:00:00.004-06:00

WARNING: SPOILER SPOILER BIG FAT SPOILER. If you have not seen "Revolutionary Road" yet, though I recommend against it, do not read this post, as I give away major plot points. This is not intended as a review of "Revolutionary Road," only a comparison of it to the stellar AMC drama "Mad Men."

While I was suffering through the overrated drama "Revolutionary Road" the other day, I was thinking about AMC's "Mad Men."
Now "Mad Men" gets more than its share of accolades, so this is not a question of "Mad Men" being underrated or anything. But I could not believe how "Revolutionary Road" botched a subject "Mad Men" tackles so well, and with such a great cast to boot.
I'll have to revisit "American Beauty" to be sure, but I think most of the blame must lie squarely at the feet of director Sam Mendes. Was "Beauty" this hamhanded, though? The major problem I found with "Road" is the need for it to scream its theme out to me to over and over, when "Men" has similar themes - marital discontent, midlife crisis - I mean don't most dramas have these themes without the need to broadcast them so obviously?
Take the character of the neighbor, played by Michael Shannon. There is no such character in "Mad Men," to show up at pivotal moments of the movie to tell us THIS MARRIAGE IS A FRAUD!!!, but we seem to get the point that Don (Jon Hamm) and Betty (January Jones) don't have it all together. "Road" would never have been content with the final scene of season two, which I will not give away, because I respect it too much. Suffice it to say it did not include a long voiceover to tell us what was going on in the character's heads, or a crazy man yelling it at us.
My colleague Josh Larsen of larsenonfilm.com noted when I finally got him to check out "Mad Men" that this was really a show about the women - and these were interesting, developed women. I can't even believe Kate Winslet took the part of April Wheeler, whose idea of true non-conformity is to move to Paris, where I can assure her, they have mortgages, boring neighbors and soccer games as well (only they call them football games). Maybe she was thinking once she got there Jack, er, Frank would just want to draw her naked all the time .... sorry, wrong movie.
If you thought "Revolutionary Road" was deep, check out "Mad Men" some time. It'll blow your mind.

Jack's back!

2009-01-11T19:40:00.009-06:00

Hurry Jack! There's not enough time!

"24" came back with a vengeance Sunday and I was surprised at how much I missed it, but the premiere was a reminder of what has always been the best thing about the show. Its ideals are like political comfort food.
In this case, Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) is pulled out of a Senate hearing on his torture methods to essentially do the same thing again. I mean, the agent he's with is begging him to torture a guy in minutes. Then there's the new president, played by character actress Cherry Jones. Her main plot involves stopping a genocide in Africa that bears a striking resemblance to Darfur. Yet, unlike our country, which has spent years arguing over the definition of the word genocide, this president is taking decisive action. Ahhhhh, that feels good....
Janeane Garofalo also joins the cast as an FBI agent who is kind of a Chloe type. She'll do for now, but we want the real thing asap.
Jack has finally found someone who listens to him, Agent Walker (Annie Wersching). He says "that's not the right call," and she actually listens! Who knows what'll come of this , but it's pretty exciting.
I don't know about that ending though. Tony Almeida (Carlos Bernard) kind of looked like a teenager who had just been grounded when he was glaring at Kiefer. "I'll teach you for taking away my xBox," he said with his eyes.

"24's" 2-night premiere continues Monday at 7 p.m. Central on Fox.

"Heroes" is back!

2008-09-21T19:36:00.002-05:00

After a shortened, and disappointing, second season, "Heroes" is back and better than ever with an hour of clips, and then a two-hour premiere Monday, starting at 7 p.m. on NBC. True, that's not saying much right now, but it's great to be able to say it at all.
We pick up season three after the shooting of Nathan Petrelli (and the video above is great help in bringing one up to speed on that score), but the first scene actually takes place 4 years in the future.
I assume you actually want to WATCH the show yourself, instead of having me recount it all here (don't you just hate when critics do that), so I am offering a SPOILER FREE ZONE here. All I will tell you are which characters return, and which ones have some good moments.
Overall the premiere is very exciting, but a little overstuffed with characters. Still, it was so great to see a major Hiro (Masi Oka) storyline, and that his old pal Ando (James Kyson Lee) is still with him. Nathan (Adrian Pasdar) and Peter (Milo Ventimiglia) also figure prominently, and Mama Petrelli (Christine Rose) stops by to share some of her wisdom. Matt Parkman (Greg Grunberg) is hanging around as well, but he is his usual useless self.
Claire (Hayden Panettierre) has a meeting with Sylar (Zachary Quinto) in her home that does not go very well for her. It's great to see Sylar back to normal; in my opinion the biggest problem with season two was the wasted time when Sylar temporarily lost his powers.
Dragging down the proceedings considerably is Mohinder (Sendhil Ramamurthy), who has teamed up with wonder twin Maya (Dania Ramirez). It seems that the only reason Mohinder is still around is to do those awful voiceovers at the beginning and end of each episode, and Maya, who knows what she's for. They're a good match for sure, each as boring as the other, but they get an unfortunate amount of screen time.
Niki (Ali Larter) is hanging around with another shadowy figure, and as usual, it's a little hard to figure out what she's up to. She's never been one of my favorite characters.
Hiro has a classic scene in his office which was by far my favorite moment of the premiere. See if you can guess which one it was. Almost as good is a goofy scene where Nathan undergoes some sort of, um, experience, I think, is the best word for it.
The ending is explosive, and surprising. Not even a hint will be offered here.

Fringe review

2008-09-16T04:23:00.002-05:00

I reviewed "Fringe" for The Naperville Sun. Although "Lost" is my favorite show, I found it a bit too sciencey and out there. Here is my review.

Here's a clip from "Fringe."

I'll give it a few more chances, but I expected it to be better out of the box.

True Blood

2008-09-07T11:08:00.002-05:00

I reviewed the HBO series for my job at the Naperville Sun. Here is my review.

Here is a clip of the show, which starts tonight.

More fall premiere dates: ABC, CBS, CW, FOX

2008-07-20T18:56:00.003-05:00

ABC

Friday, Sept. 19
9 p.m. "20/20"

Monday, Sept. 22
7 p.m. "Dancing with the Stars"
9 p.m. "Boston Legal"

Tuesday, Sept. 23
7 p.m. "Opportunity Knocks" (new)

Wednesday, Sept. 24
7 p.m. "Dancing with the Stars" results show

Thursday, Sept. 25
7 p.m. "Ugly Betty"
9 p.m. "Grey's Anatomy"

Sunday, Sept. 28
6 p.m. "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition"
8 p.m. "Desperate Housewives"
9 p.m. "Brothers & Sisters"

Tuesday, Sept. 30
8 p.m. "Dancing with the Stars" results show

Wednesday, Oct. 1
7 p.m. "Pushing Daisies"
8 p.m. "Private Practice"
9 p.m. "Dirty Sexy Money"

Friday, Oct. 3
7 p.m. "Wife Swap"
8 p.m. "Supernanny"

Sunday, Oct. 5
6 p.m. "America's Funniest Home Videos"

Monday, Oct. 6
7:30 p.m. "Samantha Who?"

Thursday, Oct. 9
8 p.m. "Life on Mars" (new)

Tuesday, Oct. 14
9 p.m. "Eli Stone"

Coming Midseason: "Lost," "Scrubs," "The Goode Family" (new) and "According to Jim"

CBS

Thursday, Sept. 18
7 p.m. "Survivor: Gabon"

Monday, Sept. 22
7 p.m. "The Big Bang Theory"
7:30 p.m. "How I Met Your Mother"
8 p.m. "Two and a Half Men"
8:30 p.m. "Worst Week" (new)
9 p.m. "CSI: Miami"

Tuesday, Sept. 23
7 p.m. "NCIS"
8 p.m. "The Mentalist" (new)
9 p.m. "Without a Trace"

Wednesday, Sept. 24
7 p.m. "The New Adventures of Old Christine"
7:30 p.m. "Project Gary" (new)
8 p.m. "Criminal Minds"
9 p.m. "CSI: NY"

Saturday, Sept. 27
7 p.m. Crimetime Saturday
8 p.m. Crimetime Saturday
9 p.m. "48 Hours"

Sunday, Sept. 28
6 p.m. "60 Minutes"
7 p.m. "The Amazing Race"
8 p.m. "Cold Case"
9 p.m. "The Unit"

Friday, Oct. 3
7 p.m. "Ghost Whisperer"
8 p.m. "The Ex List" (new)
9 p.m. "Numb3rs"

Thursday, Oct. 9
8 p.m. "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation"
9 p.m. "Eleventh Hour" (new)

CW

Monday, Sept. 1
7 p.m. "Gossip Girl"
8 p.m. "One Tree Hill"

Tuesday, Sept. 2
7 p.m. "90210" (new)

Wednesday, Sept. 3
7 p.m. "America's Next Top Model"

Tuesday, Sept. 9
8 p.m. "Priveleged" (new)

Thursday, Sept. 18
7 p.m. "Smallville"
8 p.m. "Supernatural"

Friday, Oct. 3
7 p.m. "Everybody Hates Chris"
7:30 p.m. "The Game"
8 p.m. "America's Next Top Model"

Wednesday, Oct. 29
8 p.m. "Stylista" (new)

FOX

Monday, Sept. 1
7 p.m. "Prison Break"

Wednesday, Sept. 3
7 p.m. "Bones"

Thursday, Sept. 4
7 p.m. "The Moment of Truth"

Friday, Sept. 5
7 p.m. "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?"

Saturday, Sept. 6
7 p.m. "COPS"
7:30 p.m. "COPS"
8 p.m. "America's Most Wanted: America Fights Back"

Monday, Sept. 8
7 p.m. "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles"

Tuesday, Sept. 9
7 p.m. "Fringe" (new)

Wednesday, Sept. 10
8 p.m. "'Til Death"
8:30 p.m. "Do Not Disturb" (new)

Thursday, Sept. 11
8 p.m. "Kitchen Nightmares"

Friday, Sept. 12
8 p.m. "Don't Forget the Lyrics!"

Saturday, Sept. 13
10 p.m. "MADtv"
11 p.m. "Talkshow with Spike Feresten"

Tuesday, Sept. 16
7 p.m. "House"

Sunday, Sept. 28
6 p.m. "The Simpsons"
6:30 p.m. "King Of The Hill"
7 p.m. "Family Guy"
7:30 p.m. "American Dad"

I posted NBC previously.

Come with me if you want to live

2008-06-10T11:09:00.000-05:00

Fox is repeating "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" at 8 p.m. Sundays through Wednesdays Aug. 10 to 24 before the Sept. 8 premiere of Season 2. One of the few bright spots of the strike-ravaged 2007-08 TV season to actually get to its natural conclusion, this is a show worth checking out.
Here is a synopsis of the episodes to be shown in August from Fox.

8 p.m.Sunday, Aug. 10: "Pilot" In the series premiere, Sarah Connor struggles to keep her son John Connor safe from an enemy Terminator from the future and John makes a surprising discovery about his new friend Cameron.

8 p.m.Monday, Aug. 11 "Gnothi Seauton" Sarah makes contact with an old friend to ask a favor, while John decides to pay a visit to Sarah's ex and Cameron makes a new friend. Together they infiltrate a resistance safe house and discover they are not alone.

8 p.m. Tuesday, Aug. 12 "The Turk" Sarah pays a visit to Miles Dyson's widow looking for Skynet's creators. Her search leads her to Andy Goode, a cell phone salesman who also happens to also be the inventor of a chess playing computer known as "The Turk."

8 p.m. Wednesday, Aug. 13 "Heavy Metal" When Sarah, Cameron and John track down stolen cargo, they become separated from John leading him to discover the future isn't as safe as he had hoped.

8 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 17 "Queen's Gambit" When Sarah's friend submits his computer into a chess competition, she revaluates his computer's capabilities and worries where it could all lead. During the chess match, Sarah comes face-to-face with a stranger whose history is closely tied to hers.

8 p.m. Monday, Aug. 18 "Dungeons and Dragons" While fighting for his life and moving in and out of consciousness, Derek Reese remembers life in the future and his personal battle against the machines.

8 p.m. Tuesday, Aug. 19 "The Demon Hand" When Sarah breaks into Agent Ellison's apartment looking for a missing endo-arm, she discovers dossiers, files and video from her stay in the mental hospital. The files lead her to hospital psychiatrist Dr. Silberman, a doomsday convert who made Sarah's hospital stay unbearable.

8 p.m. Wednesday, Aug. 20 "Vick's Chip" John defends Cameron against a damning accusation by Derek while Sarah gets too close to a Terminator.

8 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 24 "What He Beheld" Sarah and Derek attempt a business transaction with a questionable man, while John and Cameron find themselves in a precarious situation during a school trip. Meanwhile, Agent Ellison discovers a nemesis at the agency.

15 Things About "30 Days"

2008-06-04T20:52:00.005-05:00

FX's show is back, and if you've never seen it, this is all you need to know.
1. It's hosted by Morgan Spurlock, who hit it big with the "Super Size Me."
2. In that documentary he ate McDonald's for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 30 days, thus creating the "30 Days" concept of taking on a new life for 30 days.
3. He also gained 25 pounds making that documentary.
4. In the first "30 Days" episode, he and his fiance Alex took minimum wage jobs and li ved on the them for 30 days.
5. Believe it or not, she still married him after this.
6. The first episode of season 2, Spurlock went to prison.
7. He left before the 30 days was up that time.
8. This season he returned to his native West Virginia.
9. To work in a coal mine.
10. It sucked. (The job, not the show. I love this show.)
11. You get really dirty when you work in a coal mine.
12. Seriously, dude.
13. But you start at $60,000 a year.
14. And after 30 years you can make more than $100,000.
15. Next week a pro football player will see what it's like to be paralyzed and living in a wheelchair.

I don't like 'Sex and the City'

2008-05-29T06:00:00.009-05:00

OK, I can appreciate rabid fandom. After all, I am a "Star Wars" fan, and this is the second time in a week I have posted a "Robot Chicken" clip on this site.
But what I cannot - and will never - understand, is the appeal of "Sex and the City." The problem is not only that four full-grown women sit in public places and loudly discuss sex (watch the clip below and note the reaction of the guy at the next table "Lookin' for the check!"), or that each of Carrie's outfits would cost more than, oh, a lifetime's worth of paychecks for a freelance newspaper columnist. After all, who expects TV to be realistic, right?
There's the rub. Now that the movie is being released this week, people are once again using one word to describe this show - relatable. Which part? The inappropriate public sex talk? (Who has EVER sat in a restaurant with three other people and discussed sex this frankly? Bueller?) The ridiculous "fashion"? I understand that it is nice to have three friends who stick by you through everything, but surround it with all this bull, and all hope of realism disappears.
If my show is going to be a fantasy, I prefer something that is at least FUNNY, as well. This. Show. Is. Not. Funny. "Scrubs" is fantasy, and it's funny. "Arrested Development" is fantasy, and it's EXTREMELY funny. "Sex and the City" is not funny. It's whiny, rude, obvious, overindulgent, stupid and offensive, but it's not funny.
And I have watched it, so don't give me that. The very first episode I ever saw was about Samantha complaining about the bad taste of her boyfriend's semen. And I actually watched it again after that - but not until it was on TBS! I saw an episode about Miranda dating a guy who previously only dated models (I hated all the times that happened to me!). I saw Carrie pissed off because her 50-year-old, married '50s throwback boyfriend didn't want to meet her friends. I couldn't figure out why he had wanted to meet HER. I saw Carrie cheat on her fiance Aidan and then whine when he was upset about it. I saw Carrie, again, upset in Paris (!) because her boyfriend Mikhail Baryshnikov (!) didn't pay enough attention to her (!) (Mr. Big showed up to save the day, and again, WHY?).
So I gave it a chance before I decided it was worthless. Have fun at your little cosmofest this weekend, ladies. I'll be watching "Robot Chicken."

http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=3306512d41a010000eb401668a881793

The return of 'Heroes'

2008-05-27T15:19:00.004-05:00

NBC has released its fall premiere dates. Is it just me is this info trickling out slower than ever? By September we should have all the networks' full schedules, at the rate we're going.

"Heroes" will start with a one-hour long clip show bringing us up to date since it has been so long since it's been on.

Friday, Sept. 12
7 p.m. “America’s Toughest Jobs”
Monday, Sept. 22
7 p.m. “Heroes” clip show
8 p.m. “Heroes (two hours)
Tuesday, Sept. 23
9 p.m. “Law & Order: SVU”
Wednesday, Sept. 24
7 p.m. “Knight Rider”
9 p.m. “Lipstick Jungle”
Thursday, Sept. 25
7 p.m. “My Name Is Earl” (one hour)
8 p.m. “The Office” (one hour)
9 p.m. “ER”
Monday, Sept. 29
7 p.m. “Chuck”
9 p.m. “My Own Worst Enemy”
Friday, Oct. 3
9 p.m. “Life”
Thursday, Oct. 9
8:30 p.m. “Kath & Kim”
Friday, Oct. 17
7 p.m. “Crusoe” (two hours)
Thursday, Oct. 30
7:30 p.m. “30 Rock”

Happy Indiana Jones Day!

2008-05-22T07:35:00.000-05:00

Here's a "Robot Chicken" sketch based on everyone's favorite archaeologist, to mark the release of the new movie today.

http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=f342569017d92a110d806060aa07107b

The wait is over - the next 'American Idol' is...

2008-05-21T07:56:00.004-05:00

... and we'll tell you in the next post. (Just kidding, that's just how Ryan does it on the show.)
This finale has seemed inevitable for about 12 weeks now, and here it is. David Cook is the winner, and next season promises lots of changes.
If I may suggest one change, less is more! Enough with the hour-long results shows, two-hour finales, and so forth. It's too much for anyone over 14 to deal with.
As for advice for the new Idol, let me quote Randy by saying "OK, OK, check it out. You can sing the phone book, dawg! That was hot! You are in the zone! Still, it was a little pitchy, dawg. I'm not mad at you for that." If you could program a robot to say just those things, Randy could spend more time on his eyewear line and MTV dancing show.
I can't really quote the others, even though like Paula I could do the critiques before the singing. Simon, on the other hand, is usually right.
See you next season, dawg!

'American Idol' finale

2008-05-20T19:25:00.004-05:00

It appears that the fact that they have two guys in the finale made them want to try out a "Let's get ready to rumble" opening. With David Archuleta in a boxing robe. Uff...
It must be deafening in the Kodak Theatre tonight. And Simon gets a lot of screaming.
Big David and Little David? First the boxing robes, and now this? They're both bigger than Ryan I bet. Hee.
The mentors are Clive Davis and Andrew Lloyd Webber. God, Clive Davis looks like the Crypt Keeper!
Simon says, "you have to hate your opponent!" Oh, come on. Instead of that, the Davids gush about how great the other one is.
Now we learn the structure. First song is chosen by Clive Davis. (OK, I am already sick of the stupid boxing guy.)

David Cook
Song: "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" (yay!)
I think: He's not making it his own, but he is ably handling the huge vocal.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says "I'm gonna call you DC," (whatever) but it was a great song choice and it was "hot, baby!" Paula says "we have found David Cook, and we need to look no further." Simon says he looked very tense "but it was phenomenal."

David Archuleta
Song: "Don't Let The Sun Go Down on Me"
I think: He sings this song beautifully, but it's not a very contemporary sound. He does keep his eyes open, ANDREW.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says this was the right time for such a great performance. Paula has chills and "the sun is never going to go down on you!" Randy is still yelling about it being "hot!" Simon says "tonight's performance was the best you've done so far. Round one goes to Archuleta."

The first commercial after this is for "Beverly Hills Chihuahua." I literally yelled "What the hell!" for 30 seconds.
The next song is chosen from a pool of new songs.

David Cook
Song: "Dream Big"
I think: This track, sung by David, is radio-ready. Fantastic long note at the end.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says the song was just OK, but "you were singing your face off there." Paula says "this is great way to take a song we don't know and fall in love with it." Simon says "it was a bit of a lightweight, but you made the most of what you had. It didn't feel like a winning moment to me."

David Archuleta
Song: "In This Moment"
I think: He should have chosen a faster song, just to get out of that sincere David thing. It is not a bad song, though.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says once again, the song was just OK, but interestingly enough, he thinks David could sing the phone book. (What an original thought!) Paula says it was another great performance, and that's why he is where he is. Simon says "I love the egotistical lyric" and "Round two goes to David Archuleta."

The third song is whatever the contestants want.

David Cook
Song: "The World I Know" (I was hoping it would be the phone book. Wouldn't that be awesome? Maybe someone should HIT Randy with a phone book.)
I think: Simon totally disagrees with me tonight, but I think Cook is just more contemporary. This song is a bit slow, but he's still singing it very well. And he finally breaks down at the end.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says the cool thing about David Cook is that he is showing all the different sides of him. Paula says "you're standing in your truth." She also applauds him, David Cook. Simon says he is "one of the nicest, most sincere contestants that we have ever had." He then says it was utterly the wrong song. He also winks when David says "I understand what you're saying."

David Archuleta
Song: "Imagine"
I think: I'm going to go out on a limb here and say his version of this song is boring. It's too perfect. I disagree with Simon, who said to Cook that he should have done a song that he nailed previously, like "Billie Jean." I would have liked to hear something new.
The Holy Trinity say: Randy says "you are exactly what this show is about! The best singer of season 7 is right here!" Paula says he has left her speechless (all evidence to the contrary) and "you were stunning tonight." Simon says "tonight we have witnessed one of the great finals, and what we have witnessed is a knockout." (I feel so sorry for him right now I can hardly stand it. He's so clearly overwhelmed, I'm surprised he could sing as well as he did.)

I think David Archuleta's going to win. And I think they both have recording careers.
Ruben Studdard sings us out, and I have to say I could see Archuleta singing this kind of song in a couple of years, possibly even for "Idol."

'90210'? Really?

2008-05-19T19:33:00.003-05:00

Have things gotten so bad that this passes for exciting news? Another generation has passed, so now we have '90s nostalgia, which follows '80s nostalgia, which follows '70s nostalgia... someday this will happen to you kids of the 'aughts, too.
This promo promises that it will be more "provocative," which shouldn't be hard, right? Or maybe you don't remember "Donna Martin graduates!" In the age of "Gossip Girl," promising to be provocative means the new mantra may be "Donna Martin has threesomes!"
And is that Jessica Walter? How sad, that this is what follows her awesome turn as Lucille on "Arrested Development" (which hopefully will get its own revamp in the 2020s).
I just don't get it.

The best new comedy

2008-05-18T14:10:00.002-05:00

I don't know what you think, but this seems like the best show of the new season so far.
Get it?

The new fall season is almost here!

2008-05-16T18:40:00.002-05:00

The complete fall season was in my newspaper column today (read it here), but it didn't tell the whole story. Here are some of the other things we can expect in the coming year.

ABC

New fall series: "Life on Mars" (based on the BBC series about a cop who somehow ends up back in 1973 after a car crash) and "Opportunity Knocks" (a reality show which shows how well people REALLY know they their family).
Midseason news! "Lost" will be back in 2009, and in the last two seasons it will make up the episodes that we didn't get this year because of the writers strike.
Other series to return in the midseason are "According to Jim" (how is this still on?), "The Bachelor," and "Primetime."
New series to come in the midseason are "The Goode Family" (a new Mike Judge animated comedy), "Scrubs" (from NBC, for a full 18-episode run), and "Untitled Ashton Kutcher/Tyra Banks Project" (which is apparently some kind of beauty pageant. Personally I wish they would keep that title).

CBS

New fall series: "Eleventh Hour" (a new Jerry Bruckheimer drama based on a British thriller), "The Ex List" (a romantic dramedy), "The Mentalist" (a drama starring Simon Baker), "Project Gary" (a comedy with Jay Mohr as a divorced man), and "Worst Week" (a relationship comedy).
The awful sitcom "Rules of Engagement" returns in the midseason, as if anyone cares.
Only one new series is to come in the midseason is "Harper's Island" (a horror comedy).

CW

New fall series: "90210" (well, technically new), "Stylista" (a new fashion reality show), and "Surviving the Filthy Rich" (a drama about a live-in tutor to wealthy twin sisters).
One of 2007's bright spots, "Reaper," returns in midseason.
No new midseason series have been announced.

FOX

New fall series: "Do Not Disturb" (a comedy starring Jerry O'Connell) and "Fringe" (a thriller murder mystery by J.J. Abrams).
"24" returns in Jan. 2009. It's true that season 6 was disappointing, but I greet every new season of "24" the way you Cubs fans greet each new baseball season - full of hope and optimism. And season 7 looked promising, with Cherry Jones as the president of the United States (at least it can happen on TV!).
Midseason brings the premiere of "Dollhouse" (a Joss Whedon drama about an underground mercenary group starring Eliza Dushku) and "The Cleveland Show" (a "Family Guy spinoff).

NBC

New fall series: "Crusoe" (as in Robinson), "Kath & Kim" (a BBC import comedy starring "SNL's" Molly Shannon), "Knight Rider" (returning as a series after the successful made-for-TV movie), and "My Own Worst Enemy" (drama starring Christian Slater).
Midseason welcomes "Kings" (a drama set in a modern warzone), "Merlin" (a modern fantasy based on the "Camelot" legend), "The Office" Spinoff (which premieres after the Super Bowl), and "The Philanthropist" (a drama about a vigilante philanthropist - snicker).
The new 52-week schedule includes a summer block, which includes "America's Toughest Jobs" (a competition from the producer of "Deadliest Catch"), "Chopping Block" (a new chef-based reality show), "The Listener" (a drama about a mind-reading paramedic - another snicker), and "Shark Taggers" (it's pretty much what it sounds like).

Bye, Syesha

2008-05-14T20:12:00.004-05:00

First the odd trio sing "Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now." I'm sure the Davids were thrilled.
The Ford spot tonight is set to "Heaven." Great song, but apparently all these kids dream about is fame and cars. Probably not that far from the truth.
Fifty-six million people voted last night! Man.
Lots of celebs in the audience tonight. Mostly "American Idol" celebs.
Speaking of "American Idol" celebs, Fantasia performs. now, Davids and Syesha, THAT is a confident performer. Her enthusiasm is amazing. She. Loves. This. Simon is staring, slack-jawed.
First we go to David Archuleta's hometown. The cheerleaders rush him and hug him. It looks like the entire day he had girls screaming and clawing at him. It's a lot for a 17-year-old, and he breaks down at an insane mall appearance. The mayor of his town has a gigantic handlebar mustache. Awesome.
Next we go home with Syesha. Someone gives her a baby to hold! She's saying "I can't be doing this." Then she cries. Her parents cry too, as they hug her and hold her legs on a parade through town. She rides a helicopter to an appearance and sobs as she holds a snowglobe on the way back in the limo.
Lastly, we go to David Cook's house. He does the weather on the local TV station. He surprises his elementary school music teacher with flowers and thanks her for inspiring her. I don't think she was THAT surprised, because he was wearing a David Cook T-shirt. Then he is the subject of a huge parade. And he, too, cries. He threw out the first pitch at a Royals game. He says "I'm going to get to do all the things I have ever wanted to do in one day." During his montage we learn that he actually tried out with his brother.
And ... it's (don't you just hate how Ryan stretches out every word) ... David vs. David.

3 is a perfect pair

2008-05-13T19:32:00.002-05:00

Tonight on "American Idol" each of the remaining Davids - and Syesha - are singing three songs. One is chosen by them, one by a judge, and one by the show's producers. How did they pick who got Archuleta? Maybe they watched "Hey Paula" and decided they didn't want her to cry like she did when she didn't get to work on the "Bratz" movie.

David Archuleta
Song: "And So It Goes," chosen by Paula
I think: The simple arrangement brings out a maturity that we don't usually see in Archie. Incidentally, this is the first week he is performing since his dad was banned from rehearsals (although he is still allowed to sit in the audience).
Huey, Duey and Louie say: Randy says Paula chosen a "dope" song for him, and although he would have liked to see him at the piano, he was "in the zone! In it to win it!" Paula said he performed it beautifully. Simon said it was good, "a bit predictable" but not outstanding.

Syesha Mercado
Song: "If I Ain't Got You," chosen by Randy
I think: First, a confession. Syesha and I do not have the same taste. I can't stand Alicia Keys. And I think this song is plodding, and then screechy at the end.
Huey, Duey and Louie say: Randy loves it, and says she is peaking at the perfect time. Paula says it is difficult to do Simon says she sang it very well, but he would have preferred she do a song she could make her own more.

David Cook
Song: "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face," chosen by Simon
I think: He sounds wonderful. I thought the long notes would challenge him too much, but he is doing great. The second he started singing, I could see why Simon chose it for him.
Huey, Duey and Louie say: Randy says he could sing, but he thought the song choice was predictable. They are in a fight. Paula says it shouldn't be about the "two of you, it's about you!" She says it is one of her favorite songs and he's "my second favorite singer of it." Simon says it was one of his best performances. "This is what makes you brilliant, you take risks. Round one goes to Cook and Cowell!"

David Archuleta
Song: "With You," chosen by David
I think: This is fun. I have never seen him so loose and enjoying himself so much. Bye bye Dad?
Huey, Duey and Louie say: Randy says he's not used to him doing the kind of song and "I'm not sure I want to hear you sing 'boo.'" Paula says it's nice to see him get away from the ballads, but he shouldn't oversing it. Simon says he applauds him branching out but "it was a little like a chihuahua trying to be a tiger" and it was not really him.

Syesha Mercado
Song: "Fever," chosen by Syesha
I think: I love it. She's sexy, and not oversinging too much, and using her low notes.
Huey, Duey, and Louie say: Randy says it was very interesting song choice and she sang it well. Great performance. Paula says she's surprised by the choice, and it doesn't show her who Syesha is as an artist. Simon says she will regret the decision because she did a lame cabaret performance.

David Cook
Song: "Dare You to Move," chosen by David
I think: He's actually a little flat at first, but during the chorus it really picks up.
Huey, Duey and Louie say: Randy says it was little pitchy, dawg. Not his best. Paula says she knows what a challenge it is to condense the songs, and he didn't get to do enough of the song. Simon says it was pretty much what he would have expected, and all three had an OK middle round.

David Archuleta
Song; "Longer," chosen by producers
I think: This is back to formula for him, but he sounds really good doing it.
Huey, Duey and Louie say: Randy says it was another hot one from you! Paula says it was a lovely performance. Simon says he sang the song very well, but he thought the song was horrible.

Syesha Mercado
Song: "Hit Me Up," chosen by producers
I think: She does much better with the verses, but she is so hot tonight. You almost feel sorry for her for being doomed.
Huey, Duey and Louie say: Randy says it was just OK for him. Paula says it was from the "Happy Feet" soundtrack. She says it's the type of song that defines her, and she doesn't think it's good enough to get her in finals. Simon says it was better than the second song and she peaked last week.

David Cook
Song: "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing," chosen by producers
I think: He seems more on key, like the first song. The song is very choppy in the short time, though. I think he's the man.
Huey, Duey and Louie say: Randy says he loves the song, but it was just OK. Paula gives a shout out to Diane Warren, the songwriter. She says "welocme to the finals." Simon says "David Cook wins the night!"

I agree with Simon. David Cook's the next "American Idol."

And then there were 3

2008-05-07T20:18:00.003-05:00

Ryan starts by saying there were nearly 51 million votes and the top 3 were all within a million votes of each other.
The top 4 sang "Reelin' in the Years."
Then David Archuleta goes to the couch again.
After the break, we see the top 4 take a trip to Las Vegas to see the Cirque de Soleil show "The Beatles Love." Then they get up close and personal with the dolphins at the Mirage, which would have been my favorite part. Then they got makeovers and went to Cirque de Soleil. Jason looks unimpressed, but David Cook loved it. It's really nice to see David Archuleta with the fans; he looks so happy. Maybe his dad wasn't allowed to go with him - hee.
Next David Cook comes out, and he's safe as well. So the top 2 are on the couch.
Did you see the clip on TMZ of Jason supposedly mouthing "Don't Vote"? Ryan starts to say who's going home and he says "you're going to tell us now?" He's probably just sick of being raked over the coals every week. And of course, no, Ryan wasn't telling yet.
The Ford spot tonight was set to "Ring of Fire." It was cute. David Cook seemed to handle the vocal the best.
Ugh! The phone call segment. First a girl asks David Cook out on a date, then someone asks what the biggest challenge has been and Jason says "uhhh ... just the brain being dead." He is such a fun dumbass.
This segment goes on forever. People are asking Simon why he hasn't been knighted yet and told him he could be the next James Bond. Ever noticed no one ever asks Randy a question?
It's finally over, and time for Maroon 5 to sing. Anything to fill an hour. Man, that singer is really skinny. Like, a boy should not be that skinny.
Another break, and Bo Bice comes on to sign. I still can't believe this guy was ever a contestant on "American Idol;" he's straight out of Lynyrd Skynyrd. He is a pretty good singer, though. And also quite skinny.
Jason and Syesha face the music (ha!) and Jason said "someone said I shot the Tambourine Man, which I thought was pretty funny." After Syesha's civil rights lecture, we finally got the results.
Jason's going home! The montage is hysterical; just him spacing out and stuff. He is relieved, smiling as big as can be.

I Want to Rock 'n' Roll All Night -- actually, maybe not

2008-05-07T19:36:00.004-05:00

Tonight we are hearing the top 4 singing from the Top 500 Songs of Rock 'n' Roll.

David Cook
Song: "Hungry Like the Wolf"
I think: Now, I am an unashamed fan of Duran Duran. I always have been. But when I think of the top rock 'n' roll songs of all time, I do not think of Duran Duran. That threw me for a loop, but it wasn't bad.
Snap, Crackle and Pop say: Randy says is looking forward to seeing the variety of choices tonight and "mad hot vocals," but this was just OK for David. Paula said "your 'Hungry Like the Wolf' has left me with a big appetite" and she loves watching him grow and flourish (must she always sound like a predator?). Simon said he thought it was good, and it was a "little bit copycat." He didn't make it his own the way he usually does. But he thinks it's good enough to get him through the week.

Syesha Mercado
Song: "Proud Mary"
I think: Now, THAT'S a rock classic. She starts out too slow, but she picks it up pretty well. She's fun to watch. She will make a good Broadway star, and that's not a bad thing at all.
Snap, Crackle and Pop say: Randy said this is the third week in a row she is in the zone, and it's great timing. Paula said she looks like a star, and magic happened. Simon said he's sorry to put a slight damper on things, but he thought it was a bad, "shriek-y" version, and a bad impression of Tina Turner. (I think he was too hard on her.)

Jason Castro
Song: "I Shot the Sheriff"
I think: I'll admit, I was unable to do this recap last night, and I read that this was awful today, but I like it. I think I just like Jason, and some people don't.
Snap, Crackle and Pop say: Randy said that was a really karaoke Bob Marley, and there was nothing special about it. Paula said he really performed for the audience, but she wasn't crazy about the performance or the song. Simon said "stand back. That ... was ... utterly ... atrocious. (he went on for a while.) I don't know what you were thinking. (more) It was a bad first round nightmare audition (oh come on!)."

David Archuleta
Song: "Stand by Me"
I think: Such a lovely song, and he sings it as well as he always does. Still, it's a little dull, and he adds a line about "all your beautiful girls."
Snap, Crackle and Pop say: Randy said "at least there's one guy who hits the stage every time trying to win the whole thing! This is a competition! It was hot!" (so what do I know?) Paula said he's way beyond his years, and she admires that he is communicating with his eyes that Andrew Lloyd Webber said. Simon said he "could have whistled and sounded better than the last performance" and he struggled a little at the end.

David Cook
Song: "Baba O'Reilly"
I think: He's a lot more in his element here, and it's a better arrangement. I am not a big fan of the song, but I liked this.
Snap, Crackle and Pop say: Randy said "that was more like the David Cook I've grown to love." Paula said she just wants more and she's really humbled. Simon said "Welcome back, David Cook."

Syesha Mercado
Song: "A Change is Gonna Come"
I think: She's singing her little heart out, but I don't like the arrangement. I think it's a little boring.
Snap, Crackle and Pop say: Randy said he did not love it, and he didn't like the arrangement of the band or her vocal. He said it was disconnected and was trying to be something it wasn't. Paula gave her a standing o and said "welcome to your dream, Syesha. This is it." She was crying a little. Simon said "I have to be fair and I'm going to agree with Paula." (Syesha is sobbing, and it's really sweet.)

Jason Castro
Song: "Mr. Tambourine Man"
I think: I said "uh oh" when I heard he was doing this. And he forgot the words! To a Bob Dylan song! He's gonna get massacred, and he should.
Snap, Crackle and Pop say: Randy said "how did you think that was?" and "Jason's not in the zone tonight." Paula said "it is what it is" and it did not blow her away "but you blow me away.Simon said "Jason, I'd pack your suitcase." (He's forgetting it's a popularity contest.)

David Archuleta
Song: "Love Me Tender"
I think: Again, it's what I always say. This is not a sexy guy singing a love song, like Elvis did, it's Aladdin. And the judges will go nuts for it.
Snap, Crackle and Pop say: Randy said "another great performance" and he caressed each word. Paula said it was one of her favorite performances of his. Simon said he didn't just beat the competition; he crushed it.

The last of Neil Diamond, ever!

2008-04-30T20:11:00.004-05:00

Could there have been a more difficult mentor? Maybe next week they should just do Gregorian Chants. The group sing isn't really a group sing any more, since the "group" is five people and none of their voices are compatible. Brooke and Syesha are reduced to back-up DANCING.
Nothing has changed from last night. They still can't sing Neil Diamond's songs. Not a one of them. And I'm still bummed David Cook didn't do "Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon." That would have been so cool. Or "Turn on Your Heartlight," which would have been hilarious.
Hey, it's Gina Glocksen! Who is not dating Constantine. It's too bad, because he's cute. And she looks great. Go Gina! They host "American Idol Extra," by the way.
Ryan speaks up for Paula and says "the rumors" are not true! You mean the rumors that she wrote up her judges' comments before the songs were done? Just kidding. She clearly watched rehearsal. And is loopy.
Jason is first up and he is safe, which goes to show that it's all based on popularity. I love Jason, but last night was not his night. Next up is David A., and Paula gets a chance to explain why she thinks he should have more fun (his dad). And in the biggest non-surprise of the night, David A. is safe.
The preview of "So You Think You Can Dance' looks more like "So You're a Contortionist."
David Cook is up next. He is safe. So it's Brooke or Syesha and we have an entire half hour of filler before we find out who it is.
Natasha Bedingfield sings next. Who is she? I don't know, but her pants are too tight and her song is very annoying.
Not the call-in segment again! The first girl Simon ever kissed (at 9 years old!) called in to ask if he remembers her. It's actually kind of cute, especially when Ryan reminds kids that nine years old is too young to kiss.
Neil Diamond is performing tonight. So all the audience's dreams are coming true. I have to say this guy aging remarkably, although he appears to have at the least had botox.
Brooke goes home tonight. Pack your stuff for next week, Syesha, this is all about the boys at this point.

Neil Diamond, explaining how he wrote his songs

2008-04-29T20:28:00.005-05:00

Remember that, on "SNL"? Anyway, it's not true. He's just torturing remaining five on "American Idol."

OK, I hate this structure, everyone sings one song, then the next one. So I am going to put up here that I totally agreed with Simon's assessment after the first song - top 5 contenders should be doing better than this. And how about Paula rating both songs? How whacked out is this woman?

Jason Castro
Songs: "Forever in Blue Jeans" and "September Morn"
See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil said: Randy said it was OK and he doesn't know what's happening tonight. Paula wants him to get out of his comfort zone. Simon said he hasn't recognized him in two weeks and he hasn't put any of himself into it.
I think: OK, the first song is almost over and I can't think of anything to say. That doesn't seem good. I didn't like how he switched key back and forth. The second song, Dullsville!

David Cook
Songs: "I'm Alive" and "All I Really Need is You"
See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil said: Randy said he's a huge David Cook fan and it was blazin'. Paula said he picked lesser known songs and was the only one who pulled it off. Simon said, first song OK, second song brilliant.
I think: In "Alive," he sounds like Neil Diamond, and the song is OK. "All I Really Need" was much better, because he perked up a little.

Brooke White
Songs: "I'm a Believer" and "I Am I Said"
See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil said: Randy said "I Am" is a difficult song to sing and she did a nice job. Paula said it showed her vulnerability and she recovered from the first song. Simon said she really really hated the first one but "this is the Brooke we like."
I think: She's singing too low, and the band is too loud. Simon said it was a nightmare, and I'm with him. I hate "I Am I Said" because of the thing with the chair not hearing him. (If it did hear you, dude, you would be in trouble.) Plus he told her to sing Arizona instead of New York and she realized when she sang "coasts" it didn't work.

David Archuleta
Songs: "Sweet Caroline" and "America"
See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil said: Randy said "for a young man you are in the zone." Paula said she loves him and he is brilliant. Have fun! Simon said it was clever and the right choice.
I think: He's all over the place. I think this is bad. There is something about his voice that really bugs me sometimes, and tonight it's all I hear.

Syesha Mercado
Songs: "Hello Again" and "Thank the Lord for the Nighttime"
See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil said: Randy said she is finally realizing who she is and doing well. Paula said she was vulnerable in the first and the second showcased her performance ability. Simon said this is officially the strangest show they've ever done. He also thinks she's in trouble tonight.
I think: Well, that makes everyone sucking so far tonight. These songs must be hard to sing because I think everyone is botching them. She did much better on the second one; I think she was second best for the night after David Cook.

Elimination night on "American Idol"

2008-04-23T20:01:00.002-05:00

Ryan kisses Simon on the head as a greeting tonight. Just what all of us have always wanted to see him do.
Andrew Lloyd Webber comes back on stage and says all the stuff he said last night. Ryan makes a point of saying that Brooke starting over was the first time it had ever happened on "American Idol" but SHE did earlier this season! What the hell?
Hopefully this time will negate the need for a call-in segment tonight.
After the Ford commercial, which is a punk comic strip set to "Tainted Love," President and Laura Bush read off cards about how great "Idol Gives Back" is. Laura Bush is wearing a quilt, or something.
First up are the Davids, who are safe. Shocking.
They showed a commercial for "Hancock." Wow, that looks cool.
We catch up with Tamyra Grey and Clay Aiken, who are both on Broadway. They seem to be having fun. Clay Aiken has a lot of hair.
Leona Lewis, who Simon discovered (has that been part of her name?), sings next. Her song is called "Bleeding Love." That's weird.
Syesha and Brooke take the stage next. Ryan tells them one of them is safe and it is Brooke, who is TOTALLY shocked.
Jason and Carly took the stage next. Jason makes it through. it must be the female fans; it wasn't his best night.
Syesha and Carly sing again, and it makes us realize we are officially to the part of the competition where everyone is pretty good.
Carly's gone. The audience is stunned. She drove me nuts for so long, and I liked her last night. So don't look at me.

Andrew Lloyd Webber meets "American Idol"

2008-04-23T15:17:00.008-05:00

Ryan starts out by telling us the "American Idol" finale will be green. OK, but will it be good? And it's only four weeks away.
Did you know the thing that Andrew Lloyd Webber always says "words, words, words." All righty now.
Ryan asks Simon how is he going to handle the fact that these are Broadway songs, given he always is calling people "too Broadway."

Syesha Mercado
Song: "One Rock 'n' Roll Too Many" ("Starlight Express")
I think: She's really enjoying this, and it makes her sound better.
The Peoples' Court says: Randy says she was in her element and she could be a "huge Broadway star." Paula said it was "her happy place" and it wasn't surprising. Simon said it was "very sexy" and it was one of her strongest performances.

Jason Castro
Song: "Memory" ("Cats")
I think: Jason had no idea a cat sings "Memory"! He said "I think I understand it."
Jason can't do much wrong in my book, and I think he sounds great. But I don't think I have seen him this nervous.
The Peoples' Court says: Randy said "it was a little bit of train wreck." Paula said it was a wise choice because it allows him to inject his influence into it and showcases its uniqueness. Simon said "it was probably the longest two minutes of your life" and it felt like he was being forced to sing it (which he was, by Simon).

Brooke White
Song: "You Must Love Me" (the movie "Evita")
I think: He coached her through the song in a way that defined "mentor," as much as I hate to admit it. But she started over, and it's not the first time. She simply must stop doing this. Everyone is so dang nervous, it makes it clear how foreign this theme is for them.
The Peoples' Court says: Randy said it wasn't great, but at she listened to Andrew Lloyd Webber. Vocally it wasn't strong. Paula said "you must never start and stop." Paula said it was strongest when she was emotional. Simon said "this is why I love live TV" (oh, snap!) and it became uncomfortable watching her as she struggled. He feels she will be disappointed watching it back.

David Archuleta
Song: "Think of Me" ("Phantom of the Opera")
I think: This song sounds way more natural for a boy than "Memory" did. Webber told him to keep his eyes open. He is making some very interesting observations. To me, this does not sound like a Broadway song, the first of the night (only because "Memory" is so well known.)
The Peoples' Court says: Randy said this shows again that "if you can sing, you can sing anything" and "this is the boy to beat!" Paula said it was perfect and he turned a Broadway song into a pop ballad. Simon said it was pleasant but forgettable.

Carly Smithson
Song: "Superstar" ("Jesus Christ Superstar")
I think: Webber switches her song! He's really doing well with them. I liked her this week better than perhaps any other. She really came alive, and the song fit her voice perfectly.
The Peoples' Court says: Randy said it was definitely good and the bigger voices are doing better tonight. Paula said it was unexpected and she was in the range. Simon said it was a little shouty in the middle but it was one of his favorite performances of the night.

David Cook
Song: "The Music of the Night" ("Phantom of the Opera")
I think: When Andrew says David has to sing to him like he's a gorgeous 17-year-old, it's a bit creepy. And kind of funny. He really struggles with this one.
The Peoples' Court says: Randy said this is further proof that the Davids can sing anything and it was "an amazing vocal performance and molten hot." Paula said it proved he is a well-rounded performer. Simon said he made the most of the song, because it's not where he does well.

Based on tonight alone, I think Brooke and David C. are in the most trouble, but the judges disagreed on David.

Elimination night on "Idol"

2008-04-16T20:28:00.003-05:00

We start with the group sing, "One Sweet Day." Is David A. wearing a Members Only jacket?
Tonight we are forming groups to the left and right. David Cook is on one side and Jason is on the other side. Hmmm.... Carly joins Jason. Kristy joins David.
Eliot Yamin sings after the break. He's pretty good. I may be softening on this whole thing. Oh my God, his mother just died.
Syesha joins Jason and Carly. Brooke joins David and Kristy.
I don't understand how they act like they haven't read the question five minutes ago.
Mariah Carey sings for about five hours. I think I died in the middle there.
Now David has to be placed with a new family, no, group. Ryan asks him if he's happy. Wow, these guys really read the rumors. Now, David A. is told he is safe, David C. and Syesha are swapped, and Ryan tells David A. to join the group that is safe. Oh my God! He sits in the middle of the stage. Good for him. It turns out David C., Jason and Carly are safe.
Brooke, Kristy and Syesha are the bottom 3. Syesha is quickly moved to the safe zone. God, now the judges have to say if America got it right again. This is too much.

KRISTY is finally GONE! Thank God. She should have been gone weeks ago. How can she be crying?

"American Idol" top 7

2008-04-15T22:27:00.005-05:00

Mariah Carey is the mentor tonight. She has sold more songs than Elvis, which is just so incredibly wrong. I have always said Mariah is the ultimate "American Idol" inspiration. She oversings everything and lives this fabulous life. She starts out telling the top 7 how she is not a diva. Nice try.

David Archuleta
Song: When You Believe
Gossip Girl says: Randy said "you can sing anything! That was the bomb, baby!" Paula said she thinks Mariah was proud of him. Simon said he would have bet a million dollars he would do that song, and he did a good job. He also said "I have a feeling there aren't going to be a lot of laughs tonight" (which I found hilarious).
I think: She tells him to use more range in his voice. Shocker. I think he sounds ridiculous.

Carly Smithson
Song: Without You
Gossip Girl says: Randy said he likes that she challenged herself, but he thought she sounded unsure of herself in the beginning. Paula liked that she showed some vocal restraint (hee!) and it made her sound good. Simon said he looked forward to her singing this song and he thought she didn't pull it off, and he pulled back too much in the end.
I think: Can I just say she looks great tonight? (She. Covered. Up. the. Tattoo.) She says how much everyone misses Michael. She sounds pretty good tonight, too. Oddly enough, to me she sounds a little restrained. Maybe the material suits her.

Syesha Mercado
Song: Vanishing
Gossip Girl says: Randy said she always sings the toughest song, and he thought she pulled it off. Paula said she has been extremely smart, she picked a song many people don't know, and she uses her voice well. Simon said technically it was very, very good indeed, but he questioned her choosing an unknown song.
I think: I gotta say she was the one I was dreading this week. She was aight, althought I don't care for the song, that appears to have three words, and one is "whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa."

Brooke White
Song: Hero
Gossip Girl says: Randy liked the "singer/songwriter look." Paula said she was authentic, and it was a brave thing to do. Both of them mentioned the off notes. Simon said she didn't have much choice, but it was like ordering a hamburger and just getting the bun. He said the vital ingredient was missing; she didn't have the voice to pull it off.
I think: She missed her own sister's wedding for this show. She is pretty restrained as well, which I have a feeling won't be popular with the judges. I, however, thought the song was as good as it could be this way.

Kristy Lee Cook
Song: Forever
Gossip Girl says: Randy didn't think it was amazing, but she definitely started stepping up toward the end. Paula said she is a very smart girl, and she was blown away. Simon said she was probably not happy it was Mariah week, and she didn't give him chills and it was whiny in parts.
I think: She can't believe she gave Mariah Carey goosebumps. I can't either. To me this is a big blank space in the evening, but it usually is.

David Cook
Song: Always Be My Baby
Gossip Girl says: Randy said he is the most ready to make an album, and he gave him a standing O. Paula said it could be to a movie soundtrack right now, and he's "it." Simon said it was like "coming out of karaoke hell and into the fresh air." He said it is the sign of a true artist.
I think: He sounds the most like a guy trying to sing Mariah Carey to me. He pulls it together by the end. And he seems the most like a real person this week, and he is overcome with emotion at hoe it went over.

Jason Castro
Song: I Don't Want to Cry
Gossip Girl says: Randy said he felt like he was at a weird beach luau (best comment of the night, although I disagree). Paula said she would love to be at that luau all night long (yow!). Simon said he agrees with Paula, it was unique and "the guys totally won the night."
I think: She said she hopes he uses the ideas she had for him. Wow, that is pretty cool. I thought he did great, because it was his version.

I actually thought David A. was the best.

"Idol" elimination night

2008-04-10T21:11:00.007-05:00

First we see the recap of "Idol Gives Back" and then the top 8 sing "Shout to the Lord" again as David Cook and Carly attempt to kill each other with screaming.
Then an oddly fascinating montage of people, half of which I didn't recognize, lip syncing "I'm A Believer."
Brooke is safe. David Cook is safe (whew! he had a bad week but he's still one of the most interesting contestants). David Archuleta is safe (and man, do the girls scream when his name is mentioned).
After the break, a film by Forest Whitaker and his wife from Angola. They are visibly moved by a family who live in a dirt-floor room with one filthy small mattress. It's horrible. Did you give last night? If not, do it now.
Jordin Sparks is next! Remember her? Me neither. She is singing with Chris Brown, who must be a big deal, because the audience is going nuts.
The Ford commercial is set to "I Just Want to Celebrate." They sound pretty good doing it.
Jason is safe (whoo!). Kristy is safe (huh?).
So the bottom 3 are Syesha, Carly and Michael.
Next, Bono talks about one.org. I belong, do you?
Syesha and Carly are safe. Paula is visibly shocked.
Bye Michael. You were cute.

"Idol Gives Back"

2008-04-09T18:46:00.004-05:00

There's a big opening number. It's goofy, and there are dancers who made me feel about 100 years old. But when Ryan joins in with his goofy bouncy thing, I feel cooler.
When Maria Shriver comes out they play "Maria" from "West Side Story," like it's the Oscars or something. Weird. I didn't watch this last year, is it all speeches? I hope not.
There's a little film about clean water. Jennifer Connelly should sell her expensive clothes to buy clean water.
Snoop Dogg is surrounded by little kids on stage. I hope they had a different dressing room.
Kobe Bryant gives a little spiel with a weird white bandage on his face. He claims there is an NBA family. Like you and Shaq, Kobe?
Triple H will beat your ass if you don't give money to Idol Gives Back.
Hi Paula and Randy! Paula looks pretty. Paula and Randy went to Goshen School, near L.A. An adorable kid named Christian leads them around. They kids don't have places to play. Save the Children helps them.
Oh God, now Teri Hatcher is going to sing. I was hoping this was untrue. Oh how cute, Mike Denton, her TV husband, is in the band. She is actually not horrible, but she isn't great. And why is she singing? And eat a sandwich. A really big sandwich.
Mary Murphy from "So You Think You Can Dance" is doing that screaming thing she does now.
The Jonas Brothers! EEEEEKKKK! Don't tell Mary Murphy!
Billy Crystal is introduced as "recently retired from the New York Yankees." He is introducing Miley Cyrus, why? He said her name wrong, hee hee hee. They are bantering. Awesome. We get it, Miley. Everything you do is number one. This is never going to end. OK, I have now heard this kid twice, on the "Kids Choice Awards" and here. and I am still stunned by how lame her songs - and especially her singing - are. Would she have made the Hollywood round as a contestant? Doubt it.
Here's my sweetie Bono now. Shut up! He is in Africa with this volunteer who helps children because her three kids all died of AIDS. OK, you got me.
We're back with Fergie and John Legend. Then, Fergie introduces Heart. That's right, those songs Carly butchers every week came from somewhere. And Ann Wilson may be enormous, but man, she can sing. Man, I bet Fergie has a hell of a time going to the bathroom in those rubber pants.
Peyton and Eli Manning introduce the inevitable New Orleans post-Katrina segment. Oh man, I may have to give again. Those poor kids.
ACK! The Beckhams!
Bono is one with a child's memory box for both of his parents. Annie Lennox is with a group of boys, brothers, who have lost all of their relatives. Just imagine. The oldest is 15, the youngest 3. Annie then comes on and sings "Many Rivers to Cross."
How bad is Celine Dion at reading from cards? She also winked at me. Ick.
Jimmy Kimmel introducing Simon Cowell? Oh, he's roasting him. Whatever. Nipple jokes?
Simon is doing the segment on uninsured Americans. Oh, George Bush says that's no problem, Simon. In fact, he vetoed a children's insurance program, because they don't need it. Don't you watch the news? Simon is remarkably good at talking to these people. I remember that from last year, when his segment was the only part of the show I saw.
Simon introduces Carrie Underwood, yow. She is singing a George Michael song ("Praying for Time"). Neat!
Gloria Estefan. Ugh. It's starting to get hard to stay focused here.
Sarah Silverman, uh oh. My husband just came in and he can't watch one minute of these poor kids with malaria. This baby with malaria has the most beautiful eyelashes I have ever seen. I hope that these kids watching this are really getting it.
Reese Witherspoon goes back to New Orleans to this wonderful place called Freedom School.
The top 8 sing "Seasons of Love." I know it's cheeseball as hell, but I kind of like this song. I bet they're glad to be off the phones.
Duck! It's Dane Cook! He's introducing Alicia Keys. Is she the person who thinks he's funny? She went to Africa. It's unbelieveable how these people have to live.
Oh, God, not Miley Cyrus again. Not only is her singing awful, her attempts at dancing are jarring and upsetting. Miley takes us to rural Kentucky. My God, they visit this poor family and the mom HAS A BLACK EYE. Too much reality.
Robin Williams?! Oh man. His first line is "You are a friend of Gary Busey!" to Ryan. Nice. He's been on at least four hours. Not funny since first line.
David Spade is introduced, and I swear people stopped clapping the second they heard his name. Brad Pitt, on the other hand, gets a bigger reaction. And he introduces ... Daughtry. Hmm. Daughtry is in Uganda to show us more depressing pictures of poor people just in case you haven't given yet. C'mon, give, everyone's doing it. Oh the kids are singing their song. That's sweet.
Mariah Carey is on now, with Randy playing bass. I will never figure out how she is such a big deal. Now there is a big choir on stage with so much screaming I can barely stand it. Can I take my money back? No, really, I wouldn't.
The top 8 closes the show, with a church song. Seriously, we sing this at my church. Kristy is probably mad they stole her thing.
Good night!

"Idol" inspiration night

2008-04-08T19:03:00.003-05:00

Michael Johns
Song: Dream On
Judge, jury and executioner: Randy said he had pitch problems and it was all right. Paula said she couldn't disagree more, because it was a perfect song, and he sounds as good as he looks. Simon said it was a very good performance, but he didn't like that he was impersonating a rock star.
I think: He didn't bring anything to it, but he handled the vocal, which isn't an easy one. And he's so pretty.

Syesha Mercado
Song: I Believe
Judge, jury and executioner: Randy said it was OK. Fantasia has a better connection to the audience. Paula said she flipped it and made it her own, and this is one of her shining nights. Simon said technically she sang it very well but it didn't have a wave of emotion.
I think: I hate her song choices.

Jason Castro
Song: Over the Rainbow
Judge, jury and executioner: Randy said "Jason Castro is back in the hunt! That was blazin' hot!" Paula said he has the most definitive sound, and it was the perfect. Simon said it was "fantastic!"
I think: I LOVE this version, and actually squealed like a little girl when he started. I love his song choices.

Kristy Lee Cook
Song: Anyway
Judge, jury and executioner: Randy said it was a little pitchy, but it was really good. Paula said she outdid herself tonight and was excellent. Simon said with a choice this broad you have an opportunity to prove yourself, and she did it.
I think: She looks really pretty, and sang well. Still, she bores me to death.

When they came back from commercial, a man was sitting on Simon's lap. Ohhhkaaayyy...

David Cook
Song: Innocent
Judge, jury and executioner: Randy said it wasn't his strongest week, and he didn't get it. Paula said he was still really good tonight, and she believes in him. Simon said he didn't like the performance at all and it was teensy bit pompous.
I think: This is the first time I can remember not liking him at all. He could be in trouble.

Carly Smithson
Song: The Show Must Go On
Judge, jury and executioner: Randy said it was just OK. Paula said she wasn't feeling the connection tonight. Simon said she looks good but it was an unusual choice of song and she lost control of it.
I think: Here she goes again with the over-singing. And Put. Some. Sleeves. On.

David Archuleta
Song: Angels
Judge, jury and executioner: Randy said "this was David Archuleta's hottest moment" tonight. Paula agreed with Randy. Simon said it was the best song choice of the night, but it wasn't his best vocal. He admitted he was nitpicking, though.
I think: He sounded great tonight. Beautiful song, too.

Brooke White
Song: You've Got a Friend
Judge, jury and executioner: Randy said he liked it, but it wasn't her best performance. Paula said it's one of her favorite songs growing up, and she was "definitive." Simon said it was "a pleasant walk in the park" and it was "nice."
I think: She is not bringing anything to this song, plus she's kind of holding back.

Best of the night: JASON!

"Idol" elimination night

2008-04-02T20:12:00.002-05:00

This is getting really hard to write about every week. I would like to comment on picking Dolly Parton as a mentor, though. She seems like a lovely person, and obviously talented (again, she has WRITTEN 3,000 SONGS!), but she is not very current, and it seems like it was challenging for too many of the contestants.
And, why for the love of God won't they get rid of this call-in segment? It is torture every week!
It was funny that someone asked Simon why he apologizes for negative critiques though.
Man, those Clark Brothers sure suck, eh?
I am starting to enjoy the Ford commercials though. What? They are cute!
I think Kristy is starting to overdo the "poor me, I'm always in the bottom three thing."
This Bo Bice guy is quite the character. I never saw him on the show when he was on.
Brooke and Jason walk out like they are going to prom, hee.
The bottom three is Kristy, Ramiele and Brooke.
The "Idol Gives Back" moment is the story of two sisters reunited in Africa. It really is an awesome film.
Dolly Parton just said "I got Jesus and you got Simon!"

Ramiele goes home tonight.

'American Idol' meets Dolly Parton

2008-04-02T19:24:00.002-05:00

Ryan Seacrest starts out the night with an April Fool's joke. Hee hee.

Dolly Parton has written 3,000 songs?!? Holy crap!

Brooke White
Song: Jolene
The Moment of Truth: Randy said she could definitely make a country album besides the pitch problems and rushed delivery. Huh? Paula babbled about her honesty and emotional connection. Simon said it lacked emotion and the group looked odd together and it wasn't the best.
I think: She sounds very much at ease with the material.

David Cook
Song: Little Sparrow
The Moment of Truth: Randy said he showed his vocal range and he liked it. Paula said she liked his haircut?! and she never heard a guy do the song and she liked it. Simon said it wasn't as good as last week, but he made a song about sparrows good. Man, Simon has some kind of problem with birds.
I think: This is his own arrangement. He has been criticized for stealing others' arrangements, but that's the show, dawg. I liked it.

Ramiele Malubay
Song: Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?
The Moment of Truth: Randy said he wasn't jumping up and down but he wasn't mad at her either?!? Weird comments tonight. Paula said she had a great minute and 30 seconds. Simon said "we're not going to remember this in 10 years, are we?" and that it was something you would hear on a cruise ship.
I think: How is she still on this show? She's becoming so average.

Jason Castro
Song: Travelin' Thru
The Moment of Truth: Randy said it got better as it went along. Paula said it was one of his best performances. Simon said he didn't like it at all and if it had been the first time he had seen Jason, he wouldn't get it.
I think: He seems more lively this week. I wonder if he's trying hard enough for Simon.

Carly Smithson
Song: Here You Come Again
The Moment of Truth: Randy said it was one of the better performances of the night. Paula said it was glorious and "that voice of yours - oh my God!" Simon said it was good, not great and that she "needs to have a word with whoever is dressing you."
I think: A good arrangement for her. She irritated me less than she usually does.

David Archuleta
Song: Smoky Mountain Memories
The Moment of Truth: Randy said it was the best performance of the night. Paula said it was amazing and he has a great aura. Simon said it was absolutely on the money, song choice wise.
I think: He sounds really good tonight.

Kristy Lee Cook
Song: Coat of Many Colors
The Moment of Truth: Randy said country music is her wheelhouse, several times. Paula said it was her best performance. Simon said last week was her best performance, and this week was pleasant but forgettable.
I think: She should be nailing this, but she's not.

Syesha Mercado
Song: I Will Always Love You
The Moment of Truth: Randy said she did pretty good taking on the tiger of the night. Paula said her voice has a velvety tone and she is growing. Simon said it was one of the best pop songs ever written and she paled in comparison with the Whitney version.
I think: I could have predicted this one. I am tired of her Whitney Houston fixation.

Michael Johns
Song: It's All Wrong, But It's All Right
The Moment of Truth: Randy said he keeps raising the bar and he was smokin' hot. Paula said the songs are great and he did great with it. Simon said this is the best he has heard him sing.
I think: This is different for him. He does well with it.

Best of the night: Brooke, David Cook, David Archuleta, Michael Johns

'The Hills' and Miley Cyrus -- why, why, WHY?

2008-03-31T14:53:00.002-05:00

This has been a particularly strange week in the world of Pop Culture for me.
First I caught Miley Cyrus on the Kids Choice Awards Saturday. I have never heard a Hannah Montana song, since I am older than 13 myself and don't have daughters. As I watched her perform on Saturday, I simply could not believe what I was hearing! The worst singer on "American Idol" (I'm looking at you Kristy Lee Cook) is many times better than Miley.
She is simply a terrible singer. And it wasn't like her dancing was so great it messed up her singing. Madonna, hell, even Britney Spears in her heyday, did way better dancing and still sang better. Why are people so into this girl? Are there so few role models for girls that every girl has to go to Miley? In the world of Bratz, I guess I already know the answer to that.
Then there is this thing called "The Hills"?!? Now, I grant you, all I have seen of "The Hills" has been on "The Soup," and it's been so annoying that sometimes I have wanted to turn it off in the middle of a short clip. I cannot imagine how bored one has to be to watch a half hour of this nonsense. The last clip I saw the girl was all excited about feathers! What is happening to our youth?
Why do people pay attention to this crap? I really want to know.

Elimnation night for the "Idol" top 10

2008-03-26T21:05:00.004-05:00

The group sing starts off the night and it has a very "Brady Kids" feel to it.
We also get to hear why iTunes is awesome, and how awesome it is to record in a studio. Awesome.
We are also reminded that David Cook was a very ugly baby.
Also David Archuleta is quoted backstage saying that the completely obscure song he sang last night is one of his favorites, as a rebuttal to Simon saying he was sure David did not choose it. This is about David's father, who has been reported to be a nightmare stage dad. I sure hope he doesn't blow his son's chances.
Kimberly Locke came back to sing and brag about her weight loss.
This "Idol Gives Back" thing really is pretty cool.
All this drooling over "God Bless the USA" is really nauseating.
Chikezie goes home tonight.

"American Idol's" top 10

2008-03-25T19:15:00.002-05:00

The theme tonight is a song from the year the contestants were born, so we get cute baby pictures. Smart.

Ramiele Malubay
Song: "Alone"
Judges say: Randy said it was not the right song for her, it was too big for her. Paula said America needs to hear her big voice right now. Randy and Paula both mention her being sick, although they were the ones who sounded sick. Simon said the first part of the song was OK. After last week, if she made it through, she'll be fine this week.
I think: This is a very screechy song. It's giving me a headache.

Jason Castro
Song: "Fragile"
Judges say: Randy liked the song and said it was nice. Paula said it was true to who he is, and it wasn't a big "wow," a little safe. Simon said he's had two bad weeks, and he needs to take it a little more seriously. He said he's potentially a winner, but not if he does "that" week after week.
I think: The guitar is back. This is a smart, sophisticated song, and he has a unique arrangement. He is singing in Spanish this time. I love it, Simon is wrong.

Syesha Mercado
Song: "If I Were Your Woman"
Judges say: Randy said it's the best he's ever heard her sing. It was stellar and unbelieveable. Paula said it's going to be remembered as her moment. Everything was perfect. Simon said it was the best was so far, and the end was not as strong. He said the song stretched her vocal limit.
I think: Don't do the creepy baby cry again! I'm done with her boring song choices.

Chikezie
Song: "If Only for One Night"
Judges say: Randy said it was old fashioned and it was too "old school." Paula said he is definitely a throwback, but it's a good throwback. She said it was a great job. Simon said he sang it well but the performance was too cheesy, and it wasn't original.
I think: Another ballad, but it's by a stronger performer. He doesn't bore me, like most people do when they sing the "Idol"y ballads.

Brooke White
Song: "Every Breath You Take"
Judges say: Randy said he didn't like the arrangement. He said it was aight. Paula said she enjoyed her performance, and she has her own niche. Simon said he totally agrees with Randy, and she should have stayed on her own, without the band. He didn't pick on her for the mistake.
I think: She started the song twice. I never say this, but I don't think this song suits her.

Michael Johns
Song: "We Are the Champions"
Judges say: Randy said finally, he has some confidence and uses his voice. He said it was the best performance he has done so far. Paula said "we can all shut our mouths on this one, and it was your moment." Fantastic. Simon said it was the first time he has seen star potential with him. "You just got it right. It's the only memorable performance of the night so far."
I think: He does so much better when he does a Queen or Doors song. It's like a different guy.

Carly Smithson
Song: "Total Eclipse of the Heart"
Judges say: Randy said he liked it but didn't love it. He said it wasn't the wrong song. Paula said she can take every song she doesn't like and make her buy it. She stretched it the end. Simon said the song didn't quite work, and she was too tense. He said she has lighten up a little (not as much as Jason, I assume).
I think: I. HATE. THIS. SONG. And here she goes screaming her head off again. But she was a cute baby. Even though she looks terrible tonight.

OK, the commercial with the talking baby is the most entertaining I have seen tonight. "I really underestimated the creepiness."

David Archuleta
Song: "You're the Voice"
Judges say: Randy said it was a strange song, but it proves his mad skillz and he sing whatever. Paula said he could sing the phone book and we'd fall in love with it. Simon said he didn't like the performance at all, and it was like a theme park performance. He said "it's not you at all!"
I think: He sounds like a Doobie Brother tonight.

Kristy Lee Cook
Song: "God Bless the U.S.A."
Judges say: Randy said it was a very nice performance and he loves the song. Paula called that piece of trash "a very poignant and respectful song." Simon said it was her best performance by a mile. He said it was the most clever song choice in years.
I think: What a desperate move, playing the patriotic card. It's a cheesy, awful song.

David Cook
Song: "Billie Jean"
Judges say: Randy said he is the boldest performer they have ever heard. Blzing molten hot. Paula said he is smart, brave and willing to stretch the boundaries. Simon said it was brave and could have been insane or amazing, and "it was amazing."
I think: A different arrangement, once again. He's ballsy, and I have to admit I love to see what he's going to do next.

The tops this week? Jason Castro, Michael Johns, David Cook

Elimination night on "Idol"

2008-03-19T20:04:00.003-05:00

Ryan reveals this season's mentors: Dolly Parton, Mariah Carey, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Neil Diamond.
Then the group sing, which is less awful than last week, and last night, in a lot of ways.
Brooke first goes the top 10. Carly is the first person put in the bottom three. Randy and Paula are mad at you, America.
David A. is the next one to go to the top 10. Michael defends his singing of "A Day in the Life" before he makes it to the top 10. Kristy is gone, then?
The filler is showing the making of ... the Ford commercial. Blast you, filler! Still, David C. appears to be having the time of his life playing the director. Ramiele describes it as "a fun day off!" Oh girl, you need a life. Still, the commercial is kinda cute.
David C. makes the top 10. Kristy makes the bottom three, again. Jason makes the top 10. Ramiele makes the top 10.
Commercial time. Actually Fox, NO "Unhitcheds" are more than enough.
Tonight the questioner wants to know why Simon doesn't spend any money on clothes. Simon responds it was a rude question. Apparently Simon has a million-dollar car. And he would kiss Paula again. Ramiele likes R. Kelly. Oh, the things we are learning. Michael says "Idol" has been much more stressful than he was expecting.
Next we catch up with Kellie Pickler, who has a really good life now. She performs her song "Red High Heels." It's a little pitchy, dawg. She sings to Simon, who grins at her.
Next Fantasia and Eliot go to Angola to show how the money from last year's "Idol Gives Back " was used. They distribute nets there. Eliot learns that a baby in town was named after him, and he cries. It's sweet.
Syesha makes the top 10. Next, Amanda and Chikezie come out. Chikezie is safe. Amanda is in the bottom three.
Carly makes the top 10. Kristy is the last one in the top 10.
So I guess we won't get that version of "Free Bird" after all.

"Idol" meets the Beatles, part two

2008-03-18T19:14:00.015-05:00

Hey, you know what had something to do with the Beatles and was GOOD? "Across the Universe." Seriously, see it, it rocks.
Now, for this.

Amanda Overmyer
Song: Back in the U.S.S.R.
The peanut gallery: Randy says it was the perfect song for her, but it was pitchy at the beginning. "7 out of 10!" Paula said she was ahead of the beat some, but she was unique. She said she wants to see her do a ballad. Simon said it was predictable, a bit of a mess in parts and she is doing the same thing week after week. He thinks she's in trouble.
I think: I still say this woman has one move, and I am getting tired of it. (Simon and I are together again.)

Kristy Lee Cook
Song: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away
The peanut gallery: Randy said it was an interesting arrangement and it was kind of boring and safe. Paula said it's best to stick with the usual arrangements, and it was too safe. Simon said she needs hypnosis because she's not a good performer, and she's like musical wallpaper. Ugh! She said "the whole Beatles thing" is new to her. Shut up, Kristy.
I think: I don't like the arrangement at all. It's a simple song and she and the band are overdoing it.

David Archuleta
Song: The Long and Winding Road
The peanut gallery: Randy said they audience was right to go crazy because the hotness is back. Still, he said he needs to make it his own. Paula said it was the most exciting performance and it reveals his character to come back from a bad week. Simon said this week he was amazing.
I think: Kind of a boring song, but he's back on his game.

Now, we have live commercials for iPhone and Coke. Sheesh.

Michael Johns
Song: A Day in the Life
The peanut gallery: Randy said it isn't one of his best performances. He has to let his voice take over. Paula said she caught dress rehearsal and it was phenomenal. She thinks the monitors are hurting his performance (but he wasn't wearing it! so she said their is no excuse). Simon said it was a mess, he didn't hit the right notes, and it didn't work as a minute and a half.
I think: He is doing the "woke up, got out of bed" part! I wondered how he'd pull this song together for 90 seconds. He is making a big ol' mess out of it. (Simon and I are in sync again.)

Brooke White
Song: Here Comes the Sun
The peanut gallery: Randy said the performance was awkward, and the "whoo!" kind of slipped out and it didn't gel together. Paula said you can't help but smile when you listen to her, and it showed off her low notes. But she should not play it so safe. Simon said he just knew she'd be wearing yellow, and said the performance was horrible. (She tells the audience not to give the judges a hard time, which is awesome.)
I think: She is not doing much different with the song, but it suits her. I never thought I'd like her so much.

David Cook
Song: Day Tripper
The peanut gallery: Randy said he keeps it interesting, and he's throwing picks in the crowd. He said it was "another solid look for David Cook." Paula said there's nothing else to say, he's ready to go sell records. Simon said it's not as good as David thought it was, the voice box was stupid, and he's lost his element of surprise a little.
I think: He is another surprising person to me. I never thought I'd like him as much as I do, but ever since "Hello" he's been knocking them out of the park (with a voice box no less!). This is the best performance of the night.

Carly Smithson
Song: Blackbird
The peanut gallery: Randy said it was very nice and controlled. He loved it and said it was cool. Paula said the arrangement was beautiful and everyone is challenging each other. Simon said the song choice was not very smart, it was indulgent, and she just totally interrupted him! I don't believe it!
I think: She needs to keep her overwrought voice reined in and do something nice. Now, if she only had kept it up the whole song, and covered up the ugly tattoo. And she really lays on the Irish accent when she's on stage.

Jason Castro
Song: Michelle
The peanut gallery: Randy said it was a good choice, but kind of subdued, and he didn't really connect with it. Paula said he has a distinct charm, and he gets a little disconnected without his guitar. Simon said tonight is a weird show, and it's getting a bit strange. He also said Jason's face sold that, that he's "very charming and not obnoxious."
I think: This is very solid. I loved it.

Syesha Mercado
Song: Yesterday
The peanut gallery: Randy said it was a very good performance and she took some liberties. Paula said she let herself be vulnerable and it sets her apart. Simon said it was her best performance so far, because she chose the best song and arrangement.
I think: This is such an easy song to make boring, and she did it here.

Chikezie
Song: I've Just Seen a Face
The peanut gallery: Randy said it was a weird arrangement (agreed!) and he didn't like the slow part (disagreed!). Paula said it showed all sides of Chikezie. Simon said it started OK but the harmonica was "literally atrocious" and it turns into "Achy Breaky Heart" at the end! Hee! He said it was gimmicky.
I think: I liked it better slow, because the fast version is just like last week's "She's a Woman," which was really great.

Ramiele Malubay
Song: I Should Have Known Better
The peanut gallery: Randy said he liked it and it showed her confidence. Paula said definitely better than last week, but the ballads show her range. Simon said it sounded like Chikezie was on harmonica. He said it was a mediocre song (oh, snap!) and didn't show the best of her ability so "it is what it is."
I think: I love this song, and it's really fun, and she is not ruining it. She's doing better than the last couple of weeks.

I think Michael is out and Jason and David Cook were the best of the night.

This is "American Idol" ... and Jim Carrey?

2008-03-12T20:02:00.003-05:00

First we have Jim Carrey, dressed in a Horton costume, being just sweet as pie. He made a joke about there being an elephant in the room. Remember when Jim Carrey was a big jackass? Well, he still is, but it seems like he is going a different way with it.
Then comes the news that there will be more Lennon/McCartney songs next week. I sure hope y'all liven it up a little, because Chikezie pwned the rest of you last night. During the medley, we see Sanjaya's in the audience! I'm gonna cry!
The recaps from last night made me like Jason's performance more - I know, big surprise.
Those commercials are so painful to watch. How are they not embarrassed by that?
Katharine McPhee, who just annoys the crap out of me, comes back and sings "Something."
The bottom three are Syesha, Kristy and David H.
David Hernandez is voted off. Man, he has a creepy wink.

The Top 12 make John Lennon roll in his gave

2008-03-11T19:24:00.003-05:00

I have dreaded this night ever since I heard this was possible. THIS ... is American Idol, and THESE used to be beloved classic songs. The best quote I ever heard about this subject was on "The Simpsons": Milhouse: Who are the Beatles? Bart: They're ones on all of Maggie's baby records. My problem is I rarely can ever tolerate another person's version of a Beatles song.

Oh, and the stupid new stage. Whee.... The wait is over? Oh, Ryan. Just when I start to tolerate you, you say something like that.

Syesha Mercado
Song: Got to Get You into My Life
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said it was nice arrangement, it started rough (again with the pitchy), but it got better. Paula agrees it started out pitched, but she pulled it together and she was just Syesha. Simon said it was better than all right, but she looked nervous.
I think: My husband say this Earth, Wind and Fire's version. It sounds like Vegas lounge singer.

Chikezie
Song: She's a Woman
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said he was thoroughly entertained, loved the whole arrangement. Chikezie smashed it! Paula said it was a great example of changing it up, and she has been waiting for this. Simon said he's really surprised that he agrees with "these two." He said he controlled the stage. Then Ryan totally spazzed on him. It was cute in a Seacrest kind of way.
I think: We learn that Paula is a good traveler, from the ex-TSA employee. Yikes. The fiddlers was a great idea; this was hot, as Randy would say.

Ramiele Malubay
Song: In My Life
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said it was kind of pretty but it was kind of pretty boring. Paula said she looks lovely (this never seems like a good thing to lead off with), but it was pretty safe and she could have done more with it. Simon said he was bored to tears throughout the entire song. Sorry!
I think: She hits all the notes, but it's boring. It's totally Disney soundtrack.

Jason Castro
Song: If I Fell
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said he liked but didn't love it. He felt the switches in the melody didn't work. Paula said she disagreed, she loved it. She said he makes it better by putting his heart into it. Simon said it was all a bit "student in a bedroom at midnight."
I think: The guitar is back. This is very weak for him; he's having trouble hitting notes.

Carly Smithson
Song: Come Together
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said she obviously felt comfortable and it was a stellar performance. Paula said she already looks like a star. Simon said he felt she had chosen the wrong song every week up 'til now. It reminds him of Kelly Clarkson.
I think: She said she was going to change it up but it sounds pretty routine to me. She's OK.

David Cook
Song: Eleanor Rigby
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said this proved you can rock out on "Idol." Paula said he is the dark horse. Simon said he thought it was brilliant, and for two weeks in a row he has done great. He thinks he could win.
I think: Another different arrangement, but no guitar this time. I like it. But I hate his jacket.

Brooke White
Song: Let it Be
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said what he likes about her is he could picture her practicing that song as a child, but wasn't her strongest performance. Paula said her niche is picking emotional songs, and it makes people fall in love with her. Simon said it was one of the best performances of the night, brilliant song choice, and it was believeable.
I think: I really love this song, and I have to say she's not doing much with it. She is playing the piano, but so what?

David Hernandez
Song: I Saw Her Standing There
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said he overdid it on such a simple song. Paula said she loves his voice, but he overdid it this time, too. Simon said "no, no, no" and it was corny verging on desperate. And it wasn't cool.
I think: He used to work at a pizza bistro, hmm, is that what they are calling that now? He sounds like total karaoke to me. I just don't get his appeal, though he is very gracious about his feedback.

Amanda Overmyer
Song: You Can't Do That
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said she made the song her own. Paula said she having more fun, and she blown away. Simon said he didn't think it was as good as last week, and it got a little bit shouty. He still considers her a breath of fresh air.
I think: As far as I am concerned, she is already on borrowed time. She's not doing that much with this.

Michael Johns
Song: Across the Universe
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said it was a little sleepy, but it was aight. Paula said it takes an inner strength to sing on a bare stage, and it was brilliant. Simon said it was boring and that "the Irish girl" did better. Hee. It's amazing he never knows anyone's name or any of the songs.
I think: It's a pretty good song, but again, not doing enough with it.

Kristy Lee Cook
Song: Eight Days a Week
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said it was kind of wild for him, but vocally she was trying to force some runs into it. Paula said she didn't enjoy it because she didn't get it. Simon said it was horrendous, because she sounded like "Dolly Parton on helium." It was brave but foolish.
I think: I don't hate it. My husband thinks there should be a stagecoach race going on.

David Archuleta
Song: We Can Work it Out
Yo! Judge Judy!: Randy said it was not on point and it is not his vibe. It felt forced. Paula said it wasn't his best week, and he forgot the lyrics. Simon said it was a mess, he forgot the lyrics, and it was all over the place.
I think: Lite FM. David stumbles!

Chikezie blew everyone else out of the water tonight.

The Top 12 Revealed!

2008-03-06T19:22:00.004-06:00

First Blake Lewis comes out and sings his new hit song, which is off key.
Then Ryan talks about the set again, and congratulates Paula on her number one downloaded video.

The first 3 seated are:
David Cook
David Archuleta
Jason Castro

The next to sit down are:
Brooke White
Syesha Mercado

Next, Kady Malloy is voted off. She seems happy to go, but I still have to say, it's sweet how all the contestants seem to be pulling for each other this year. Asia'h cries her eyes out as Kady sings.

After commercial, the next two guys are:
David Hernandez
Michael Johns

Luke is going home. I'll miss his handsome face, but not his singing. Simon looks bored to death as he sings.

The next girls to make the top 12 are:
Ramiele Malubay
Carly Smithson
Amanda Overmyer
Kristy Lee Cook

Poor Asia'h and Kristy Lee had to stand up on stage forever while Ryan read slowly, word by word, the results.

The last person in the top 12 is:
Chikezie

Ramiele cries uncontrollably on Carly's shoulder. Danny cried before he even heard the news at the other results. I was honestly pretty surprised he didn't make it. He was a great personality. I'll miss him, and he is totally kicking ass singing "Tainted Love" again.

Top 8 Girls on Idol

2008-03-06T16:52:00.004-06:00

It's still the '80s. I heard someone say there will be a lot of Paula Abdul songs tonight. My guess is ... not so much.

Asia'h Epperson
Song: I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)
The panel: Randy said it was hot and she proved she should be here. He recorded that song with Whitney. Paula said she's picking big songs and doing them well. You nailed it! Simon is not so enthusiastic, saying at best it was second-rate Whitney Houston. Randy and Paula disagreed.
I think: A crappy song, but she sang it well.

Kady Malloy
Song: Who Wants to Live Forever
The panel: Randy said Queen is really hard to sing but she did the big notes well. The small ones, not so much. Paula said to date it was her best performance. She also disagreed with Randy. Simon said it was definitely better than last week and he said she has a massive lack of personality. He called her a Stepford Wife (hee!), and said she may be in trouble.
I think: Another boring ballad, but she also nailed it.

Amanda Overmyer
Song: I Hate Myself for Loving You
The panel: Randy said this is the Amanda we remember and this is the kind of music she should be picking. "Well done, baby!" Paula said she looked beautiful, and she found her niche. Simon said it was fantastic and she absolutely nailed the song. It was one of his favorite performances of this part of the competition.
I think: She is much, much better this week, but she looks oddly distracted during the judging. Still, the girls are kickin' ass!

Carly Smithson
Song: I Drove All Night
The panel: Randy said he loved it, dude (?). He called her dude repeatedly. Paula said she is the dependable "dawg," and she looks relaxed and her singing is indescribable. Simon said she chose the wrong song, and he can't get away from the Celine version, and it's not a great song that gives her what she deserves.
I think: I honestly cannot believe how good the girls are tonight. Another great performance!

Kristy Lee Cook
Song: Faithfully
The panel: Randy said Journey is very dear to his heart, but she put a country kind of lilt to it and it would be a good single. Paula said it could be a hit, too, and she looks great. Simon said it was good that she used the country influence but she is still forgettable.
I think: When she was 7, she acted like a dog. For a year! Weird. I know they are suddenly "cool," but I have always and always will hate Journey. She has been the weakest of the night.

Ramiele Malubay
Song: Against All Odds
The panel: Randy said it was a big song with big vocals, but she is still thinking too much instead of letting go. Paula said she has such a beautiful face and went off on this weird tangent about mutts. She then pulled it together and said she deserves to be in the top 12. Simon said because she was little and cute it was good, but he found the whole thing predictable.
I think: I love her, but this did not blow me away. It was aight, a little screechy. Plus she looks a little frumpy. How did they make her look frumpy? She's so adorable!

Brooke White
Song: Love is a Battlefield
The panel: Randy said it was very interesting but didn't really bring anything new to the song. Paula said it was a wise choice and it was pure. Simon said it worked because she made it her own.
I think: Pat Benatar is a tall order, I should think, but she did well. I do like her hair better curly, which I guess doesn't really mean anything, but just sayin'.

Syesha Mercado
Song: Saving All My Love for You
The panel: Randy said "good!" Paula said it was sophisticated. Simon said "predictable but good."
I think: I think, as the others, she did well, but I wonder why they chose such boring songs, with few exceptions. I remember the '80s as fun.

Best of the best of the best, sir!: Amanda, Carly, Brooke, Syesha

Idol Top 8 Guys

2008-03-04T19:37:00.006-06:00

It's '80s night for the top eight guys. Boy, Ryan loves talking about that new set.

Luke Menard
Song: Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
The panel: Randy said it started off rough but he pulled it together. Paula said she was surprised he picked the song but she thought he did well with it. Simon said it was weak and "girly" (hee) and there is no way he will make it to the top 12.
I think: I love this song, but he blew it. How is he still on? (I write these during the singing, and it shocks me how often Simon and I agree.)

David Archuleta
Song: Another Day in Paradise
The panel: Randy said it was nice and wondered again about the song choice. Paula said there were a couple notes that were off and it made her feel he wasn't perfect, and that is refreshing. Simon said it wasn't as good as last week. He said it's getting a little gloomy and it's time to lighten up a bit. (David said he wanted to focus on the plight of the homeless. His parents raised him right.)
I think: He looks and sounds more mature this week, which helps us to envision him as a pop star. He plays the piano, too! He is a force to be reckoned with.

Danny Noriega
Song: Tainted Love
The panel: Randy said it started off rough but he was more confident in the end. He also liked the arrangement. Paula said he is a bright light in the competition, that he is sensitive and spicy. Simon said it was horrible and he hated everything about it. (Danny yelled "whatever!" I do love his attitude.)
I think: Ack! Another one of my all-time favorite songs. He overdid it in my opinion, but he looked and sounded more natural than he has before. The guys are having fun. (Simon and I are at odds here.)

David Hernandez
Song: It's All Coming Back to Me Now
The panel: Randy said it was a nice song choice for him, because it was a big song. Paula said he is finding his niche and is one of the best vocalists. Simon said he didn't like it as much as last week but he's definitely in the top 12 with this.
I think: Euw! It's the gay stripper! (Allegedly.) Even before I heard that, I did not like him. Not a lot of masculine singing tonight.

Michael Johns
Song: Don't You (Forget About Me)
The panel: Randy loved it and said it was the right song for him. (He also said "you remind me of Michael Hutchence," who, it should be pointed out, did not sing this song.) Paula said she is defining himself and showed off his low range. Simon said he liked but didn't love it and he hasn't connected with the right song.
I think: He's off tonight. Still, I like him, and hope he will coast on his previous performances.

David Cook
Song: Hello
The panel: Randy said he loved that it was an emo version of a Lionel Ritchie song. Paula said she loves him because it was a surprise and would be a hit today. Simon said it was a very brave thing to do and he loved it. He liked that it was risky.
I think: Why is he playing an electric guitar while singing Lionel Ritchie? It's so weird!

Jason Castro
Song: Hallelujah
The panel: Randy said it was a great song and challenging as well. Paula said he showed vulnerability, and she likes his uniqueness. Simon said the Jeff Buckley version is one of his all-time favorite songs. (No pressure, yikes!) He said it was brilliant and it was his strongest performance so far.
I think: I love the song and I thought he was great doing it.

Chikezie
Song: All the Woman I Need
The panel: Randy said he thought it was an interesting song choice but he was surprisingly good. Paula said she was waiting for something up tempo. Simon said it didn't work at all.
I think: He's really pulled it together after that terrible orange suit a few weeks ago.

The best of the best of the best, sir!: David Cook (especially compared to the rest of the guys tonight), Jason Castro (again!), Chikezie

"Idol" results night

2008-02-28T21:25:00.004-06:00

As the top 20 sing their little medley, the only one to get much of a reaction is David A. Everyone, it seems loves David A.
The first person voted off is Jason Y. The next to go is Alexandrea. I can totally live with these two choices. Heh, Alexandrea just called Ryan a freak, and as she sang David A. cried. How sweet.
The Lennon/McCartney songbook has finally been released for the Idols to mangle. Ouf.
Alaina leaves next. She sobs and says she can't sing as her family shoots dirty looks at the judges. It's really sweet how close all these people seem to be. What? I mean it. She finally sings.
"Idol Gives Back" is coming back this year. Oh good, I haven't been crying nearly enough lately.
Robbie is the last one voted off. I didn't care for him.

Top 10 Girls on Idol

2008-02-27T20:58:00.002-06:00

That '70s Show

Carly Smithson
Song: Crazy on You
Judges? Randy said the beginning was problematic but it came together at the end so it was "aight." Paula said she could tell that Carly loves Heart and she was amazing. Simon said it was a much better performance than last week, but Carly has not chosen the right song. But he said when she does, watch out.
I think: Literally the first time I have been impressed by her.

Syesha Mercado
Song: Me and Mr. Jones
Judges? Randy said Syesha should pick songs that use her voice well. She struggled on the softer notes. Paula agreed that she is not as good on the softer notes, but she liked it. Simon said it was a bit indulgent and silly because the song wasn’t written for a girl. He was put off.
I think: OK, it must be acknowledged that she can do a baby cry. Cree-py. But I still love her.

Brooke White
Song: You’re So Vain
Judges? Randy said it was a great song choice, but she didn’t bring much to it. Randy and Paula thinks she was singing to Simon. Paula said it was perfect for her. Simon said he absolutely loved it, and it was one of the rare occasions when the singer and song matched.
I think: I really want to hate this skinny blondie, but she is pretty good.

Ramiele Malubay
Song: Don’t Leave Me This Way
Judges? Randy said it was just OK because the song choice was off. Paula said Ramiele is one to beat, but the song didn’t allow her to perform her magic. Simon said astonishingly he agrees with Paula, and the song bugged him because he’s heard it so often at “ghastly weddings.” She is also one of the best three singers, according to Simon.
I think: She is so adorable, and such a wonderful singer. I thought she was better than they did.

Kristy Lee Cook
Song: You’re No Good
Judges? Randy said it’s 100 percent improvement from last week, and he liked it. Paula said “you’re back” three times and it was a good song choice. Simon said he couldn’t remember what she sang last week, and this is more memorable. Simon also thinks she should go down the country route and it will serve her better.
I think: I think I know what they mean by “pagaenty” now. She’s competent, but just doesn’t move me.

Amanda Overmyer
Song: Carry On Wayward Son
Judges? Randy said it wasn’t the right song choice and there are too many instrumental breaks. Paula said she has to do what is right for her, and this wasn’t it. Simon felt in the film she was natural and then everything felt contrived, including the “terrible hair.” He couldn’t wait for it to finish.
I think: She is way off key. I mean, I can hear it. She’s gone.

Alaina Whitaker
Song: Hopelessly Devoted to You
Judges? Randy said the song was wrong for her and she sounded pitchy in the verses. Paula said she could tell she loves the song and she did a real good job. Simon said he likes her but it’s as if her grandmother prepared her for the audition. It’s too old fashioned.
I think: Alaina and Kristy Lee cancel each other out. Still, she sounded good with this song.

Alexandrea Lushington
Song: If You Leave Me Now
Judges? Randy asked her “what did you think?,” and she said “it’s over!” Randy said she didn’t challenge herself enough. Paula said she did let go. Simon said he was a big fan of hers early on, but she is struggling now. He said she is stuck in the time period.
I think: I don’t think she brings anything to the table.

Kady Malloy
Song: Magic Man
Judges? Randy said she never found the pitch and it didn’t work. Paula said when she powered up she sounded great but on the soft notes she lost it. Simon said he’s frustrated because her film is so great but then when she came out she was a bad imitation of Christina. Simon said she also has to find the right song.
I think: This is the third blondie. I can’t tell them apart. They bore me. And she’s out of tune.

Asia’h Epperson
Song: All By Myself
Judges? Randy said considering how hard the song was, she did well. Paula said it was great even though she had some problems. Simon said it’s a diva song and she just didn’t pull it off. It was too big for her.
I think: I don’t think she could have picked a worse song if she tried. Terrible.

Tonight's highlights: Carly, Syesha, Brooke, Ramiele

Top 10 Guys on Idol

2008-02-26T19:15:00.003-06:00

Michael Johns
Song: Go Your Own Way
Judges? Randy said it was solid and he liked it. Paula said he has been consistent, and this was the same. Simon said it was the wrong song and his weakest performance.
I think: He showed some range here, but it got worse as it went along.

Jason Castro
Song: I Just Want To Be Your Everything
Judges? Randy said the whole package was all right but the singing was not great. Paula said it wasn't as bad as Randy heard it to be. Paula and Randy want to see him without the guitar, though. Simon thought the song was too schmaltzy, and he looked very uncomfortable.
I think: He made the song his own. I like this guy. (Dare I admit Andy Gibb was my first concert? I think I just did.)

Luke Menard
Song: Killer Queen
Judges? Randy said he picked a very difficult song and sang it well. Paula said she was glad he was better this week. Simon shushed the crowd, and said he chose the wrong song, which will always be unfavorably compared to the original.
I think: He did much better this week, and I don't mind that a bit, because he is quite nice to look at.

Robbie Carrico
Song: Hot Blooded
Judges? Randy said it didn't have enough "HUH!" because it was one of his favorite songs. Paula said it must make him crazy to be told he's not authentic, but he played it safe. Simon said Robbie shouldn't be defensive and he thought the vocal was OK tonight.
I think: As my husband said, "I'm not sure it's possible to make this song worse, but he's right there."

Danny Noriega
Song: Superstar
Judges? Randy said he overthought it and didn't use his vibrato well. Paula reminded Danny of his amazing vocal skill, but she agreed he overthought it. Simon said it was better, but he was trying so hard. Simon did say he is interesting, though.
I think: He is better than last week, doing a song I hate, no less. Remember when Chris Farley and David Spade sang this in "Tommy Boy"?

David Hernandez
Song: Papa Was a Rolling Stone
Judges? Randy said "this is the David Hernandez we fell in love with." Paula gave him a standing ovation. She said he has a pure voice and it was perfect. Simon said it was the best vocal of the night so far, and that David takes criticism well.
I think: What is it with the eyebrows, dude? It may not be fair, but I can't stand this douchebag. He is wearing a suit jacket over a hoodie. He should get voted off for that alone!

Jason Yaeger
Song: Long Train Runnin'
Judges? Randy said it was the wrong song and came off very karaoke. Paula said it was fun to see this side of him, but the song did not show his vocal range. Both said it was not a singer's song. Simon said last week was boring and this week was awkward and corny. Simon said he is a quite-good singer who can't perform.
I think: I don't like him.

Chikezie
Song: I Believe to My Soul
Judges? Randy said "Chikezie is back!" and "it was blazin'!" Paula said it was brilliant. Simon said the song choice was clever and it was a million times better than last week, then Chikezie insulted him so he decided he didn't like him again (hee).
I think: He was cool!

David Cook
Song: All Right Now
Judges? Randy said it was a smart choice of song and he was rockin'. Paula said he is the real deal. Simon said it was solid and believeable, but that his video, when he said he likes doing crosswords, didn't do him any favors.
I think: I like him better with the electric guitar, but listen to Simon. Crosswords? Bor-ing.

David Archuleta
Song: Imagine
Judges? Randy said it's about the young ones and this is one of the best vocals he's ever heard on the show. Paula said he is ridiculous and she wants to dangle him ... from her rearview mirror. She said it was one of the most moving performances she has ever seen. Simon said it was very risky, but it worked, he is the one to beat and "there are 19 very miserable contestants here now."
I think: He's probably technically the best singer of the boys, maybe of all, but it must be pointed out that he changed the words to a JOHN LENNON SONG!

Best of the night: Jason Castro, Luke, Chikezie, David A.

SNL is funny again!

2008-02-25T12:49:00.002-06:00

Tina Fey hosted. There were several great moments, but the fake commercial for "Annuale" was my favorite.

80th Annual Academy Awards

2008-02-24T18:51:00.005-06:00

Obeservations on the Oscar show:

The skinny women needs to pay attention to Alexandra Bryne, the costume design winner. That's what happens when you never eat and tan too much. You end up looking like that.
I don't really want to be reminded Barbra Streisand won an Oscar.
Ah, "Ratatouille." Pixar does it again. Sweet speech, Brad Bird.
"La Vie en Rose" wins for makeup. I was surprised "Sweeney Todd" wasn't nominated here.
If this "Happy Working Song" wins over the "Once" song, I am not going to be happy.
My kids are really ticked that "Transformers" did not win for visual effects. I am pleased that ads will not say tomorrow "OSCAR WINNER 'Transformers.'" And if it had won, Michael Bay would have never stopped talking about it. Although I liked The Rock's joke about the face-melting scene in "Raiders of the Lost Ark."
Hell yeah, "Sweeney Todd!" It's just art direction, but it's cool.
Does Johnny Depp's girlfriend have a missing front tooth?
Javier Bardem - awesome! His speech is in Spanish! Who else could do that?
The Oscar salutes to binoculars and periscopes and bad dreams were funny. This is going well.
Wow, the bee in "Bee Movie" is on. The bee is happy for you, "Peter and the Wolf" people in the back row, whose names the announcer just mispronounced.
First surprise of the night! Tilda Swinton! I will never believe she was born a woman. She is giving a wonderful speech.
Jessica Alba was the Techie geek cover girl this year. That whole thing is pretty creepy.
Adapted Screenplay for the Coens. I called it!
Michael Bay sighting! Boooooo!
Miley Cyrus is more comfortable on that stage than anyone I have seen tonight, including Jon Stewart.
Another boring "Enchanted" song that had better not beat out the "Once" song.
The sound editing award goes to "People being punched by Matt Damon for two hours." Still no "Transformers" Oscars! YES!
Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill are hysterically arguing over which of them is Halle Berry. Someone will write that this is undignified but these bits really save the show from being a complete bore.
And it's official. No "Transformers" Oscars. Thank God for Matt Damon, for more than one reason.
Second surprise of the night! Julie Christie gets beaten by the French chick, who is really beautiful.
Hee, Jon Stewart was playing Wii coming back from commercial. He said "am I supposed to be winded?" Well, probably not, but you aren't alone.
Woo! "Once"! Glen Hansard is wearing the exact same thing he wore to the Independent Spirit Awards. Marketa Irglova was wearing jeans last night, so she is not.
Boy, "The Bourne Ultimatum" is cleaning up.
Nicole Kidman IS pregnant, right?
Here is the third "Enchanted" song. Boy, this guy is boring. And is just me, or does the "Patrick Dempsey" dancer look a little like a Frankenstein? I guess these people didn't know there was more than one song in "Once."
Glen and Marketa won! Hooray! Glen was soo cool! They cut Marketa's mike! What the hell?! Then Jon Stewart says "Wow, that guy is so arrogant!" He brought Marketa back on, which is awesome.
I'm losing interest fast here. It was a nice touch to have the Iraq soldiers introduce the documentary short subject category, though.
If you ask me, Diablo Cody is way overdoing the cute girl trying to look bad thing. That tattoo is atrocious.
Man, we think today's stars dress weird. How about that Bette Davis? Was she wearing a giant Hershey's kiss as a hat?
Daniel Day Lewis bowed to Helen Mirren. And it was cute.
Way to go, Coens! "Henry Kissinger, Man on the Go" sounds awesome by the way.
And it's a wrap. "No Country for Old Men" continues the streak of ultra-violent Best Pictures, after last year's "The Departed."

First Elimination Round of "American Idol"

2008-02-21T21:41:00.001-06:00

First Ryan banters with the judges. Then we get a music video with the top 24 getting treated like the stars many of them will never become. The filler is back!
The first elimination round features the group songs "Needles and Pins," "Spanish Harlem" and "Bend Me, Shape Me." It's cheeseball as ever.
Next we recap the top 12 guys. Then we say goodbye to Garrett. Thank you, America.
The next to go is Amy. America, you are so wise. Ryan does the switcheroo where he called Kristy up, and then told her she was safe, first. That's just mean.
Now we have a music video from Randy's new album featuring Paula Abdul, who would never win this competition. She's a little pitchy, dawg.
The next girl voted off is Joanne. The girls are all crying.
Colton is the last to go. Oh my God, the boys are crying, too.
America did aight. OK, that's enough of Randy-isms for the night.

Top 12 Girls on "Idol"

2008-02-20T20:03:00.010-06:00

The Hell of '60s Night continues

Kristy Lee Cook
Song: Rescue Me
Survey says: Randy thinks it wasn't her best performance. Pitchy. Paula said she shouldn't let them see her sweat. She has the flu and went first, but she has to make sure to hide that. Simon said she was robotic, and that Paula has performed while sick, so Kristy should be able to.
I think: Bor-ing!

Joanne Borgella
Song: I Say a Little Prayer
Survey says: Randy said it was pretty good, she got it together at the end. She seemed unsure. Paula said she was not as confident. Simon didn't like it at all. He said she has to come out and nail it, and her parents give him the death stare.
I think: I like her. Not her best moment, but she won't be the worst tonight.

Alaina Whitaker
Song: More Today than Yesterday
Survey says: Randy said it's the year of the young ones and it was like "what?!" Paula said she was very joyful. Simon said he hated the song but she was really good, and she'll sail through to the next round.
I think: To me she is a dead ringer for Carrie Underwood, which seems bad. She performed well though.

Amanda Overmyer
Song: Baby, Please Don't Go
Survey says: Randy loved it, and the trousers. Paula said she loves everything she does. Simon said he really likes her, too. He does wonder if she forgot the lyrics, and said it wasn't her best.
I think: I can't understand her half the time. The band is louder than her. She has stage presence though, and is totally unique.

Amy Davis
Song: Where the Boys Are
Survey says: Randy said she didn't scoop up the notes properly. Whatever. Paula said the camera loves her (hell yeah), but it was lackluster. Simon said the song was boring and cabaret.
I think: She is all over the place, and seems out of tune to me. Too bad, she's gorgeous. Worst of the night so far.

Brooke White
Song: Happy Together
Survey says: Randy said it started a little rough and it came together at the end. She "slayed" it by the end. Paula said it's about originality and she has her own thing. She said she picked the right song. Simon said he feels like he's in a commercial for "washing up liquid" from the '60s. He said he presumes she is going to be nice and Brooke asks "is that OK?" and he said "not really."
I think: She sounds solid to me.

Alexandrea Lushington
Song: Spinning Wheels
Survey says: Randy said she blew the doors off that and it was hot. Paula said she controlled the whole performance and she was very confident. Simon didn't get it, the vocals weren't great and it was like one of those horrible little '60s musicals.
I think: She's off key. Love the dancing and the peace-sign earring is to die for. though.

Kady Malloy
Song: A Groovy Kind of Love
Survey says: Randy said the song was OK, too restrained and controlled, and she got lost a little in the song. Paula said she looks really pretty, but she wants to see the fun Kady. Simon agrees with Paula and said it was "like 'Night of the Living Dead.'" He said she has to lighten up.
I think: She has weird, dead eyes, and she's boring.

Asia'h Epperson
Song: Piece of My Heart
Survey says: Randy said she made the song her own. Paula said she had some really good moments. Simon said it was his favorite of the night, because she let go.
I think: She is kicking ass. She made the song original.

Ramiele Malubay
Song: You Don't Have to Say You Love Me
Survey says: Randy said she took her time, and built it up to the end. Very classy, almost like a pro. Paula said she is a force to be reckoned with, and performed well. Simon said he didn't like her when he first saw her, but tonight she outsung (sic) everyone.
I think: Best of the night so far.

Syesha Mercado
Song: Tobacco Road
Survey says: Randy said it's not his favorite performance, but it was consistent. Paula said she was definitely consistent. Simon agrees not the best performance, but it doesn't matter because she is probably one of the most talented girls. She tried hard, which was lacking in some of the others.
I think: She and Ramiele are my favorites of the women. Syesha is so kick ass, she has a great look, and she's powerful but not annoying, like some "big" singers.

Carly Smithson
Song: The Shadow of Your Smile
Survey says: Randy said that's what the show is all about, and she is the best vocal of the top 24. Paula said she is the lucky coin in the pocket, she is reliable. Simon said he didn't get it, and there's so much hype about her, but it was a letdown.
I think: I think she's too much, personally, but the judges love her.

Best of the night: Brooke, Asia'h, Ramiele, Syesha

Top 12 Guys on "Idol"

2008-02-19T20:14:00.009-06:00

Tonight features songs from the '60s.

David Hernandez
Song: In the Midnight Hour
Survey says: Randy liked it, but says it fell apart a bit at the end. Paula said he had a perfect vibrato. Simon says "loosen up a bit."
I think: Too loungy, although it could just be the '60s night.

Chikezie
Song: More Today than Yesterday
Survey says: Randy says he needs to keep it fresh, because he is an old-fashioned singer. Paula loves the way he looks and sings. Simon hated the performance and said he was cheesy. Chikezie interrupts Simon repeatedly.
I think: Simon was totally right.

David Cook
Song: Happy Together
Survey says: Randy says he worked it out, and it was crazy! Paula says he was worthy. Simon said it was good, but "shouty" in the middle.
I think: I don't get this guy's hair.

Jason Yeager
Song: Moon River
Survey says: Randy said the song is deceptively simple. He says stay in it. Paula said it is sentimental to her because she had her first ballet recital to the song. Simon said it was very cruise ship and he's like a dependable dog, and he doesn't mean a "d-a-w-g" dog.
I think: He sounds like someone on a Disney album.

Hey! It's that commercial with Zach Braff as the puppy obsessed with ass!

Robbie Carrico
Song: One
Survey says: Randy says "nice one." It's one of his favorite Three Dog Night "joints." Paula said he picked the perfect song. Simon said it's the only current performance of the night.
I think: This has been the first interesting song/performance of the night.

David Archuleta
Song: Shop Around
Survey says: Randy said it was really brilliant and he sang the song maturely. Paula said it was a brave and bold choice of song, and she forgets how old he is when he sings. Simon said "when you got it, you got it." He calls it the best performance of the night.
I think: Man, this boy can sing. At this point it's impossible to believe he won't make the top 12.

Danny Noriega
Song: Jailhouse Rock (on '60s night?)
Survey says: Randy said the vocals were OK. "It was kinda hot." Paula said it was very warm. This was a safer song for him. Simon says it was verging on grotesque and the whole performance was hideous. They argued a lot about this.
I think: He's better than this song.

Luke Menard
Song: Everybody's Talkin' at Me
Survey says: Randy said it was very pitchy and sharp all the way through. It never settled. Paula agreed, and said it was not the best song for him. She wants him to pick better songs. Simon said it was forgettable. "You fell into the absolute worst trap you could, which is no one is going to remember you."
I think: Such a babe, but such a bore.

Colton Berry
Song: Suspicious Minds
Survey says: Randy says he struggled at the beginning, but all in all it was good. Paula said it was nice to see a different side of him, but it wasn't his best. Simon said it was not relevant and was a complete waste of time. He also made a crack about hair, and Ryan called Simon's hair a "box cut."
I think: More Elvis? Ugh. I hate '60s night.

Garrett Haley
Song: Breakin' Up is Hard to Do
Survey says: Randy said he didn't do anything with it. Paula agreed and said it was too slow. Simon said it was boring and whiny, and he looked terrified. Simon said he needed fresh air.
I think: Gawd. Horrid.

Jason Castro
Song: Daydream (with his guitar)
Survey says: Randy said he liked that he tried something different. it didn't blow him away but it was all right. Paula said he did blow her away and it was effortless and joyful. Simon said it was in the top two performances of the night.
I think: Nice. He really looked the part tonight. Wow, I am totally with Simon tonight.

Michael Johns
Song: Light My Fire
Survey says: Randy said it was a great way to end the night. He said he's like Michael Hutchence. Paula said he did set the night on fire. Simon said he is the most consistent performer this year and he has the charisma of a lead singer.
I think: To quote Elvis, a hunka hunka burnin' love. He is cool.

Best of the night: David A., Jason, Michael, Robbie. I'd be hard pressed to pick two more to make the top six.

It's ... the ... top ... 24

2008-02-13T20:16:00.005-06:00

OK. I love Hayden Christensen as much as the next girl (and don't kid yourselves, guys, girls LOVE him), but these "Jumper" promos are getting really embarrassing.

Each person is brought in to face the music. Ha ha, I joke. This is an hour of watching people get their dreams crushed or fulfilled. But everyone knows that by now.

Top 12 girls
Carly
Amanda
Kristy Lee
Brooke W.
Alexandrea
Ramiele
Syesha
Cady
Amy
Alaina
Asia'h
Joanne

Top 12 guys
David C.
David A.
Danny
Jason
Luke
Michael
Robbie
Garrett
Chikezie
Jason
David H.
Colton

I'll miss Josiah, although I think I'm alone there, since most other blogs calls him "annoying emo crying kid." I hope he stops sleeping in his car, anyway.
Simon's going to miss Kyle.

First night of Hollywood week

2008-02-12T19:46:00.004-06:00

Ryan announces that the Hollywood round will be different this year. No one will be cut the first two days, but the third day, two thirds of the 164 people chosen will be going home.
They bring the first girl out, with a piano. Brooke is first. What pressure! She gets through.
Lorena, Amy, Leo all get nos, for the time being. Alisha, Micheal, Alyssa, Shaun, Jake (playing the drums!) all get rejected as well.
David is next. He just sings, and he does a great job. He seems like a star already. David gets "a hundred fazillion percent yes." That seems pretty good. He's through.
Amanda has just been a car accident, and she has staples in her head. She seems older to me, not like a 23-year-old. To be honest, I didn't like her schtick the first time, but the judges love her. Simon does tell her to expand her repertoire.
Simon warns "don't forget the lyrics." Buck, Cardin, Natashia forget the lyrics.
Ghaleb fails to impress the second time. His voice is off, and Simon thought he was terrible or corny.
This was the end of day one.
Josiah was the kid who lived in his car. I really hope he makes it. He sings this song that he must have written. It's great. The judges love him.
Danny, Ramiele, Carly, Michael all get through. They all sound great.
David gets through, barely. Simon is not thrilled.
Colton and Robbie get through singing Bryan Adams. Oy, it must be a drag listening to these people all do the same song.
Kyle is the nerdy politician kid. He got a room with two girls. Simon walks out. Yow.
Forty-eight already made it through. Didn't he say he wanted 50? That means there are only two spots left.
One hundred sixteen to go face their final shot. Simon warns it's going to be brutal.
Suzanne and Perrie are paired because they are both single parents. And they're both out.
David and Paul make it. Then a bunch of other people make it too. (They weren't named.)
After the commercial, a montage of people not making it.
Jeffrey made it through. He was such a sweetheart.
Now for the last chance.
David is first. He's 16. Randy likes him best. Simon raves about him, which is sweet.
Kyle impresses all three of them, too.
Joey had a migraine all morning. I have migraines so I feel terrible for him. He didn't make it.
Syesha makes it through. She is so lovely.
Michael sings "Bohemian Rhapsody." Awesome! He makes it through.
This Carly, who the judges clearly love, is next. She walks on stage and they start smiling.
Asia'h also makes it through.
Josiah is the last person of the day. He sings "Stand By Me" without the band. The kid who lives in his car makes it through, despite a bad performance.
To be continued...

It's the last night of auditions

2008-02-06T19:41:00.001-06:00

We start right off with terrible people. Not a good sign for the night.
Amy is gorgeous, and she sings "Blue Bayou." She gets in, with the possibility of her future.
Tiffany is wearing an awful dress and sings the weirdest scales I have ever heard. She starts singing this church song, horribly. Ugh.
Next we meet this weirdo love triangle. Chris and Cory are brothers. They do a rap, and it was cheeseball. Then Ashley, their girlfriend -- ick, comes in with a puppy and Simon kisses it. Her singing is "torture," according to Simon. The guys put her up to it. None of these people get through. She is very cheery about it.
Cardin is a waitress and she's pretty good. Simon says she's too theatrical, but Randy and Paula like her.
JoAnne sings a Celine Dion song, and she gets through.
Alesha also sings Celine, and she is really lousy. She has this stupid little girl voice. Simon calls her audition dreadful. They all say learn a Dolly Parton song and Ryan tries to teach her "9 to 5." She comes back to sing "Islands in the Stream." Wow, they really know their stuff. She sounds much better doing the Dolly Parton song! Simon says he hates to admit it but they were right! She gets through.
Montage of people singing badly. One guy adds swears to the song.
Josh calls himself J Smoove. He sings a song called "Beautiful Lady." Simon says "that was catchy," dripping with sarcasm. Then he calls him "revolting." Simon offers to sweep up the rose petals and he says "what do I do with this thing?" It's called a broom, Simon.
Chikezie has auditioned before. Randy wasn't feeling him. This time he gets through. He has clearly improved, because he was good!
Danny has been here before too. He is quite the femme, but he's more confident this time. He sings "Proud Mary," a weird choice.
One hundred and sixty four people make it to Hollywood.

Hotlanta

2008-02-05T19:48:00.001-06:00

First we meet Ryan's parents.

Joshua is going to show the judges something they haven't seen in the other contestants. Weird, demonic eyes, apparently. He can't do it without the eyes. My husband says he's like Tenacious D. He makes it by facing away form the audience. "Is he going to sing with his back turned?" asked Simon, who admitted he was afraid of Joshua.
J.P. auditioned right behind Carrie Underwood before. He stinks. Simon says his pen has more charisma. No way.
A montage of people who Paula couldn't turn down. Whatever.
Next is Asia'h, whose father just died. She sang very well but wore it on her sleeve as well. And it appears she missed his funeral for her audition. Ick. The judges are all blown away by this, but I think it's terribly opportunistic of her. Still, she's not a bad singer.
After commercial we have a beauty queen who wore her crown. Brooke was a good singer, better than pageants I think. After she leaves Simon and Randy admitted they found her very annoying, and Simon wanted her to be bad.
Montage of people actually singing "Glamorous" worse than Fergie.
Eva starts singing and promptly falls down. Her singing is awful. They think it's an act, but she insists it's not a joke. She's crying.
Alexandrea brought her 93-year-old grandma. She's 16, she sings "My Funny Valentine" and her very loud family screams as Ryan sits with Grandma.
Nathan makes fun of the people who lose. Bad omen. He makes fun of Simon mercilessly. But he also stinks.
Next is Amanda, who is a scary looking nurse. I would be afraid if she came to my house. She does look good, but she sings Janis Joplin, which is not usually a good sign. She gets through, everyone likes her.
After the commercial, we get Josiah, who lives in his car. He's only 18. He sings his own song, with a British accent. I hope he calls his family. He is fantastic. He was my favorite from today.
Twenty made it from Atlanta.

Welcome to Miami

2008-01-30T19:37:00.002-06:00

We're in Miami.
Shannon has never had anyone tell her she sings badly before, but it's unbelievable to us! Wow, she just overdoes a Janis Joplin song, and I mean, think about that. I know I didn't like it, but I am relieved to hear the judges don't either.
Robbie used to be in a boy band. He's a little flat but they all say yes. Maybe it's after that awful Shannon.
Ghaleb does a Marc Anthony song, better than Marc Anthony if you ask me. And he is quite handsome. Simon says no, but the other two say yes. Paula hugs him.
Corliss sings really well. She's beautiful too. Brittany sings "My Guy." She is also lovely and sings really well, too. These two girls are best friends and they are the best contestants so far, in my opinion, definitely tonight at least. They both get in. Love their families too, so much!
Suzanne is a single mom. She sings "I Can't Make You Love Me." She gets in.
Ramiele sings for someone about three times her size. She sings Aretha Franklin. She gets in, and he dad is adorably happy for her.
Syesha's father just graduated from rehab, and she is a very happy person. She gets in. Natashia sings "At Last" and also gets in. Ilsy Lorena also gets in, easily.
Lots of bad boys.
Julie was on "American Juniors," which I have never heard of, but Simon loves it. They don't like her, but she won't stop singing. Paula says "no one's ever said no to her."
Brandon comes in with this crazy entrance, and then starts taking of his clothes and singing "I'll Make Love to You" to Paula. Simon calls him desperate, and Randy and Simon walk off.
Seventeen make it from Miami.

Omaha! Represent!

2008-01-29T19:51:00.003-06:00

It's Omaha, and Paula's plane has been delayed.
Chris is up first. He wants to explode so little happiness sparks go everywhere. Or something. He brought Randy a big stuffed dog. Simon threw his. And the guy is crying now. Boy is he flat. He did a handstand. Simon appeased him by promising him he can report from the red carpet. He is more excited about this than the singing, I think.
Have you noticed that every city's convention center looks the same? I remember this from the Star Wars conventions.
Jason is too nervous. He seems to have forgotten the words. He has sung the same Michael Bolton sounding thing three times now. He makes it, but Simon warns him to never do that again.
Montage of people forgetting the lyrics.
Rachael is an arm-wrestling champ and a good singer. She gets through.
Ryan's bicep is hardcore.
Back from commercial. A guy is screaming with an acoustic guitar.
Sarah, or Lady Morgue, is scary. My husband says she is like Cruella DeVil. Paula said yes! I think she was afraid of her.
Ryan is switching places with Paula now.
Samantha doesn't know if she can win. She sounds like Norah Jones, doing Norah Jones. Ryan is out again now. She made it.
A bunch of people make it through.
Angelica misses her parents. Simon tells her to imagine Randy in a bikini. She mimics Celine Dion. She gets through. Her dad on the phone says "it's bad ass" that she is going to Hollywood as a little boy giggles.
Daughtry's followers are next. Yow. David gets through doing a very slow Bon Jovi song. It's boring.
Johnny looks like James Brown, according to my husband. Paula has the hiccups. Simon said "in every single way, that was what he hated."
Tonight's song is "Stuck in the Middle with You." Bad.
Leo is entertaining. He is also good, and has a great look. He goes to Hollywood and he cries. He is so sweet.
Nineteen go to Hollywood.
Tomorrow is Miami Beach.

The Screen Actors Guild Awards

2008-01-27T19:36:00.001-06:00

Notes from possibly the only award show this season.
Best actor in a drama series: James Gandolfini. Who am I to begrudge Tony Soprano his SAG Award?
Is Nikki Blonsky adorable or what?
Stupid dress, Debra Messing.
Doesn't "and the actor goes to..." sound stupid?
Best actress in a drama series: Edie Falco. People are missing "The Sopranos" tonight.
Brought to you by Slim Fast, Nutri System and L'oreal hair color. Well, that makes sense.
Did you know the guy who plays Sal on "Mad Men" is gay in real life? Just read that.
Outstanding Ensemble in a drama series: The cast of "The Sopranos." Geez a loo ...
My god that "La Vie En Rose" actress is breathtaking. ... and Javier Bardem is far more handsome than I ever would have believed. He never looks good in his movies!
Female actor in a comedy series: Tina Fey. She is so awesome! Hopefully this will make up for the stupid audience not getting her joke when she presented before. She thanked Alec Baldwin and compared herself to a hat rack.
Female actor in a comedy series: Alec Baldwin. Well, Fred Astaire and the hat rack won.
Outstanding ensemble of a comedy series: "The Office." They do they keep showing the "30 Rock" people?
Denis Leary. Yum.
Charles Durning is bad ass.
Actor in a TV movie or miniseries: Kevin Kline for "As You Like It." Is that a new miniseries? Hee.
Actress in a TV movie or miniseries: Queen Latifah. Mickey Rooney said it was a tie, but whatever.
Heath Ledger was in the montage of people who had died.
There's Daniel Day Lewis referencing Heath Ledger, talking about "Monster's Ball" and "Brokeback Mountain." At least he had seen the films.
As "No Country" wins the best ensemble cast, Josh Brolin offers the quote of the night "The Coen Brothers are freaky little people and we did a freaky little movie, whether you like the ending or not."

Goodnight everybody.

Charleston, Charleston

2008-01-24T19:13:00.001-06:00

We're in Charleston, and this guy in a suit has to leave because he's having a baby, and it's his anniversary. Way to have your priorities straight even going to "American Idol," dude.
First is Raysharde. He says he sounds like Clay Aiken, although he is black. Randy is amused right away. Simon says "I wouldn't have been surprised if you had done a magic trick in the middle of that."
DeAnna swears before her audition starts, about the customers where she waitresses. They eat too much brunch. She is also a theatrical performer, and sassy. She corrects Simon on mispronouncing her name, and he tries to make jokes with her about not eating too much lunch. She gives him a death stare. She's out.
Randy and Crystal met "right over there, right by that trash can." Yow. Actually they met on "American Idol" message boards, which raises Ryan's eyebrows. They are singing, and Simon is frowning. "If I was in your family, I'd ask you to stop (singing)," Simon says to Crystal.
A huge, happy brother and sister come in, Michelle and Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he wears dog tags because Simon has a "military presence." They both get in! They are so adorable! I love them!
Amy says "whatevs!" and she preaches about abstinence. Randy says "Simon needs that" and she sort of accuses Simon of being gay. Surprise, he doesn't like her. "I think it's a bit much for you to say!" she says when he insults her. She makes it even though Simon says no.
London took care of her dying father before her audition. Ever get the feeling these people use these family tragedies? She gets through.
Fifteen make the cut the first day.
Lyndsey flies huge jets. She sings pretty well, but she doesn't make it.
Aretha is named after Aretha Franklin. She says she is as good as all the other Idols. She has the biggest breasts I have ever seen, and she can't stop arguing with the judges. Paula asks "is she married?"
Joshua sings "I am Telling You I am Not Going." Why do people even attempt this song? Even sung properly, it's horrible! When the judges reject him, he says "this show is fake and rigged!" and Simon says "you are rude and deluded." Then he storms out.
The baby daddy is back! Oliver has a weird audition, and gets rejected by everyone, but still brings his baby in, so I guess his priorities are OK after all. Simon says "I feel like this is my baby!"
Eight more make the cut the second day.

She just can't sing, OK?

2008-01-24T11:37:00.000-06:00

Aretha just could not let it go. There is an obvious reason why she got on TV in the first place. Actually two of them.

"Idol" hits the beach

2008-01-22T19:45:00.000-06:00

San Diego bound. Paula looks drunk!

Tetiana sings "Someone to Watch Over Me." Simon thought she was really obnoxious (I agree with him!) but everyone said yes to Hollywood anyway.
Perrie is a single dad with a wonderful little boy. His mom was killed. I like him. He sings Boyz II Men. He is going to Hollywood.
Michael is a white soul singer. Votefortheworst.com said he's already a pro, though. He gets to Hollywood.
Montage of bad people.
Valerie thinks she sounds like Mariah Carey. She does screech like Mariah, and might resemble Mariah at her most unbalanced, like that day she was handing out ice cream on "TRL." Simon tries to imitate her. She realizes she is "going to be on the rejects, this is so not cool!"
Montage includes a mime with a guy wearing a sombrero.
Simon notes that Monique looks like three different people dressed her. She is singing Whitney Houston. Simon says "I think this is going to be pointless" and she keeps singing. She goes on and on as the judges throw insults at her. Then she cries, and says "I know I can sing."
Her friend Christopher screams "The Greatest Love of All" and he is also a bad listener. He is also terrible. Simon asks "does that sound good to you, Christopher?" and he keeps singing. They seem to have a strategy of never stop singing. Grizz and Dotcom walk him out finally.
Simon lets Samantha's sister sits next to him for the audition. Samantha is not bad, singing Aretha Franklin. The sisters give Simon some love as Samantha goes to Hollywood.
Blake was "the idiot as the Statue of Liberty," in Simon's words. He has auditioned 10 times before. Blake's mom says this may be more her dream than his. He gets turned down, again.
Another bad montage. lots of crying.
Alberto is a g-d hippie. They show him spinning a Barbie and smelling flowers. And he belly dances. Again, He. Belly. Dances. He wrote his own song called "Live." He is nowhere near as fun as Renaldo and "Brothers Forever." Alberto says Simon kept interrupting his song. Later he hugs his ugly family. His family member says "he is talented in many different ways -- artistic, floral (?) ..."
Back from commercial with another montage.
David is also mentioned in votefortheworst as someone who has been behind the scenes at "Idol" for some time. Randy sings backup for him. he goes to Hollywood. Paula wants to squish him.
Last is Carly, who is also on votefortheworst. Simon says "that wasn't as good as two years ago!" and she glares at him. Still, she goes to Hollywood. Her and her freakishly tattooed husband are very cute as they cry.
Thirty others go to Hollywood.

Tomorrow is South Carolina.

"U2 3D"

2008-01-22T09:53:00.000-06:00

I review movies for The Naperville Sun on occasion, and here is my "U2 3D" review.

http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/napervillesun/entertainment/movies/751461,6_5_NA22_U2_S1.article

Here is the trailer.

This is my favorite audition EVER.

2008-01-17T21:48:00.000-06:00

There are already 49 versions of this on YouTube.

This is Dallas.

2008-01-17T20:04:00.001-06:00

The second night of "American Idol's" premiere was deep in heart of Texas.

First we find out a future Mother of the Year HAD HER BABY while waiting for her audition, and named her Idol, which is not a name, folks.
Then we hear Jessica's sob story about being hooked on Meth. She sings "I Stand By You," and they cut back and forth from her family to her, so you can be pretty sure she's in. And she is. Hope she does better than Gina Glocksen.
Next we see Paul, a park attendant. He is twice as big as Ryan, and probably everyone else. Simon had better be nice to him. If this doofus can sing, I'll eat my hat. No worries for my hat's sake. Simon is glaring at him, while Randy and Paula laugh at him. As he leaves they play doofus-y music, and says "Simon didn't come down on me like I thought he would, and he goes down on almost everyone." Yikes!
Next singer is Beth, a singing waitress. She way overdoes a Kelly Clarkson song, while Simon shakes his head no at Paula. "I have no idea what that was," Simon says.
Another montage of really bad stuff.
Alaina thinks Carrie Underwood looks like her. She's a pretty good singer, the best tonight so far, but Simon is quick to point out she is not as good as she thinks she is. Still, she is unanimously sent to Hollywood.
So far we have seen a guy who is not facing the judges before two commercial breaks. He must be hilarious.
A brother and sister have some weirdness going on right after the break. Simon just shakes his head yes, and they leave.
Then comes Bruce, who has a locket he shares with his father for his future wife. It's one of those two-part necklaces that middle-school couples give each other. He says he has never kissed a girl, and Randy cracks "on purpose?!" They all vote no, and Simon advises him to "avoid Ryan on the way out" and Randy says "kiss some girls."
Pia has a yellow mohawk, she is African American, and she is beautiful. Simon is smiling, and everyone loves her.
Brandon has been keeping his broken fingernails since middle school. Ryan says "that's not great" and shudders. He says he doesn't want to be like Paris Hilton and Simon says "So you don't want to be falling out of cars showing off your lack of underwear?" He gets to Hollywood. I hope he throws out the fingernails.
Kayla had a serious car accident so no matter what happens she's living life. She is weird. I wish she was good, because she almost lost half her face, but her performance is just really weird. Simon says, "Kayla, I want to be you for an hour a day." Sion says yes first, Paula says no, and Randy sends her to Hollywood. I think she might be this year's Sanjaya.
More bad auditions. Randy has got the wide eyes and the pursed lips. Siomon rolls his eyes more. Paula's faces aren't as interesting, so she's not on screen much.
Kady can do vocal impressions. She does a mean Britney Spears. She then starts to do another one, and they stop her. She does "Unchained Melody" as herself, and she is good. Simon says she is the best singer so far. She is going to Hollywood.
Eleven others make it the first day.
Douglas is the first we see from Day Two. His dad caught him singing one time and he said he hated him. This is the guy we have seen in the clips before the commercials. He sounds like he has the hiccups. "What the bloody hell was that?" Simon says. "Is he serious?" Simon asks, as Douglas wanders around and sings some more. "I don't want to hear any more of this stupidity." He. Won't. Stop. Simon says "Get out! ... Douglas, they're going to take you somewhere safe" as the security guards lead him out.
Angela is married to a professional model. "(A model,) Like me and Simon," Randy jokes. She is not a professional singer. Paula is dancing but she's not serious. The model loves it, and Simon says "the good news is, your husband really loves you." The model walks her out, as she tears up. They are adorable together.
After a commercial break, we get a "political commercial" for Kyle, who is wearing a yellow shirt with a red tie. He sings "Somebody to Love" by Queen and Simon says "you aren't as bad as I thought you were gonna be." He said yes, and the other two say "WOW" over and over. Randy says no, but he still goes to Hollywood. And he is the second person who is going to Hollywood to attempt to fake out his family.
Tammy is not an effervescent person and she spends most of her audition staring at the judges. She is singing Celine Dion, and she is somehow FAR more annoying, but only because she can't sing at all. Randy says "it was awful" and she says "thank you."
Colton needs to do something about his eyebrows. He is country all the way. He is either nervous or totally into his own performance, and going to Hollywood. Another fake out. In fact, he wants the judges to yell "you were terrible" as he is leaving. The fake outs are getting tiresome.
Drew is a country boy, a farmer. Simon doesn't like him, Randy liked him and Paula wasn't wowed by him, but she still sent him to Hollywood.
Kyle wears a fake tan, eyeliner (and calls it guy-liner) and blush. He's got a T-shirt signed by all his friends. My husband calls him a cross between Mango and Zoolander. He works as a counselor and he seems a little creepy. His audition is dorky, he holds his hand like a microphone. He is quite off key. "It was a very disturbing, slightly demonic audition," says Simon. Kyle suggests another song and Simon says "you could never do anything about those eyes."
After the break a bunch of people butcher a Kelly Clarkson song, including a woman in whiteface?! Simon says, "OK, I now officially hate that song."
Nina, who is drop dead gorgeous and from Kelly Clarkson's hometown, has to listen to the judges bicker about who liked Kelly Clarkson and who didn't. They give her two chances, probably because of her looks. No one seems thrilled with her, but Randy and Paula say yes. She's going to Hollywood.
Renaldo, who looks like Bobby Trendy and sounds like William Hung, is still to come. He is wearing a white suit with a silver cape and a pimp hat. Ryan is amazed people bow to him. They stand next to each other for a second, and it is a funny image. He has Simon on his hat because "everyone everywhere speaks the name of Simon." His song is his own and is called "We're Brothers Forever." It is something that a 7-year-old would make up. "We're brothers 'til the end of time!" The judges make fun of him right in front of his face, and Randy then joins him and sways back and forth. Randy brings Ryan in to watch, too. Paula has left, and Simon says "I know what's coming." "I AM YOUR BROTHER! YOUR BEST FRIEND FOREVER!" Renaldo sings, at least 4 billion times. Simon hugs him, and later Renaldo, while crying, says Simon is "Heaven's chosen."
In all, 24 from Dallas go to Hollywood.

Here is the Princess Leia contestant on "Idol"

2008-01-16T09:14:00.000-06:00

As a "Star Wars" fan, I object.

"American Idol" is back

2008-01-15T19:41:00.000-06:00

This ... is "American Idol!" The first auditions are from Philadelphia.

First guy, Joey, has lost more than 200 pounds, and I am already worried about him. This is too hard! Joey's going to Hollywood! Thank God. But Simon says "He looks hungry."
Next up is Borat, or something, from Egypt. "I want to love a girl, from the hair to the nipple ... I want to for Mr. The Bee Gees." Good God when will this be done? No high-five for him.
Melanie sang backup for Taylor Hicks. And she is going to Hollywood too.
James is a tour guide. He is an African-American male who says he sounds like Eddie Vedder. He sounds like he has mouth full of marbles. He is ... AWFUL! All three judges are laughing. Paula looks like she may even be laughing so hard she's crying. The first comment, from Simon, "I'm sorry, James." "Would you like me to sing something else?" "NO!"
Now a montage of terrible singers, which brings out the worst of the judges. Simon says to one, "Sybil! Sybil! Sybil! Shut up!"
Junot is next. He is very good, and will go to Hollywood. Jose also goes to Hollywood, with a song in Spanish. Jonathan goes to Hollywood as well.
Temptress is a 16-year-old female linebacker. She is huge, incredibly sweet and her mother is very sick. God, I hope she's good. And ... she's not. And now she's crying, so all three of the judges walk her out. It's a very moving moment.
Mark sings "White Christmas" badly. It's a no.
Udgeet is dancing, according to him, like MC Hammer. He also says people say he sounds like Frank Sinatra and Barry Manilow. He sounds like me, in the shower. It's bad. "Did you honestly think you had any chance of getting through and winning?" "Yes I did." "It was slightly disturbing, the audition."
Another montage, of people singing "I Love Rock 'n' Roll." Most of them are best described as ... spazzy.
Alexis wears shiny eye shadow and glitter, lots of glitter. She is from Allentown and claims the song "Allentown" is by Bon Jovi. She shows off her home, which appears to be one room. My husband asks, "where's the meth lab?" He has it nailed. She compares herself Janis Joplin, Grace Slick or Pat Benatar. "It was a little bit possessed," Simon says. She gives the camera the finger with both hands and she says "That's it! I'm going for actressing!" Ryan looked a little scared.
Angela, from Chicago, has a handicapped daughter. I just have my fingers crossed here, and right away you can tell she's good. She has a ton of personality, too, too much for Simon. He says she needs to "de-weddingize." But she's going to Hollywood, and her family tackles Ryan. Simon has this to say, "The amazing thing about this country is you are geuinely happy when someone you know does well." Thus ended Day One.
On Day Two in Philly, Alyse sings "Feelin' Good," and Simon stops her to say "It was exactly identical to a nightmare I had last week." Thus follows a montage of nightmarish singing.
A strange man named Milo, in a leopard vest, insists he needs to come in and sing a song called "No Sex Allowed." He is 39, but Ryan lets him in. He is marching as he sings a song that goes "Sex is weak, and love is strong." Randy sings along with the chorus "No sex allowed!" Milo was satisfied, even after Simon called his song "perverted."
Kristy is a cage fighter who lives in a log cabin. She can also sing, and she sings "Amazing Grace." She's going to Hollywood.
Benjamin is wearing a black velvet cloak. "I just wanted it to be a surprise. My costume." He is wearing the Princess Leia gold bikini. He looks bad. They don't even listen to him sing. Paula advises him to wax his chest hair, and Simon says "why did you bother to do that?"
Paul is singing a love song he wrote for Paula Abdul. Is he ever creepy! He sings that he broke into her house and wore her underwear. "If she were a chalkboard I would chalk her." All these things rhyme with stalker. He kind of had to be kicked out.
Beth's last name was Stalker. So naturally, this was the segue. She sang an old-fashioned song in an old-fashioned way. She's going to Hollywood, even though Simon says she won't stand out in a crowd.
The Princess Leia guy is back. He waxed his chest hair. Simon is NOT happy. He sang one line and is back off again.
Chris wants to be a legend. He sings an Uncle Kracker song. Simon thinks he looks like a star, and "the chicks will like you." I agree. He's going to Hollywood.
Christina is a "Star Wars" fan. As a fellow "Star Wars" fan, I am ashamed. Luckily, she is also terrible. Simon had it in for her when she walked in. I don't think he likes "Star Wars." "People call me a dork in a negative fashion; I think of it as a positive fashion," she says. "Nice to meet you, Christina," Simon says. "Give my love to the Wookiee."
Brooke is a skinny blondie; she is the anti-Christina. The most interesting thing about her? "I've never seen an R-rated movie." She is a good singer. "There's something very pure about you," Randy says. Simon says "we can bring you over to the dark side." And she says, "I dare you!"
Twenty-nine people got in.

That ... was "American Idol."

Golden Globes winners

2008-01-13T20:09:00.000-06:00

The "press conference" show is now a memory, and here was the TV scene.
TV supporting actor in a series, miniseries or TV movie: Jeremy Piven for "Entourage." Enough already for this overrated show!
TV supporting actress in a series, miniseries or TV movie: Samantha Morton for "Longford." OK, good for whatever "Longford" is.
TV actress in a drama series: Glenn Close for "Damages." A well-deserved win for an astounding performance.
TV actor for drama series: Jon Hamm for "Mad Men." Woo hoo! Hamm blew me away with his complicated leading character Don Draper.
TV actor for a miniseries or TV movie: Jim Broadbent for "Longford." Oh, come on.
TV actress for a miniseries or TV movie: Queen Latifah for "Life Support." Happy for Queen Latifah, unaware of the miniseries or TV movie.
TV actor in a comedy series: David Duchovny for "Californication." A cool guy in a hot show.
TV comedy series: "Extras." A very awkward, and very funny comedy.
TV actress in a comedy series: Tina Fey in "30 Rock." A great writer and actress, rewarded for coming up with such a brilliant comedy that wouldn't be the same without her writing and acting.
TV miniseries or TV movie: "Longford," again, whatever that is.
TV drama: "Mad Men." If you haven't seen it yet, you will have to add it to your Netflix list.

The non TV award I was particularly happy about was "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" because it was the oddball in the category. There will be plenty of praise for "Juno" to come, because it is excellent.

It's nice they found a way to tell us about the winners, by the way, but this show was really weird. I can't say I give a care what bubbleheads Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell, who keep talking over each other, think of anything! At least it was quick.

Celebrity of the year

2008-01-10T16:53:00.001-06:00

This is a fun exercise from Newsweek. The only trouble is, I knew going in who would win.

Is this what the world is coming to?

2008-01-08T15:37:00.000-06:00

I saw this quirky movie called "The TV Set" recently. With "American Idol" about to start up and all these weird-sounding new reality shows on the schedule (I don't even want to know what "Baby Borrowers" is), I found this clip, "Slut Wars," particularly appropriate.
How far off are we from this?

Will anyone miss the Golden Globes?

2008-01-08T14:22:00.001-06:00

One of the latest victims of the writers strike is the Golden Globes telecast. It is fun to see the pretty dresses, but who will actually miss the show? I mean, we will still get the results, and it's one less award show where we can become disillusioned by the breakout star giving the same speech he/she will give everywhere else, and the whole Hollywood Press Corps is pretty suspect anyway.
The Globes were supposed to be on NBC Sunday. Here are 3 things you could check out instead.
1) "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles": new Sarah (Lena Headey, "300"), same cool terminators. 8 p.m., Fox.
2) "Mean Girls": Check out Lindsay Lohan before she was a train wreck. Also stars Tina Fey. 8 p.m., ABC Family.
3) "I Love New York: Reunion": See how long you can watch before you have to throw up. 7:30 p.m., VH-1.

Midseason malaise

2008-01-05T18:08:00.000-06:00

What looks good to you in this midseason lineup?

Personally I am looking forward to "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" and Lost." And, um, catching up on my reading?

'Mad Men' top show in 2007

2008-01-05T17:53:00.000-06:00

Click here to see my top TV shows for 2007.
(Note: The article was cut. My last two shows on my top ten were "Reaper" and "The Simpsons.")
Here are some other shows I like that didn't make the list for one reason or another:
"24:" A terrible 6th season and nonexistant 7th season left me cold.
"Aliens in America," the best of the freshman comedies.
"Everybody Hates Chris," a consistently hilarious sitcom.
"Heroes:" still a must-see, even when it's stupid.
"My Name is Earl," the most lovable hillbillies on TV.
"Rescue Me," in spite of itself, I can't turn away.
"Scrubs:" Saying goodbye after 7 good years.